I NEED YOUR HELP!

[Corny]

Öh, kannst du das bitte auf deutsch schreiben, was ich verkehrt gemacht hab?


Die Lehrer, die für den Austausch zuständig sind lesen die Bewerbungen und suchen dann welche aus. Und die, die die ausgewählt haben, werden nach Hannover zu den eigentlichen Leuten geschickt, die dafür zuständig sind.

Also einmal die Rechtschreibfehler von oben. Zweitens hört sich der Satz über deine Mutter so an, als ob du ihre Arbeit im Haushalt nicht besonders respektieren würdest, weil du "only" und "some" schreibst.
EDIT: siehe Flo

Den Text von Joe finde ich auch ganz gut, außer die Stelle mit "I have a lot of freedom", weil das vielleicht nicht ganz so gut ankommt. Oder lesen das auch nur die Lehrer?

lol, moonspeak

Wtf?

And I wouldn't say "I have a lot of freedom", because I don't know if the teachers are the only persons who will read the text. The officials might not appreciate it, I don't know.

 

[Undefined]

^It is intended to show that she is a mature and responsible person and that her parents recognize that so she has more liberties.

 

[erni]

What does this sentence mean?


"Being emerged in that environment would vastly improve my english."

 

[Corny]

And btw, here's a good online dictionary, if needed:
http://dict.leo.org/ende?lp=ende&la...n&spellToler=on&search=begr%FC%DFen&relink=on

 

[erni]

@ Flo + Corny: Danke.

 

[Knarfi]

What does this sentence mean?


"Being emerged in that environment would vastly improve my english."

It means your teacher will know you didnt write it yourself

 

[snowy]

^
but teacher and such people do always associate freedom with things like bumming around, being lazy,doin nothing,getting blind drunk everyday,being stoned all day and having partens who don't care

*megapostjump*
FUCK!

 

[erni]

^ :O okay.

 

[Undefined]

What does this sentence mean?


"Being emerged in that environment would vastly improve my english."

It means:

being is a place where everyone speaks english will help my improve my own english (basically says being in Canada will make you speak better english)

 

[Undefined]

It means your teacher will know you didnt write it yourself

^
but teacher and such people do always associate freedom with things bumming around, being lazy,doin nothing,getting blind drunk everyday,being stoned all day and having partens who don't care

*megapostjump*
FUCK!

Wtf are you talking about I think Freedom has a different meaning in Germany. I meant it to mean she is a trusted person so she has more responsibilities and her parents don't worry about her.

EDIT: I caught a typo in that line btw "I am a respobile individual so I have a lot of freedom" should be "I am a responsible individual so I have a lot of freedom"

 

[Corny]

^
but teacher and such people do always associate freedom with things bumming around, being lazy,doin nothing,getting blind drunk everyday,being stoned all day and having partens who don't care

*megapostjump*
FUCK!

Exactly what I meant. Always show that your parents didn't raise you too loose.

@Joe: Germany is still a pretty conservative country, at least many adults (>30)

 

[snowy]

Hahahah yeah German freedom means becoming a dirty bum
No it's just what i experienced.. People don't think ''yeah her parents do trust her!'' but ''what?the child has so much freedom? her parents don't care''

But don't worry, I understood what you wanted to point out and it SHOULD be that way

 

[Undefined]

^I guess there is something lost in translation then DAMN GERMANY! But yeh, find a way to say what I meant in your language that translates good to english.

EDIT: Maybe "I am a resposible individual and my parents trust me very much. They believe in me to make good choices"

 

[erni]

Umm.... this is my text now:





First of all I would like to write something about my course of education:

From first to fourth grade I went to the elementary school. After that I attended the ‘Orientierungsstufe’, a school where teachers decide on which school the pupils should go to. I went to the ‘Gymnasium’, where I still am currently.

I would like to participate in this exchange because I think it would be a great experience to be in a different country for 3 months. I would not only be able to learn about a different culture than my own I also would practice my english which could be very useful in my life, for example for a job.
I believe that Canada is a beautiful nation and that it is interesting to meet new people and communicate with them in a language that is foreign to me.

My father works as an administrative officer. My mother used to work as a doctor’s assistant but at the moment she stays at home and runs our house.

Me any my family go bowling or play minigolf once in a month.
There are no special rules in our family. I can go out to places I like but it depends on certain things. For example, there must somebody I know who will be there, where it is and what type of event it is (a concert, a party, etc).










I changed some words and sentences because I think the teacher would see that I didn't do it by myself.

Is it ok like that?

 

[Corny]

EDIT: Maybe "I am a resposible individual and my parents trust me very much. They believe in me to make good choices"

Hm, that sounds better, but it also sounds a bit like boasting.

 

[Undefined]

Umm.... this is my text now:





First of all I would like to write something about my course of education:

From first to fourth grade I went to the elementary school. After that I attended the ‘Orientierungsstufe’, a school where teachers decide on which school the pupils should go to. I went to the ‘Gymnasium’, where I still am currently.

I would like to participate in this exchange because I think it would be a great experience to be in a different country for 3 months. I would not only be able to learn about a different culture than my own I also would practice my english which could be very useful in my life, for example for a job.
I believe that Canada is a beautiful nation and that it is interesting to meet new people and communicate with them in a language that is foreign to me.

My father works as an administrative officer. My mother used to work as a doctor’s assistant but at the moment she stays at home and runs our house.

Me any my family go bowling or play minigolf once in a month.
There are no special rules in our family. I can go out to places I like but it depends on certain things. For example, there must somebody I know who will be there, where it is and what type of event it is (a concert, a party, etc).










I changed some words and sentences because I think the teacher would see that I didn't do it by myself.

Is it ok like that?

Sounds good to convince the teacher actually Not perfect but in terms of making her think you wrote it, good job. Then ending is a bit abrupt though and doesn't lead anywhere, seems kind of random. I mean the subject changes a lot, from Canada, to your family, to nothing, without much tie-in.

Hm, that sounds better, but it also sounds a bit like boasting.

Fuck, I keep typo-ing that word

 

[snowy]

just leave it out,we know anyhow it's a lie

 

[Undefined]

Whatever, I tried to help

 

[snowy]

I was referring to her attempt to prove that she's mum's darling

 

[erni]

I had to do this btw:

Write a short description of yourself and explain why you wish to participate in this exchange. Add some information about your family and home life e.g. a statement about your family's special interests and activities, their employment, how they spend their free time, family rules and expectations about going out, etc. Write about one A4 page and attach it with a copy of your last school report to your application.