How to tell a band member that you really dislike something they wrote?

[bryan_kilco]

Hey guys, in a bit of a pickle here.

Our other guitarist showed me something he created and I really just don't enjoy it at all. He is all about using his midi keyboard/synths, etc....which he records and brought the sample to the jam space yesterday.

I wanted to just blurt it out, but I felt bad and I don't want to be an asshole....but I'm here for the metal band, not something that basically sounds like In Flames fucked Evanescance. Techno-y, synth-y crap that I just don't dig at all. Not to mention the riffage that comes in sounds like every other riff the dude writes. =/

Anyone?! I think I'm just going to straight up tell him how I feel. And I won't take part in playing it, as it's really not what I envision in my band. I'd hate to leave the band over it, but .... I'm not stooping to something I absolutely hate just because.

 

[Daemoniac]

"That thing you wrote, it's fucking horrific. It is the equivalent of having my ears raped by chainsaws."

 

[Jaymz]

"THAT my friend....is fucking shite..."

 

[Harry Hughes]

Just tell him you don't like it, but don't be a dick about it.
You say "my band". By this do you mean you're the band leader as such?

 

[Terminus]

Just tell him you don't like it, but don't be a dick about it.
You say "my band". By this do you mean you're the band leader as such?

+1

After you say you're not feeling it and would rather not do it, the onus is then on him to take it either in a good way or a bad way. Which, if it went south, would really be his fault for taking it there.

 

[K Odell]

I battle with this a lot, but the reality is just tell him its not what you guys are looking for. Bc at the end of the day you can't compromise you guys writing ability to make someones ego feel better.

 

[GarethSE]

We had this problem in Slice The Cake too.
Bassist wrote a bunch of stuff I *REALLY* wasn't feeling and simply didn't want to perform on and I told him as such, and for a while there was a lot of back and forth and bitching and moaning, and I feel like it nearly broke us, but we came through.
Just be honest. If there is a member of your band that doesn't dig something, then don't do it.

 

[LeSedna]

Just say it clearly.

With a friend, we were used to say "it's shit", "remove that junk part from there to there, the rest is ok, part from there to there is awesome" etc. We were telling each things how we felt it with no whining, and since we were quite balanced in our success of writing "good" stuff there was no pb between us. It was really easy.

 

[Donovan S.]

Just say it clearly.

With a friend, we were used to say "it's shit", "remove that junk part from there to there, the rest is ok, part from there to there is awesome" etc. We were telling each things how we felt it with no whining, and since we were quite balanced in our success of writing "good" stuff there was no pb between us. It was really easy.

Huge +1 to this. Separate your ego from the music when you are writing. My band just finished writing an EP and when one of us wrote a part that wasn't up to the quality of what we had already written previously, it was taken out immediately. No feelings involved, no-one getting butt hurt that "their" riff didn't make the album.

 

[DullElysium]

Mostly in our band it's like i write a bunch of stuff and then i'll show them to the others. Mostly they're like "not bad" but sometimes our vocalist says more precise comments like "it's good except for the part that went dannannannnaademtteette". And now our vocalist has started doing some ideas for us and i just simply tell where i'd like to improve and he kinda gives me free hands. Or then we sit down and figure out the shit together.

Never had problems with this. Ofcourse it doesn't feel good when you've put so much tume writing stuff and the other guys are like "meh". But being in a band means you have to write stuff that every single person in the band feels good of.

 

[Keregioz]

If in general he writes stuff that it's ok but this particular piece bothers you, just tell him. If you don't really care for the stuff he comes up with in general, then you have a problem. I don't know what are the dynamics in your band, who's the leader etc. but if it's an equal partnership and you don't respect each others work then I believe it's time for you to leave the band.

 

[Lasse Lammert]

That's shite mate, but no hard feelings, still wanna shag your maw

 

[The Unavoidable]

Just make it extremely clear that you are critisizing the MUSIC and not the person. Make sure he understands that

 

[Notuern]

I've never held things like that in.
If i think something sucks, i will just say it right out and explain why, and i expect the same from them when i write something they dont like.. thats how a band should work imo.
Most of the time you can rework the material until everybody likes it though.

 

[Williamn]

Just know the difference between the riff or whatever actual sucking or just being a style you don't like.

If the rest of the band likes the direction the riff is going, then maybe its just time to move on and quit the band

 

[bryan_kilco]

Thanks for the input guys.

When I say "my band", I mean the band that I'm in. I would hate to call myself the leader, but it seems that I am the one spending more time than anyone else actually worrying about the tiny little bits of things/riffs/songs that spice it up and the other guitarist is more like "ehh, that's good enough" kind of attitude.

It's just not what I aim for in a metal band. We are mostly metal/core/death...I dont even know what to call us. If the rest of the guys really enjoy what dudeman is writing, I will have to step down, as hard as it would be....

 

[DullElysium]

Sometimes the stuff grows in you. I mean like you might start to enjoy it. Just give it time. I forgot what i really had to say.. Damn. Oh yeah. Try to find what you do like in the sOng first. If you really dig those parts say they're amazing and then tell him that maybe the rest needs some work.

 

[greyskull]

"mmmmmm no"

 

[drew_drummer]

"Are you trying to make me rape you?"

 

[Scott Horner]

That's shite mate, but no hard feelings, still wanna shag your maw

Hahaha.

I had this problem in my band as well. I just told him that it's ok but it could be better and usually ended up re-writing most of the riff while still trying to keep the essence of his idea. Unless it's complete shit and then me and the entire rest of the band would say so.