Guys, tell me if I'm out of line here.

[minxnim]

how did i know? heh.

 

[AndICried]

I don't know what to say. My X was kind of like that, and she wasn't a very nice person. Uhm... Sorry I can't help more. I think you're getting a bit too upset/angry/concerned over this though. If she is generally like this, I wouldn't be her friend .

 

[TheNewChupe]

There are approximately ten million bricks in the Empire State Building.

 

[Firedwarf]

Yeah I realize my tone was pretty bad. I dunno, just telling the story doesn't really recreate how bad I felt about the whole thing and how mean she was being to me.

And I think I might have had a different idea of the depth of the friendship, if I think about it. Whatever though. I don't want to think about it much today.

 

[Firedwarf]

Also I feel pretty bad getting so upset about it earlier. The ditching is one thing. I can deal with that. But then acting like you forgot and being cold towards me and giving me some lameass apology is another thing. I didn't our friendship was like that and I know how emo I sound and blahbalbhalbha. okay.

 

[Nut Butter]

I wasn't going to add to this thread 'cause it seems everything's been said but hey, here goes anyway. Though I doubt I'd've actually gone and given her whichever degree you gave her, I would've felt exactly the same. I take some pride in treating people with the basic amount of respect and when I find myself being denied that same thing, I go nuts. If I understand you correctly, you'd've been okay with it all had she apoligised in a manner proportionate to the wrong she'd caused you. But she didn't, did she? She minimized the situation and made you feel like you were overreacting, which you weren't given the circumstances. You were doubly betrayed, once by being forgotten and the other by being denied proper reparation. That is very indicative of the kind of person she is. Ditch the bitch.

CQFD.

 

[xfer]

i think one thing i've learned in my many years on this planet is that one slight or disrespect does not and should not bust a friendship. if you guys were really friends, her forgetting would not drive you apart significantly. your reaction was a more intense step of driving-apartness, but a very strong friendship could even have survived that unscathed.

anyway, i just think you shouldn't think that as soon as someone shows a single facet of not being perfectly nice you ditch them. i had to kind of learn that the hard way over many years. you're probably not always perfectly nice, either.

 

[Nut Butter]

Absolutely, I'm far from perfect, but I'm always the first to admit it and to make my friends feel like I try my best despite my shortcomings.
Once, one of my best buddies tried to fuck my girlfriend while I was in Spain and after the rage passed, I totally forgave him on the basis of his reaction. I knew our friendship depended on whether he apologized or tried to deny or to shift the blame on her. He cried and admitted that he'd hated himself so much for it that he'd pushed it completely out of his mind. I was satisfied. And now I'll never let him forget it (just kidding for that last part!)

 

[Firedwarf]

Totally. The thing that bothered me was that her meanness was something.. like, I don't know. Like I did something to piss her off.

I dunno. Seemed deliberate and like it was done with malice. The being mean, I mean.

Anyway, I decided that I'm going to tell her that I'm sorry for overreacting and even though what she did upset me, it's not worth being angry about. And that I'm sick of having this pissing contest with her and I just want things to go back to normal. Something like that. Good?

(I'm really not used to dealing with situations like these)

 

[FuSoYa]

She probably just reacted like that because she was feeling really guilty and couldn't deal with the guilt appropriately, I say no big deal.

 

[Astral Poetry]

I hate flakey beople like that. It's so annoying and cruel when they do things like that.

 

[FalseTodd]

The only thing I'd say is that sitting next to her ande not saying anything is kind of passive aggressive on your part. You'd probably be less annoyed with her if you had just brought it up when you first saw her, and not gotten yourself annoyed when she didn't bring it up herself.

My .02 fwiw

 

[Firedwarf]

Yes, yes. All true. I've never actually been a situation like this so I didn't know how to handle it. I want to apologize for being a lameass as soon as I can.

 

[FalseTodd]

Meh, it happens to everybody.

 

[Firedwarf]

Great news, though. I just tried apologizing to her online but it turns out her brother (who just got back from the military) was on her screen name and we talked about lord of the rings and he called me a baby for almost crying at the ending (he was joking though, he said he almost cried too) so tomorrow I can be like

"hey! I talked to your brother yesterday.." and she'll be like "what?" and I'll say "well I was trying to apologize for being lame and.."

See? This is all working out!

 

[FalseTodd]

Ah! But if she says "Oh, cool." instead of "what?", your plan will be in tatters!

 

[Firedwarf]

Thankfully she said "what! that cock was on my screen name?!"

 

[Novembers Paul]

Maybe if you didn't call her "Dude". This may help.

 

[perfecterror]

she didn't forget, she felt stupid and didnt want to tell you... now she feels even more stupid. just let it go, don't forget about it, but give her a second chance. if she keeps doing this, then you just need to find a new friend.

 

[azal]

also, when on IM...the spelling "dood" is much more endearing.