Gratuitous Nevermore Board Sexxor Thread

At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shocking truth. Some young women actually anticipate the wedding night ordeal with curiosity and pleasure! Beware such an attitude! A selfish and sensual husband can easily take advantage of such a bride. One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: GIVE LITTLE, GIVE SELDOM, AND ABOVE ALL, GIVE GRUDGINGLY. Otherwise what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.(oh noes!!!! teh orgees!!!)

On the other hand, the bride's terror need not be extreme. While sex is at best revolting and at worse rather painful, it has to be endured, and has been by women since the beginning of time, and is compensated for by the monogamous home and by the children produced through it.

It is useless, in most cases, for the bride to prevail upon the groom to forego the sexual initiation. While the ideal husband would be one who would approach his bride only at her request and only for the purpose of begetting offspring, such nobility and unselfishness cannot be expected from the average man.

Most men, if not denied, would demand sex almost every day. The wise bride will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly during the first months of marriage. As time goes by she should make every effort to reduce this frequency. Feigned illness, sleepiness, and headaches are among the wife's best friends in this matter. Arguments, nagging, scolding, and bickering also prove very effective, if used in the late evening about an hour before the husband would normally commence his seduction.

Clever wives are ever on the alert for new and better methods of denying and discouraging the amorous overtures of the husband. A good wife should expect to have reduced sexual contacts to once a week by the end of the first year of marriage and to once a month by the end of the fifth year of marriage.

[...]

Nudity, talking about sex, reading stories about sex, viewing photographs and drawings depicting or suggesting sex are the obnoxious habits the male is likely to acquire if permitted. A wise bride will make it the goal never to allow her husband to see her unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her. Sex, when it cannot be prevented, should be practiced only in total darkness. Many women have found it useful to have thick cotton nightgowns for themselves and pajamas for their husbands. These should be donned in separate rooms. They need not be removed during the sex act. Thus, a minimum of flesh is exposed.

Once the bride has donned her gown and turned off all the lights, she should lie quietly upon the bed and await her groom. When he comes groping into the room she should make no sound to guide him in her direction, lest he take this as a sign of encouragement. She should let him grope in the dark. There is always the hope that he will stumble and incur some slight injury which she can use as an excuse to deny him sexual access.

When he finds her, the wife should lie as still as possible. Bodily motion on her part could be interpreted as sexual excitement by the optimistic husband.

If he attempts to kiss her on the lips she should turn her head slightly so that the kiss falls harmlessly on her cheek instead. If he attempts to kiss her hand, she should make a fist. If he lifts her gown and attempts to kiss her anyplace else she should quickly pull the gown back in place, spring from the bed, and announce that nature calls her to the toilet. This will generally dampen his desire to kiss in the forbidden territory.

If the husband attempts to seduce her with lascivious talk, the wise wife will suddenly remember some trivial non-sexual question to ask him. Once he answers she should keep the conversation going, no matter how frivolous it may seem at the time. Eventually, the husband will learn that if he insists on having sexual contact, he must get on with it without amorous embellishment.

The wise wife will allow him to pull the gown up no farther than the waist, and only permit him to open the front of his pajamas to thus make connection. She will be absolutely silent or babble about her housework while he's huffing and puffing away. Above all, she will lie perfectly still and never under any circumstances grunt or groan while the act is in progress.

As soon as the husband has completed the act, the wise wife will start nagging him about various minor tasks she wishes him to perform on the morrow. Many men obtain a major portion of their sexual satisfaction from the peaceful exhaustion immediately after the act is over. Thus the wife must insure that there is no peace in this period for him to enjoy. Otherwise, he might be encouraged to soon try for more.
 
ahahahaaaa

"Be a Lover AND a Fighter"
She Said, "I Don't Want a Stud In the Gym During the Day Who's a Dud in the Bedroom at Night"
Introducing the Life, Love and Relationship Enhancing ... "Chuang Shang de Gong Fu" - China's Secret Sexual Kung Fu Love Making System - It'll Make You the Master of Any and All Bedroom Suites

Wednesday, 6:57 a.m.
Beijing, China

Dear Friend,

If you've ever felt the humiliating sting of a lover saying that your "little soldier" ain't quite up to snuff; or, if you're already a great lover who simply wants to go to a whole new level of orgasmic bliss, then hold onto your pants because this letter may be one of the most helpful pieces of information about sex and love making you will ever read.

