I'm back! But not on my back!

[Crimson Velvet]

I dunno, this kind of humour hurts to read after a while. The funny just dies after the third sentence yet it continues on for a paragraph or two. It's like dragging a joke through the cesspit just to make sure people get it, by which point it's dead and stinks of shit.

1 star.

Yes, it needs that incredible wordplay, like that which I quoted earlier, to be worthwhile over longer periods.

 

[MFJ]

frightening and great!

 

[lizard]

I think susperia is hot but then I like chicks with blue hair also.

 

[Reign in Acai]

Susperia will you blow me if I shave my balls?

 

[Tila Tequila]

So last night I was mowing designs in to my garden of gratification as I hear my dog Namster furiously whimper in the other room. There's been news of a rapist in the West Hollywood area prowling on females for the past several weeks. Needless to say I was startled. I put down my beef curtain cleaver, put on my robe, and headed downstairs to investigate the loud commotion that sounded like someone reading pages out of a hong kong phone book. Tai Cji Phang funh doo! WTF!?!?

I make it in to the living room only to be struck dead at the sight of the love of my life knocking over my manchurian candle stick holders. (Well they're candle stick holders in theory, they are also quite suitable in holding other foot long objects)

As soon as she sees that I have entered the room shes goes off on a tirade.
"If I can't have you, nobody will!!!!" she yelps with a fury that would explode a Kim Jong II Taepodong missile in 35 secs flat.

I ask" Can we please be reasonable about this?" She replies, "Take off your clothes" as she threatens me with a knife that was concealed under her long flowing skirt of sensuality.

I complied with her demands for full frontal nudity, as I let my maroon colored robe hit the floor harder than the dicks that are attached to the people who are reading this paragraph imagining the scene.

We go at it fast and furiously like two hardcore kids during a tae kwan do battle rap. Hair whipping to and fro, we exchanged salivary solutions with the vigor of a fat guy un-notching his belt at white castle. Her fingers piercing my innards like a hong kong dong. Did somebody cue the song "I'll do anything for love, but I won't do that?" Well if so, cut the fucking music!!! My legs were spread wide like a bureaucracy. Having a woman never felt so good. I had never felt this close to another human being before. It was surreal!

So Much Sweat!!!

I licked opussum pie until day light rose over our labia ladened night of proverbial promscuity held in a 1 bed for 2 sexual slaughterhouse of bacon rubbing rambuciousness.

Barbara I know you're reading this, as I sent you the link on your myspace. I just want to say in the most positive fashion.

I FEEL SO VIOLATED!!! XOXOXOXO

 

[dill_the_devil]

LOLOLOLOLOLOOLLLLZZERSSS!!!1!!!1!!!oneoneoneone

Seriously, Tila - stop posting now, you're never gonna top that one.

 

[Crimson Velvet]

Poor Susperia...

 

[lizard]

/\ carecrew

 

[Conspicuously Absent]

hah.

 

[Crimson Velvet]

/\ carecrew

Damnit!

 

[Susperia]

susperia = gross and looks like she sits at home watching anime and bitching about meat-eaters

Right, wrong, and wrong.

 

[Susperia]

Poor Susperia...

That third one made me 'lol'. Heh...


edit: Question for my stalker--- What's up with 'Barbara'? Do I look like a Barbara to you? =/

 

[Reign in Acai]

So Susperia let me get this straight, you're the chick named Barb who has been seeing Tila ?!?!? Are these stories actually true? If so, you're a fucking sociopath.

 

[Susperia]

You've got to be kidding me.

You guys are the ones who are making this up, not me!

 

[Krilons Resa]

So you say.

 

[Susperia]

Fine. I'm not saying anything more.

 

[Krilons Resa]

hahahaha

 

[Conspicuously Absent]

perhaps this means our fine Monster Within has driven away Susperia where all else have failed!

 

[Krilons Resa]

 

[NAD]

I so god damn don't look like that anymore, other than the lesbian car and Kyuss in hand anyhow.