Honkers

Reign in Acai

Reign in Acai

Of Elephant and Man
Jun 25, 2003
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Favela of My Dismay
Are you a honker?!?! If so, then fuck you!! Why do people feel the need to honk at every minor traffic grievance that comes their way? Just 3 minutes ago some elderly honky honked at me for no other reason than that he found my existence on his residential road to be unacceptable. This Wilford Brimley body double toots his horn, which unbeknownst to him, delivers a temporary, yet major blow to my psyche. It fucking enrages me!!!! Same shit happened yesterday at an intersection. I was approaching an intersection in Atwater at 35 m.p.h, seeing that the light had turned yellow, I pumped it to 45mph to make it before red. As I make it to the other side, some ranchero in a wetter wagon toots his campione trambone the second I become parallel with his pinche! FUCK! :mad:

Shit, a year ago I was stuck in dead fucking traffic on Fountain St. in West Hollywood. This behemoth of a dame, who could out wrestle lurch in Greco-Roman freestyle, begins to honk her horn at me all because she felt that I wasn't advancing fast enough on the car in front of me. (There was nowhere to go!!!) She then begins taking pictures of my license plate with her cellphone, WTF!?!?? So I eventually let the hungry hungry hippo overtake me on the street. This is where I then made my move and tailgated the yeti like Seung Ho Cheung on "Jelly". Scared the bitch out of her clit. Which was probably the first time she seen it in over a decade.


Bah...
 
I honk when someone deliberately cuts me off, which is used to signal "pardon me, kind sir or madam, please look back in anger as I salute thee properly."
 
I don't honk, but I do yell a lot. Especially at the people that can't find their own damn neighborhood and pretend to turn into 3 or 4 different subdivisions before they finally make up their mind. Or the ones that don't notice that the light turned green 5 minutes ago. I usually yell "BIETCH".
 
I've never used my horn, and this is including being sideswiped on the highway by a dump truck and rammed into the wall.
 
I'm tempted to make a parody thread entitled Niggies but god dammit, it just isn't that funny.
 
i honk when some dumbass isnt paying attention to the green lght and we're all just sitting there like morons because apparently talking on a goddamn cell phone or doing makeup is more important than me making the light.
 
anybody ever have the compelling urge to just hit a car when you're driving down the freeway? I had that feeling like no other yesterday. People flying by me and I just wanted to go "KABLAM" right into the side of them
 
Some time ago I was picking up one of my sisters from high school. As you all know high schoolers are perhaps the worst drivers in history. Anyway, I'm making my way down a street that is 25MPH (and usually watched by cops I might add), and I'm going about 30 and this dipshit is riding my tail for no reason on this neighborhood street. Finally, he decides to try and zoom past me but I get enraged and decide to not let him pass, eventually we're both up to 60 (yeah stupid, but blind rage is fun). About 5 seconds later I come to my senses and remember my sister is in the car, so I slow down and they proceed to get in front of me right before a car coming from the other direction around a corner almost hits them. After that I decided to tail and honk at them until they turned away (hopefully to their demise).

That is the only time I remember honking at anyone.
 
Mostly at hacidics. I refuse to believe any of them even have drivers licenses, let alone passed any driving test. Some of the stuff I've witnessed is mind boggling.
 
As a pedestrian, I hate honkers too. I could be just bopping along the road, minding my own business, when someone decides to honk at a passing bit of skirt, or to catch the attention of someone they recognise on the street, or maybe perhaps because they're borderline retarded and loud noises amuse them more than those colour-cycling candle holders. Whatever the reason, the result is always the same - I damn near leap out of my skin with surprise, and my heart goes crazy like Lombardo on a prescription speedball.
 
The other day as I am entering the 57 Freeway Northbound on Diamond Bar Ave, I calmly accelerate to a speed of 65 m.p.h. Slow to some, just right for others. Anyhow, I remain in the right slow lane. Fucking hell, this papacito in a 1986 Datsun beater begins clowning on my exhaust. I in turn, begin to deaccelerate to speeds of 45 mph, which turned it in to a parade route. To conclude with the story, he eventually drove around me and I gave him some stink eye. GO BACK TO Tepuchaulteco puto!


Story dos -
Yesterday I am pulling out of my driveway and this nogoodnik frijole freedom fighter is approaching my backing vehicle at high speeds. Any man or woman with a sense of decency would come to a halt to allow for the person to back up, throw it in drive, and turn out of their way. Nope, this cunt tries to squeeze in to the small amount of space left between my car and the curb. I had no choice but to reverse at half the distance, cutting off his route in the process. We then exchanged glances and went our seperate ways. Myself to the hills, he to go rob the intelligentsia.
 
one time i was with my brother, and this guy cut him off REALLY bad. my brother got pretty pissed off and punched his horn. well, he punched it so hard that it got stuck. so basically we're stuck in traffic that is not moving on a bridge with this guy right in front of us totally freaking out because my brother couldn't turn off his horn. it was fucking hilarious.
 
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