Here's why: In "the West" - sex is usually thought of as either a dirty word or something you do to "get your rocks off." Typically, we don't think of it as a health practice that is vitally important for the functioning of the WHOLE body ...not to mention the WHOLE mind.

Most people don't view sex and love making as a way to strengthen the muscles, tendons, ligaments and organs of the body. Most don't think of it as a way to turn back the clock, lose weight, improve cardiovascular health, enhance athletic performance, become more creative, increase mental power, mysteriously attract greater success ... and so on.

Yet in China, a country with a recorded history that dates back more than 5,000 years, masters of Chuang Shang de Gong Fu understand that when you make love consciously and with a different intention, you can literally do far more than "create babies" and orgasms. You can use the emotional power of sex to help you accomplish anything and everything you want out of life.

"In China they have a saying, Ren Pang Qiu Duan -
If A Man is Too Fat, His Penis Is Very Short"
Seven years ago, when I first visited China's Hainan Island, I heard the above saying for the first time. And let me tell you, it was so right on I instantly wrote it down so I would remember it.

I'll never forget the night I heard this saying, either. A contingent of family and friends got together for dinner at a famous "hot pot" restaurant. This restaurant was on the second floor of a five-star hotel, and let me tell you, it wasn't just a meal I was having that evening. It was an adventure.

A group of four enchanting women sang and danced on stage while we ate. One of them, a tall, slender lady with long reddish hair (which is quite fashionable now in China), kept looking our way. At first I thought it was because I was filming the show. But I was wrong.

30 minutes later, when the performance concluded, the sexy red-head walked down the front of the stage. She was holding a red rose in hand and smelling it as she walked. And to my utter amazement she was heading right toward our table. Literally ... right toward ME.

I put the camcorder down when she approached. She smiled, slowly handed the rose to me, then purred, in perfect English, "I hope you enjoy your stay in Hainan."

I almost fell out of my chair.

My wife broke out laughing.

"She got you," she said. "You should have seen your face."

Not completely sure of the meaning of it all, I turned to the man sitting to my left. "I think this lady has very good gong fu," he said. "You are the the shuai-chiao world champion - but I think maybe this lady is a different kind of gong fu champion."

Little did I know at the time, that the man who said this, was telling the truth. Not only that, but I had no idea that this man, whom I refer to as Master Zhang, is himself a master of this gong fu style. No, it's not Shaolin gong fu. Nor is it white crane, long fist, plum flower or anything of the sort. The gong fu art Master Zhang referred to is called Chuang Shang de Gong Fu .

Although this "lost" art of love making comes from China, most people in this vast country don't know the first thing about it. For the most part, the only people who know it are "royalty" and high-level mistresses who work for the wealthiest businessmen in China. Amazingly, these very people are the ones in China who live the longest, look younger than their age and appear to attract success like magic.

"Master Zhang, the 55-Year Old
Chuang Shang de Gong Fu Master
Who Looks Like He's Only 35"
When I first met Master Zhang he was 48 years old. I thought he looked much younger than his years THEN - but today at 55 years of age, he still looks like he's only 35.

Shortly after meeting we became friends, and over the last seven years, he and I get together regularly to talk. In fact, we often travel together from place to place - as his cultural knowledge of China is so vast he can explain many things to me that no one else can. And Chuang Shang de Gong Fu is one of those things.

Master Zhang was first introduced to the art some 30 years ago ... by an act of "fate."

At that time the young Zhang Di Yi, was a frustrated 25-year old who didn't know the first thing about sex. Yet, one day he overheard part of a conversation about Chuang Shang de Gong Fu, and from then on his curiosity never waned. Quite often he asked himself the question, "How can I learn more about sex and love making like the so-called Chuang Shang de Gong Fu masters?"

