Here's a heart-warming conclusion about global warming, drawn by a green nut with too much time on his hands and too many professional connections. What follows his commentary is my translation of his glee:
Global Warming Will Save America from the Right...Eventually
by Dave Lindorff
The future political map of America is likely to look a lot different, with much of the so-called “red” state region either gone or depopulated.
Sat., 12/22/2007 - 19:21—
Say what you will about the looming catastrophe facing the world as the pace of global heating and polar melting accelerates. There is a silver lining.
Look at a map of the US.
The area that will by completely inundated by the rising ocean—and not in a century but in the lifetime of my two cats—are the American southeast.
Let's toast his cats to long life, as well as their swimming instincts!
Including the most populated area of Texas, almost all of Florida, most of Louisiana, and half of Alabama and Mississippi, as well as goodly portions of eastern Georgia, South Carolina and North Carolina.
He's a geography student with a remarkable vision. That is, colorblindeness. Globes with the green colour means land that's above sea level. But colourblind people cannot see green, so he must think its a flood coastline.
While the northeast will also see some coastal flooding, its geography is such that that aside from a few projecting sandbars like Long Island and Cape Cod, the land rises fairly quickly to well above sea level.
Blast! I was counting on the libs in the NE being washed out of their homes too!
Sure, Boston, New York and Philadelphia will be threatened, but these are geographically confined areas that could lend themselves to protection by Dutch-style dikes. The West Coast too tends to rise rapidly to well above sea level in most places. Only down in Southern California towards the San Diego area is the ground closer to sea level.
Ooh! We'll only save the liberal political centres of our country? Excellent!
So what we see is that huge swaths of conservative America are set to face a biblical deluge in a few more presidential cycles.
Unless president for life Hitlery Rotten Clinton takes command of this "Day After Tomorrow" nightmare and uses brutal force to make everyone shed their loathesome middle-classness and worship the earth goddess Gaia (i.e., her).
Then there’s the matter of the Midwest, which climate experts say is likely to face a permanent condition of unprecedented drought, making the place largely unlivable, and certainly unfarmable.
There is no geological evidence that the midwest was ever a desert, not even 50,000,000 years ago when, according to sensational scientific claims, the north pole was last ice-free.
But wait! Why am I daring to dispute this man's political hopes and dreams of a post-apocalyptic progressive liberal Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome-type civilisation?
The agribusinesses and conservative farmers that have been growing corn and wheat may be able to stretch out this doomsday scenario by deep well drilling, but west of the Mississippi, the vast Ogallala Aquifer that has allowed for such irrigation is already being tapped out. It will not be replaced.
Aww shoot! Then how're we gonna grow our ethanol?! I guess its back to pure leaded 95 octane Exxon supreme!
So again, we will see the decline and depopulation of the nation’s vast midsection—noted for its consistent conservatism. Only in the northernmost area, around the Great Lakes (which will be not so great anymore), and along the Canadian border, will there still be enough rain for farming and continued large population concentrations, but those regions, like Minnesota, Wisconsin and Illinois, are also more liberal in their politics.
Good! Good! The liberals will survive...
While the conservatives shall starve to death in the deserts, singing praises to their god, George W. with chapped, bleeding lips, cannibalising the corpses of their homophobic children in order to curse Hillary's name to heaven with their last breath!
HURRAAH!!
Finally, in the Southwest, already parched and stiflingly hot, the rise in energy costs and the soaring temperatures will put an end to right-wing retirement communities like Phoenix, Tucson and Palm Springs.
Yes! Yes! Let the old conservatives DIE!
Kill them, O vengeful nature! Kill them allll! BWAH HA HA HA HA!!
Tombstone, Arizona shall be a sea of bare bones, for who shall have the wish to give holy burial to the cursed devils of conservatism???!
Already the Salton Sea is fading away and putting Palm Springs on notice that the good times are coming to an end. Another right-wing haven soon to be gone.
Yes! Empty buildings and grinning skulls shall bear mute testimony to the justified wrath of the progressive liberal climate change!!
So the future political map of America is likely to look as different as the much shrunken geographical map, with much of the so-called “red” state region either gone or depopulated.
Let's hope the masses of red state peoples starve slowly, whittled down to shuffling skeletons with hollow eyes and swollen organs!!
