Guess the band from this myspace news flash

JayKeeley

Be still, O wand'rer!
Apr 26, 2002
26,184
39
38
54
www.royalcarnage.com
As non-careerists, we don't go trolling about myspace indiscriminately making friend requests, trying to "beef up our numbers". We don't suffer from the illusion that having 50 million "friends" in this disease-ridden, vermin-infested online social networking ghetto will make us rich and famous. We can feel sorry for such witless turds, but we don't have to add them. We will not spam your page with flyers for shows that are happening on the other side of the planet. We will not use your page to exhort viewers to vote for us in stupid contests or worthless promotions. We will not clog your inbox with invitations to join useless groups or check out friend's profiles. We will not post 3 bulletins a day begging and pleading you to check out our new mp3s, blogs, pics or anything else.

We don't need exposure. We don't want to know about your thinly veiled pay-to-play scams (rip off schemes like Emergenza and Concerts First). We're not interested in shady "artist developement services", (like A&R Select). We won't play your shitty battle of the bands. We won't play your stupid benefit. We won't pay a dime to be on your shitty compilation. We won't contribute free music to your crap movie (for "a free copy and great exposure"). We won't enter your ridiculous contest. We won't compete for a chance to play your horrible little festival.

We won't send you free stuff for your zine or radio show, be it real or imaginary. All of our music - and everyone else's - is free now. If you can't figure out how to pirate mp3s, fear not; if you're smart enough to have a myspace profile you're smart enough to steal music. Just put your thinking cap on for a bit and we'll be seeing you on the high seas of music piracy in no time... AHOY!
 
It's Hammers of Misfortune. Didn't realize bands still entered "battle of the bands" tournaments or pay to play festivals.

By the way, double album on the way.... $100 says they'll give it out for free a la Radiohead.

EDIT: you have to pay to appear on a compilation? Whatever happened when this stuff worked the other way around. The bands have no leg to stand on anymore. I suppose the downside with being on the *real* underground is that people will take advantage.
 
Double album on the way?!?! SHIT!

Anyway, that fucker really wrote that? I hope it was sarcastic. Funny, I didnt get that bulletin....or is it on their actual page?

Nah, it's on their myspace, and actually I fucked this up because I've taken it out of context. To be fair, the entire message has to do with the fact that they've switched over to myspace for all the latest updates, and that the 'actual' HoM website is getting hit with spam junk adbots which are probably the only 'site visitors'. It's all tongue in cheek.
 
I'm sure the over the top misanthropy in the update isn't meant to be taken entirely seriously, but judging from interviews I've read, I'm sure they indeed have some degree of disgust for the Myspacing of the metal community and the business end of metal...and of course I agree with most of it, except for the part about it not raising a band's profile (though the inherent shittiness of bands signed as a result of Myspace whoring does prove his point, satirically expressed or not.)

But who gives a fuck anyway? Bring on the new album and destroy our senses once again...