Is it hard growing up in this world today?

[MetalManCPA]

Since I've already grown up (debatable to some), I can only answer this question from afar. Since so many of you are still in the teenage years, or even into the early 20's, I am looking for 1st person responses.

As a parent of an 18 & 16-year old, I struggle every day watching my kids grow up in this world. It seems the issues surrounding kids these days are exponentially worse than when I was a teenager in the 70"s. You seem to get it from all angles - school, environment, and so much fueled by the media. The pressure seems so much worse today - success, money, status, looks, etc. - it seems you are told from every direction how to perform, how to succeed, how to attain the aforementioned.

So many kids depressed these days, so many with social issues.

Am I off point here - am I blind to something I don't see? Or is it really that difficult to grow up in this world?

 

[Opet]

Good question!

I'd like to hear some responses myself. I'm not a parent and one of the major reasons I don't want to be is because I can't imagine trying to teach a child AND HAVE THEM BELIEVE AND UNDERSTAND the things they need to know in the world today.
I can't handle the thought of putting a child in schools of today because of the pressures children are subject to and the things that can happen because of those pressures. I don't know how I would do it without having a nervous breakdown. I don't think I could deal with a child not listening to what I'm telling them and I know they won't because I didn't listen (I heard them, but I didn’t believe they were right) to what they were trying to tell me when I was growing up and things weren't HALF as bad as what I see today. My youngest brother is proof of that.

I don’t know. I was a kid and I know how I thought...I don’t want to try to tame a little beast of my own yet. No way. I’m skaired. I’m fwightened.

 

[Protocol]

Very good topic.



For the record, I won't subject a child to growing up today if I can help it. The only reason Sweden's population is growing is the immigrants - our death rate is greater than our birth rate, so obviously other people have come to this conclusion too. ;D

 

[huevo]

metalmancpa - i appreciate your asking.. not many parents see things the way you do.

i'm 21 now, about to graduate from college. I now have a good idea of who I am and what i'm capable of (i.e., what makes me unique). Obviously, this provides a certain level of contentment and security. but i never had this while i was growing up because i was led to believe that I wasn't good enough for this world. I was more of a quiet/observant person, and no one was there to tell me that was OK (not even my parents, whom I love to death.. but they reacted poorly to my situation). In my late high school years, however, I began to meet people who appreciated my rather esoteric qualities, which was a big help.

That said, the advice I can offer is to look at what makes your children unique and try to nurture whatever those qualities may be. The notion of "domestication of humans" is becoming too dominant these days... we all have unique features that make us who we are, and people are seeing this less and less every day. I'm not trying to tell you how to be a good parent - that's up to you, but all I can say is that stressing individualism can really help to relieve the pressures most kids face today.

 

[OctoberVision]

I think every generation has it's own problems. But the thing of it is, I don't have anything to compare it to. I wasn't around when my parents were growing up, so I can't compare it to the way things are now. I do think you're right when you say that the pressure is worse now. Things are so much more segrigated than they were even 10 years ago..and it's only getting worse. The need to fit in has grown so strong that it's almost completely destroyed the concept of being yourself.

You can choose not to be affected by peer pressure. You can choose to be yourself and not follow the media driven idiots who are going to tell you you're wrong for being yourself. You can choose to live your life the best you can dispite any big social or political issues of the time.

I think things are as difficult as you make them.

 

[HellSpawn]

well about that pressure thing i think that depends very much on wich inviroment u are in.. 'cuz i'm 18 and i dont feel any pressure at all, well with that i mean about how to be and how to look and what to belive ect.
and on the other hand i depends on were u liv.
and the seccond reason for me not fealin any pressure is maybe that iæm not 'main stream', i dare to say that in 'main stream' inviroments there is more pressure on how to be..

 

[The Death]

First, today's world is hard to survive in. Few teachers have already told me that being a student today is a hundred times more difficult than it was "back then". Kids today are under a huge pressure concerning their future.

I can say for myself that i have a strong character (meaning i am not affected by what others think and don't get all depressed for every small shit that happens to me) - one of the very few good things in me, imo. I know how to make my decisions, and i have my own point of view on life. But when i look at others in my surrounding - most of them seem weak. They get depressed over their look, being popular, having a girlfriend/boyfriend, etc. (all of these i consider bullshit, but it is not me you are considering to give birth to, but someone with a character you know nothing of...). Then they kill themselves, or try to, of go into drugs for the wrong reasons (i believe there are right reasons to get into drugs for some people, but that is for another discussion), etc.

And i am only 16, i don't know what these people will do on their 20s.

But in my opinion, life is great. I can't really start explaining this here, but i am fine with life, and i wouldn't kill myself even if i'd be homeless and mimed (or some other bad situation you can think of...).

If i could convay me perspective to your future children, i would have told you to have them (to have children). But i can't. And they can very easly be sorry that you gave birth to them.

So my final suggestion is no - don't bring a child to this world if you wish to spare the suffering from yourself and from him.

This topic can be discussed for decades, but i just think that the chances he'll be able to deal with life in a good way are not too good.

Not to mention he can turn out to be a burden on your life...

 

[The Death]

I think things are as difficult as you make them.

Good, that is a perspective that will (and probably is) helping you a lot in life. I may not agree with it, but it is something you understand and believe in. The problem is that you can never know if your child thinks so as well or force your child to acquire this perspective.

HellSpawn: I feel so as well, that i am not "mainstream" in most ways. I don't think i have a conventional thinking. But most people and newborns do...

 

[RETIREDTrapped]

That is a very good question that you pose to us MetalmanCPA.

I think things are as difficult as you make them.

That point is partly true to some degree, but we are also 'constructed' as people by the discourses that we encounter as we are growing up. If a person never encounters things such as greif or depression, then they will be a different person to someone who HAS encountered these things. You don't 'choose' to be sad or alone, you have no choice in these things, everything around you has a bearing on this.

There is defferent levels of 'difficulty' that come with growing up today. Everything has it's own 'catch22' involved.

- If you are your own person, and you think for yourself, you will not fall prey to the pressures of society. But the catch is that you will be outcast and alone because no-one sees eye to eye with you.

There is alot of pressure towards alcohol and drugs today, and i mean ALOT. In school, i was one of about THREE people that didn't take drugs or drink, and although i was outcast because of this, it was actually a blessing. Through being an outcast, i began to think for myself, and rather than spending my weekends being drunk or stoned, i read alot of books and listened to alot of music, whih i beleive has enhanced my personality and my thought. To tell you the truth, i rarely even went out in high-school.

If you are 'your own person', things will be difficult for you in the beginning, but in the long-run, you will be better off. I have never met one person in my life that has seen eye-to-eye with me in everything, there have been parts of me that others connect with, but then other parts of me they really don't understand. I accept this, as it was my choice to not be 'one of them'.