There is a poetic justice to this of course. It is conservatives who are giving us the candidates who steadfastly refuse to have the nation take steps that could slow the pace of climate change, so it is appropriate that they should bear the brunt of its impact.
Yeah! Take that, you George W. voters!
The important thing is that we, on the higher ground both actually and figuratively, need to remember that, when they begin their historic migration from their doomed regions, we not give them the keys to the city.
Finally, those liberals will build that border fence we've been talking about all this time!
They certainly should be offered assistance in their time of need, but we need to keep a firm grip on our political systems, making sure that these guilty throngs who allowed the world to go to hell are gerrymandered into political impotence in their new homes.
That's right. Ghettos for the conservatives. Labour camps with thin soup, lice-infested blankets, and political kapos armed with whips, to make those selfish, lazy, subhuman UNTERMENSCH republicans work for the glory of the Thousand Year Liberal Ameri-Reich!
There will be much work to be done to help the earth and its residents—human and non-human—survive this man-made catastrophe, and we can’t have these future refugee troglodytes, should their personal disasters still fail to make them recognize reality, mucking things up again.
Then, take no chances! Do not allow even the children of the survivors to grow up and have a chance at revenge! Deliberately exterminate them all!
SS-Envirofuehrer David "the Mengele" Lindorff will have to stand at the entrance to the conservative refugee camps, and divert the able-bodied to work to death for the environment, while the unfit, the elderly, the women, and the children move on to be gassed and burned (using the latest in non-carb cremation ovens, of course!)
It should be considered acceptable, in this stifling new world, to say, “Shut up. We told you this would happen.”
We told you, conservatives! We told you to GET OUT OF OUR PROGRESSIVE Country. But you money-grubbing, parasitic republican leeches stayed to feed off the liberal body of the progressive master race!
And now, only the FINAL SOLUTION to the conservative question is left.
Its is a matter of environmental hygiene.
It is Darwinism. The strong and pure of political thought survive, while the conservative subhumans must be exterminated like the social lice they are!
SIEG HEIL, David Lindorff! Your name shall live forever, like those other pioneers who knew that, the only way to deal with people you don't like, is to imprison, starve, and kill them.
Glad to see the American left has picked up on this...
Jurched
Global Warming Will Save America from the Right...Eventually
by Dave Lindorff
The future political map of America is likely to look a lot different, with much of the so-called “red” state region either gone or depopulated.
Sat., 12/22/2007 - 19:21—
Say what you will about the looming catastrophe facing the world as the pace of global heating and polar melting accelerates. There is a silver lining.
Look at a map of the US.
The area that will by completely inundated by the rising ocean—and not in a century but in the lifetime of my two cats—are the American southeast.
Let's toast his cats to long life, as well as their swimming instincts!
Including the most populated area of Texas, almost all of Florida, most of Louisiana, and half of Alabama and Mississippi, as well as goodly portions of eastern Georgia, South Carolina and North Carolina.
He's a geography student with a remarkable vision. That is, colorblindeness. Globes with the green colour means land that's above sea level. But colourblind people cannot see green, so he must think its a flood coastline.
While the northeast will also see some coastal flooding, its geography is such that that aside from a few projecting sandbars like Long Island and Cape Cod, the land rises fairly quickly to well above sea level.
Blast! I was counting on the libs in the NE being washed out of their homes too!
Sure, Boston, New York and Philadelphia will be threatened, but these are geographically confined areas that could lend themselves to protection by Dutch-style dikes. The West Coast too tends to rise rapidly to well above sea level in most places. Only down in Southern California towards the San Diego area is the ground closer to sea level.
Ooh! We'll only save the liberal political centres of our country? Excellent!
So what we see is that huge swaths of conservative America are set to face a biblical deluge in a few more presidential cycles.
Unless president for life Hitlery Rotten Clinton takes command of this "Day After Tomorrow" nightmare and uses brutal force to make everyone shed their loathesome middle-classness and worship the earth goddess Gaia (i.e., her).
Then there’s the matter of the Midwest, which climate experts say is likely to face a permanent condition of unprecedented drought, making the place largely unlivable, and certainly unfarmable.
There is no geological evidence that the midwest was ever a desert, not even 50,000,000 years ago when, according to sensational scientific claims, the north pole was last ice-free.
