...so i can seem smart when i next talk to them. I will give you all the facts and you will post your opinions. Capiche?
I live with a couple of guys and a girl who I will call L. L's boyfriend, D, essentially lives with us as well. I think he's spent one or fewer nights away from our apartment in the past year.
D is cool and fun and we enjoy having him around. In addition, L and D are perfect for each other.
D is in a band with three other guys. The band's profits pay for their rent. The drummer gets a check every month to pay half the rent on the apartment he shares with his girlfriend, and the other three--D included--share an apartment paid for entirely by band profits.
But a few months ago, the band began making too much money, and the three were evicted from their low-income housing and had to find a new apartment. They had to look fast, and found an affordable two-bedroom apartment without much of a common room to speak of. D's got a mattress in one of the large bedrooms, but he's never used it, and it's essentially the guitarist's bedroom.
Now. L is becoming conscious of the fact that the band considers D to be living with her. She found out his name is not on the mailbox there, and the guitarist is bitching about hopefully soon getting rid of "that damn mattress in my room". D's offered to give L rent before, but she made it clear that she does not want to be in a "living with" situation, where money and bills can fuck a relationship up and a person has nowhere to go to when they want to have their own space.
D has nowhere to go--his band basically squeezed him out of the apartment when they found one, assuming (without his consent) that he was officially living with L. L wants him around, for sure, but wants him to have his own place to keep up the fiction of living apart--which I think is understandable.
What can she do? Is it overly spiteful to insist, as I suggested, that now that they're not being pressed by eviction, the band find a new three-bedroom apartment, and move AGAIN? Solely because she wants there to be a room that D's never going to sleep in? The common room is about ten by five, so that's not an option for D. And, she has to be careful not to seem like the typical hated band girlfriend; she also doesn't want to cause friction between him and his bandmates. Her idea was to tell him he had to sleep at his apartment every now and then, but I think that just spites everyone--she doesn't get to have him around, he doesn't get to be around her, his roommates are pissed that they have to haul out a mattress and make room for him...
Advice?
I live with a couple of guys and a girl who I will call L. L's boyfriend, D, essentially lives with us as well. I think he's spent one or fewer nights away from our apartment in the past year.
D is cool and fun and we enjoy having him around. In addition, L and D are perfect for each other.
D is in a band with three other guys. The band's profits pay for their rent. The drummer gets a check every month to pay half the rent on the apartment he shares with his girlfriend, and the other three--D included--share an apartment paid for entirely by band profits.
But a few months ago, the band began making too much money, and the three were evicted from their low-income housing and had to find a new apartment. They had to look fast, and found an affordable two-bedroom apartment without much of a common room to speak of. D's got a mattress in one of the large bedrooms, but he's never used it, and it's essentially the guitarist's bedroom.
Now. L is becoming conscious of the fact that the band considers D to be living with her. She found out his name is not on the mailbox there, and the guitarist is bitching about hopefully soon getting rid of "that damn mattress in my room". D's offered to give L rent before, but she made it clear that she does not want to be in a "living with" situation, where money and bills can fuck a relationship up and a person has nowhere to go to when they want to have their own space.
D has nowhere to go--his band basically squeezed him out of the apartment when they found one, assuming (without his consent) that he was officially living with L. L wants him around, for sure, but wants him to have his own place to keep up the fiction of living apart--which I think is understandable.
What can she do? Is it overly spiteful to insist, as I suggested, that now that they're not being pressed by eviction, the band find a new three-bedroom apartment, and move AGAIN? Solely because she wants there to be a room that D's never going to sleep in? The common room is about ten by five, so that's not an option for D. And, she has to be careful not to seem like the typical hated band girlfriend; she also doesn't want to cause friction between him and his bandmates. Her idea was to tell him he had to sleep at his apartment every now and then, but I think that just spites everyone--she doesn't get to have him around, he doesn't get to be around her, his roommates are pissed that they have to haul out a mattress and make room for him...
Advice?
