How should this sound?

Domson as TIOBS

Pessimist in Perfecton
Jul 20, 2002
144
1
18
38
Germany
www.grove-of-shadows.de.vu
Last week I wrote 7 songs that will probably be on my second album (althoug the first one is not finished yet ;)). But I'm not sure how to accompany them... In general my style is somewhat soft Metal/Alternative Rock stuff with a few piano parts, synth influences etc... I'm gonna post a song here whose sound I'm not sure about, maybe one of you has an idea how it should sound.

Waves
Domson as TIOBS

Sitting on a rock in the ocean of life
A rock that isn’t big enough for two
Standing on a hill in the sea of mankind
The salty water is no longer blue
I’m within the shore but I don’t feel the waves
The sea is drying out, the distance grows
I’m looking down on suppressing nature’s slaves
The part of mine that’s oh so high above
The waves are flat, they’re looking straight forward
And cannot see

And on a rock I start to raise my voice and sing
To create a sunny hour
There’s no land within the splendor of prospering spring
And the salt deprives my power

Lying on a bay at the coast of your life
I’m near the water but not yet inside
Sitting on a sandbank in the flood of world’s mind
The current is trying to rinse away my pride
I look into the shore, but I don’t touch the waves
Water’s high and wild, let me escape
The salty water is this forcing current’s slave
But I still cannot find a route to take
The waves don’t stop and they cannot be tamed
Surrounding me

And on a rock I start to raise my voice and sing
To create a sunny hour
There’s no land within the splendor of prospering spring
And the salt deprives my power

And on an isle I start to raise my voice and scream
To create a friendly hour
There’s no continent within the beams of spring
And the current takes me lower