But wait! Why am I daring to dispute this man's political hopes and dreams of a post-apocalyptic progressive liberal Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome-type civilisation?
The agribusinesses and conservative farmers that have been growing corn and wheat may be able to stretch out this doomsday scenario by deep well drilling, but west of the Mississippi, the vast Ogallala Aquifer that has allowed for such irrigation is already being tapped out. It will not be replaced.
Aww shoot! Then how're we gonna grow our ethanol?! I guess its back to pure leaded 95 octane Exxon supreme!
So again, we will see the decline and depopulation of the nation’s vast midsection—noted for its consistent conservatism. Only in the northernmost area, around the Great Lakes (which will be not so great anymore), and along the Canadian border, will there still be enough rain for farming and continued large population concentrations, but those regions, like Minnesota, Wisconsin and Illinois, are also more liberal in their politics.
Good! Good! The liberals will survive...
While the conservatives shall starve to death in the deserts, singing praises to their god, George W. with chapped, bleeding lips, cannibalising the corpses of their homophobic children in order to curse Hillary's name to heaven with their last breath!
HURRAAH!!
Finally, in the Southwest, already parched and stiflingly hot, the rise in energy costs and the soaring temperatures will put an end to right-wing retirement communities like Phoenix, Tucson and Palm Springs.
Yes! Yes! Let the old conservatives DIE!
Kill them, O vengeful nature! Kill them allll! BWAH HA HA HA HA!!
Tombstone, Arizona shall be a sea of bare bones, for who shall have the wish to give holy burial to the cursed devils of conservatism???!
Already the Salton Sea is fading away and putting Palm Springs on notice that the good times are coming to an end. Another right-wing haven soon to be gone.
Yes! Empty buildings and grinning skulls shall bear mute testimony to the justified wrath of the progressive liberal climate change!!
So the future political map of America is likely to look as different as the much shrunken geographical map, with much of the so-called “red” state region either gone or depopulated.
Let's hope the masses of red state peoples starve slowly, whittled down to shuffling skeletons with hollow eyes and swollen organs!!
There is a poetic justice to this of course. It is conservatives who are giving us the candidates who steadfastly refuse to have the nation take steps that could slow the pace of climate change, so it is appropriate that they should bear the brunt of its impact.
Yeah! Take that, you George W. voters!
The important thing is that we, on the higher ground both actually and figuratively, need to remember that, when they begin their historic migration from their doomed regions, we not give them the keys to the city.
Finally, those liberals will build that border fence we've been talking about all this time!
They certainly should be offered assistance in their time of need, but we need to keep a firm grip on our political systems, making sure that these guilty throngs who allowed the world to go to hell are gerrymandered into political impotence in their new homes.
That's right. Ghettos for the conservatives. Labour camps with thin soup, lice-infested blankets, and political kapos armed with whips, to make those selfish, lazy, subhuman UNTERMENSCH republicans work for the glory of the Thousand Year Liberal Ameri-Reich!
There will be much work to be done to help the earth and its residents—human and non-human—survive this man-made catastrophe, and we can’t have these future refugee troglodytes, should their personal disasters still fail to make them recognize reality, mucking things up again.
Then, take no chances! Do not allow even the children of the survivors to grow up and have a chance at revenge! Deliberately exterminate them all!
SS-Envirofuehrer David "the Mengele" Lindorff will have to stand at the entrance to the conservative refugee camps, and divert the able-bodied to work to death for the environment, while the unfit, the elderly, the women, and the children move on to be gassed and burned (using the latest in non-carb cremation ovens, of course!)
It should be considered acceptable, in this stifling new world, to say, “Shut up. We told you this would happen.”
We told you, conservatives! We told you to GET OUT OF OUR PROGRESSIVE Country. But you money-grubbing, parasitic republican leeches stayed to feed off the liberal body of the progressive master race!
And now, only the FINAL SOLUTION to the conservative question is left.
Its is a matter of environmental hygiene.
It is Darwinism. The strong and pure of political thought survive, while the conservative subhumans must be exterminated like the social lice they are!
SIEG HEIL, David Lindorff! Your name shall live forever, like those other pioneers who knew that, the only way to deal with people you don't like, is to imprison, starve, and kill them.
Glad to see the American left has picked up on this...
Jurched