A few weeks after beginning to think very seriously upon this question, Master Zhang was walking along the street when rain began to pour. Directly to his right a 90-year old man, was riding his bicycle. Then, all of a sudden, the old man hit a small rock with his front tire.

The old man hit the ground hard and was unable to get up on his own. The young Zhang Di Yi immediately rushed to the old man's aide and helped him up. He asked the old man where he lived and helped him to his apartment. Over time he frequently returned to the old man's home to bring him medicine and to make sure he was doing okay. Funny thing is that although the old man was 90, he recovered from the injury incredibly fast.

Even so, one day, to show his gratitude to Zhang Di Yi for "saving" his life, the old man took a major risk and gave him an ancient book that had been passed onto him by his great grandfather. He told Zhang to "study it" and if he had any questions he would help. And, as you can imagine, the old man forbid his new student to tell anyone about this book. It was not only "secret" knowledge. To the old man, it was also sacred.

"From Sexual Frustration to Master of the Bedroom"
Within a few weeks of practicing the exercises contained in the old book, Zhang Di Yi grew in strength, looked healthier and had a new found confidence. Amazingly, he started to attract girls to himself without even trying. On his next visit to the old man he asked many questions, and his teacher told him everything he could. He gave him some other exercises to do that weren't in the book, but were passed down to him by "word of mouth." All of these exercises were designed to increase his manliness or "yang qi."

One month later, the once frustrated young man was now filled with magnetism and charisma. He smiled often and laughed easily. His entire life had changed.

When China's door opened to economic growth, Master Zhang was at the forefront. While most in China traveled by foot or on a bicycle, he rode around in his own car. He traveled and lived in style. After 30 years of practice, he is living proof that becoming a master of Chuang Shang de Gong Fu can help you master everything else in your life, too. Afterall, the hardest thing to control, regulate and use properly, is sex energy. He who knows how to do this is the "captain of his ship."

'Man Who Wakes Up With Soft Penis Not in Good Health'
This might sound a bit strange, but think back to the days in which you were a young boy. Can you recall a single instance in which you woke up in the morning without an erection? Unless you were sick, it just didn't happen.

Now, perhaps you think that a "morning erection" has nothing to do with anything. But I assure you, it does. Your "morning wood" is an indicator of your hormone and testosterone levels - or what the Chinese would call "yang qi."

Put simply, if your hormone and testosterone levels have declined (and if you're getting older, I assure you they have), then you're probably waking up "soft" more often than you'd like to admit. Instead of maintaining "yang qi" - you're losing your "yang" and becoming more "yin" - or feminine. This is something that western doctors are finally discovering. Yet in China, this has been known for ages - and there is a solution.

In fact, if you frequently or regularly suffer from any of the following problems or symptoms, then "Chuang Shang de Gong Fu can help you a great deal." Each item listed below is usually due to the lack of a fulfilling and loving sex life:

1. Qian Lie Xie - beginning stage of enlarged prostate

2. Yang Wei - impotence

3. Zhu er bu jian, jian er bu jiu - trouble maintaining an erection once you have it

4. Hua tang pao - premature ejaculation

5. Yao teng - lower back pain

6. Da duzi - big stomach

7. Xinzang bing - heart disease

8. Ya yi - depression

9. Pi Bei De Yanjing - lack of sparkle in the eyes

10. Mei you xin xin - lack of self-confidence

11. Hen rongyi lei - easily tired

12. Xi guan jie - weakness in knees

13. Hen rongyi shengqi - easily angered

14. Yi jing - frequent wet dreams

15. Bu neng fang song - unable to relax

16. Hen zisi - selfishness

17. Bu jing chang xiao - inability to smile

18. Mei you you mo gan - no sense of humor

19. Mei you chang zuo gan - lack of creativity

20. Bu jian kang - lack of overall health
 
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This band absolutely defies description, more so than any other band I've ever encountered in my life. The CLOSEST I can get to describing them, is Frank Zappa meets Neurosis. With homemade instruments.

They're the best group I've discovered in years. I'm in awe of these guys.
 

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