Hipster Metal and Other Musings

[TheMick]

I got some issues. I bought the April 2016 issue of Decibel magazine since it had Fates Warning- Awaken The Guardian in the Hall of Fame. Worth every penny for that alone, but most of the rest of the magazine was filled with hipster metal and odd genre cross -pollination. You know, shoegazer black metal bands, doom metal bands that release vinyl only, more bands in corpse paint, ads for new band albums that state they are the most extreme and the most evil. Writers trying to be funny in regards to the hipster bands they like. Tech metal bands with whiney sounding hardcore type singers writing about some made up nonsensical sci-fi horse shit. Not one mention of Dokken so I used all remaining pages besides the HOF for toilet paper. A bit course but I had to take a stand against this odd influx of bad music spewed forth by the evil empire known as Decibel magazine.

 

[Jimmy... Dead.]

 

[TheMick]

I'm trying bro. I really am. Funny. You like Decibel magazine?

 

[The Ozzman]

Relevant but also a good tune!

 

[TheMick]

Don't get me started on Revolver magazine. Does Don Dokken wear a wig?

 

[TheMick]

Beards, flannel shirts, tight pants. Likes modern Americana bands. Doesn't understand why I like Ratt.

 

[Jimmy... Dead.]

 

[TheMick]

I like Necrophagist. Everyone knows Epitaph rules but all those bands afterwards..... Ugh. They took Meshuggah, Dream Theater and Necrophagist mixed it up and shat out some real pretentious derivetive dog shit. Are you implying you're a fan of Gaahl? I'm not

 

[Phylactery]

I like Necrophagist. Everyone knows Epitaph rules

Thankfully this is a lie.

Also implying that Dream Theater aren't ridiculously pretentious seems silly.

 

[TheMick]

Lol! That's the spirit Phyl !!

 

[The Ozzman]

Epitaph is an awesome album

 

[TheMick]

I played a show with my band. The headliner local band also on the bill sounded exactly like Kings Of Leon. I wanted to tell them to quit plagiarising other bands and tell their fans to wear socks with their tight pants. I refrained from that and instead went outside, smoked a cigarette and bitched to anyone in earshot about my anger. Came home and listened to King Diamonds Fatal Portrait to put me in a better mood before bed time.

 

[TheMick]

The remaining Beatles lineup will thaw the cryogenically frozen deceased members and put a new album out before Necrophagist does. True story.

 

[no country for old wainds]

i'm amazed this idea hasn't occurred to you already but maybe try not reading shitty magazines. you're welcome.

Tech metal bands with whiney sounding hardcore type singers writing about some made up nonsensical sci-fi horse shit.

@HamburgerBoy needs to start reading decibel

 

[HamburgerBoy]

Dream Theater isn't really pretentious. They're pretty goofy and wanky and they know they are, and their albums are often full of in-jokes.

I don't know what the above comment about me is referring to (unless you're acknowledging that Protest the Hero is a metal band and not -core).

 

[CiG]

Is this TheMick guy multi-posting his ass off or has someone got me blocked and actually he's replying to someone?

 

[Satanstoenail]

I was wondering the same thing

 

[TheMick]

I wouldn't block anyone. I only bought Decibel for the Fates Warning HOF interview. The guys in Protest The Hero are great musicians and the singer is actually pretty damn good. I admit that.

 

[CiG]

Not saying you would, saying it looks like you're talking to someone I can't see.

 

[TheMick]

Not saying you would, saying it looks like you're talking to someone I can't see.

Yes, I can see how you might think that. I was kind of thinking out loud on a few posts.