Guys, tell me if I'm out of line here.

Firedwarf

Firedwarf

sock puppet
Oct 14, 2002
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Michigan
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This is going to be one of those "is my anger justified?" things. Just so you know.

I went to my first hour class yesterday and asked my friend (we'll call her "-") if she wanted to see if we could grab tickets for Lord of the Rings later in the week.

She says "my brother already got some, man."

I say "oh.. damn." (assuming she had plans with her brother)

She says "he has five tickets, though. One for him and one for his girlfriend and I can call and ask if we can go."

I say "okay! WOO!"

The rest of the school day I was fucking GIDDY, okay? GIDDY.

Even though I knew that there was a good chance that we wouldn't go. I was still giddy. I made it very clear that I was excited to see Return of the King.

Throughout the school day she said a few times "we might go see LOTR wooo!!"

Wooo!!

I come home and as an away message put "hey -, let me know what's going on with LOTR please!"

No message. No phone call.

I begin to get really upset that she hasn't bothered to call me. 9:30 rolls around and there's no word from her. I assume we're not going.

We're BOTH online at the same time and she doesn't bother to IM me and explain what happened. She signs off at 9:40ish without telling me anything.

I'm pretty upset, but this is commonplace among friends, I guess. Not calling due to whatever reason, blah blah.

Usually it's followed with an apology or an explanation.

Nope! She came into first hour and didn't say a word to me. I was still upset but figured she'd say SOMETHING to me. She didn't say one word to me.

I told my friend about it and we went to class.

Lunch rolls around and I'm in the bagel line. I see - talking to my other friend Natalie. - leaves so I go over there and ask Natalie if she said anything about Lord of the Rings last night. Natalie said "yeah.. she said her brother wanted the tickets for his friends so she couldn't go. She didn't tell you?" I said "FUCK NO she didn't tell me!" I was pretty mad.

So - comes back and sits down right next to me and doesn't say a goddamn word to me the entire lunch period. She didn't bother telling me what she told Natalie ten minutes ago.

And this really made me mad. Her friend said to her "Hey, did you see LOTR yet?" and she said "no, wanna go today?"

When I was right.. next to her. That's mean, guys. That really hurt my fucking feelings.

I went around asking my friends "is it okay if I'm mad about this? because I am."

I came home and went out with my friend. I came back and saw her online.

This is the conversation.

me: dude, why didn't you let me know what was going on yesterday?
-: i'm sorry i forgot
-: my brother brought his friends so i didn't get to go
me: yeah but.. uh, couldn't you have told me?
me: I was sitting here like a dumbass waiting to hear from you.
-: i'm sorry
-: you could have called
-: i forgot
me: I could have, but I don't think it's unreasonable to like
me: expect
me: to know
me: what's going on.
-: okay
-: sorry
- signed off at 6:36:01 PM.

Do you guys think I'm being out of line? I've been nothing but a great friend and now sh..

ugh. I've suddenly become too enervated to talk about this anymore.

I just don't know what to do. SDFLJSKD

And sorry I know this isn't the place for this but I need input. SORRY.
 
(figured I might as well post the rest of it)


m I don't want to be mad at you or anything.
m okay?
- i'd hope not!
m but what happened?
- what do you mean what happened?
m dude,.. why didn't you call? or at least explain to me what happened today? I feel shafted.
m you didn't even mention it.
- i told you
- i forgot
- simple as that
- sorry
- i came home
- i wanted to go
- andy had already told jeff, matt, and chris they could go
- so i didn't get to.
- so i went to bed
- forgot
- sorry
- and i apologized
- so um
- yeah.
m dude I don't even care about the movie. I'm just upset that you didn't bother to call. and I don't think
m and not to sound like a bitch
m and not to make this into a huge thing
- yeah you are dude
m did you really just forget?
m I know I a.
m I know I am.
- ytweah
- what do you think?
- i'm gonan ditch you and just not tell you?
m I don't know! that's why I'm asking. this never happened to me before.
- i didn't get to go either dude
m I don't CARE about the movie, dude. I'm upset that you didn't even say anything to me about it today until I asked!
- i thought you ewre ignoring me today
m people have forgotten to call and blah blah but usually it's followed with "hey this is what happened and sorry." and you forgot? I put it in my away message to let me know wha twas going on. I thought there was a good chance you would see that. :-(
- alright dude
m I was upset that you weren't even bothering to tell me what the hell happened. It hought you'd say "hey this is what happened and lbah blah."
- i'm done saying everything sorrrrrry i hurt you
m like you told natalie and then sat down ten minutes later and didn't say a word to me.
m this is so retarded, dude.
- no shit
- so again
- sorry.
- not lying
- not being a bitch
- sorrryyyyyy
- signed off at 7:32:23 PM.


A friend once said to me that a surefire way to see if someone is truly sorry is to see if they try to make you feel better after apologizing. That whole thing seems pretty insincere to me.

And I know you're all thinking "doesn't this kid have friends to talk to about this?"

I do but I need help. This is so frustrating. I don't like being mad at my friends. I hardly ever get mad at my friends.
 
You just need to get over it at this point however insincere the apology seems to be you won't get more out of her. This is a situation where you have to let it go and see how things go from there.
 
you have to discern the difference between "friends" and "being friendly". in your life, shitloads of people will be friendly. where you get into trouble is confusing the two. A friend will get up in the middle of the night to come get you when you're drunk; a friend will bail you out of jail; essentially, a friend will sacrifice their own time and effort on your behalf. A person is lucky in life if they can say they have even a handful of real friends.

this chick seems really self centered and selfish, and you need to keep that in mind when you deal with her. on the other hand, if she has said she's sorry, and you accept the apology, you need to try and let the whole thing drop, even if it is difficult.

1635530.jpg
 
lizard said:
oh man *bangs head on desk* I missed the chance of a lifetime!
Click to expand...
don't worry, firedwarf! I'll take you to the movies, but I doubt we'll actually be watching the film, if you know what I mean.

I'll show you the precious!
 
ah. this happens to the best of us. flakey people are not fun sometimes. it sucks but it's no big deal. just dont make plans with this girl for things you're really psyched about in the future. thus avoiding ditching.
 
maybe you have a different idea of the depth of the friendship than she does. from the exchange you guys had, at least.

i think you should drop it and have dropped it a lot earlier than you did...bugging her and trying to make her feel bad probably did a lot more to hurt your friendship than her forgetting to tell you she'd given away a ticket did. you basically sounded like a chick. emodwarf.

that sounds kind of harsh, but i think it's not far from the truth.
 
yea next time be like "YOUR ASS IS GRASS! SPORTS! ROCK AND ROLL! DRUGS! RAPE! SPORTS!" to make sure you don't sound gay.
 
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