ITS OFFICIAL: OLD PEOPLE CAN GO SUCK A DICK

[Det Som Engang Var]

my grandparents are actually pretty awesome. i'm pretty sure you just all have failure families.

Two of mine are/were awesome.

This is about other old people. Those mean-mugging cunts. I'm sick of it. The next old bitch that stares at me funny I'm going to walk up to and stare down menacingly.

 

[Altitudes]

I remember working at Safeway as a bagboy, having to help those prunes with their groceries. I'm not saying all of them are bad, just most of them have little to no common sense.

 

[Det Som Engang Var]

I do like me a classy old black gentlemang, though. Maybe it's because this fits the role of my first two guitar teachers but guys like that are ace.

 

[tered]

Old people are just fine. They've got some good stories like when you could do stuff that you can't now, buy stuff you can't get now and overcame stuff the young fucks can't deal with now.

 

[El Stormo]

eh, i just hate it when i'm downstairs watching something and my mom starts talking, loudly and about something completely irrelevant. of course, i hate it when my mom starts talking AT ALL.

My 'in-laws' used to do that all the time. Man, you were trying to watch something and then someone starts chattering about bullshit you're not interested in.

 

[Anvil]

See, my grandfather's heart stopped at the dinner we made for my mom at her place tonight. Something to do with his Blood Pressure going really low causing his heart to stop from lack of blood to the brain. I'm glad I noticed something was wrong, otherwise he would have been dead.

 

[El Stormo]

Damn, is he alright now?

 

[Anvil]

I was at the hospital with him for 3 hours, he's at home now with my parents. They don't know what caused it, but he HAS been really tired lately.

Seriously, I totally thought I was looking death in the face for a while... he stopped breathing for a good 20 seconds, and as I was about to lay him down for resuscitation, he started breathing again

 

[El Stormo]

Geez, must have been scary.

 

[Captain Beard]

Tired you say? Hypothyroidism? Nearly took out my father's heart.

 

[Dead Winter]

My grandmother's 80-something and battling cancer right now...she's doing quite well though. She was always the sweetest woman...but would never stop asking questions...about everything, especially when she hadn't seen you in a while. Sometimes it gets a little annoying but I just have to smile and say, "Yes, I'm doing ok here, Gran." "No Gran, I don't need anything, thanks for asking." "I'll be coming back as soon as I can, Gran."

Old people here, however, are fucking hilarious and AWESOME. They're all around 90 years old, lived through wars in their back yard, and swear a lot. Bestemmia is an Italian way of cursing at God, and they do it constantly. "DIO CANE, PUTTANA MADONNA!!!!" I was in the hardware store the other day and some old coot came in looking for something, and his wife was with him trying to help. Every other word was bestemmia..."PORCO, DIO!!!! STAI ZITTO, FEMMINA!!! TORNA ALLA CUCINA, DIO CAN'!!!" (SHUT UP, WOMAN! GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN!) I was rolling on the ground laughing, as was everyone else.

 

[Kiss The Void]

i hold the opinion that once someone hits 65-70 (sooner with bad behavior) they should just be thrown into a fucking meat grinder and feed to hogs that will later feed kids in 3rd world countries....unless they're those sweet old grandma types that seem to crank out some impossible amount of cookies for all the neighborhood children or if they're one of those old me that sits on the porch with a whiskey flask and whittles wood and tells all the kids who will listen about his crazy days running moonshine and banging floosies in speakeasies and ends every sentence with "ah, those were the days"....they can stay.

 

[El Stormo]

No matter how hot it is outside, old people always wear hats and coats and pullovers.

 

[Det Som Engang Var]

^ @ Kiss The Void

 

[EricT]

Have you seen old people suck dick? It's slow, dry, and boring. I'd prefer them not going to suck any dicks, personally.

 

[Shpongled]

I prefer stupid, incompetant old people to stupid incompetant younger people. Old folks are slower and easier to ignore and get away from.

 

[JenniferGentle]

I don't really find old people half as irritating as a lot of you do. I don't know why. I think old men and women are... kind of cute. I try to have as much patience with them as I can because they've lived through a hell of a lot more than I have, seen much more than I have in my life. I guess it sounds a little corny to say I think younger people should respect their elders, but they've been doing something right if they're still around, so I try to let it go that they drive slow as shit and babble about god knows what.

 

[Shpongled]

But can you deny that the older people get, the more bat shit crazy they become?

I love and respect my grandma to death, but she's got some pretty interesting old person habits, including blatantly interupting the entire family's conversation to tell us the front door isn't locked.

I think a lot of elderly people reach a point where they just don't give a shit about anything anymore and do what they want.

 

[JenniferGentle]

I agree... but still. I don't know. I guess I am weird, defender of the blue heads. Haha.

 

[derek]

I don't buy into the elders thing. People get respect based on how they deserve it, age really doesn't come into it for me. It's based on merit, and said scale of merit being created arbitrarily for and by me.

I like as many old people as I do young people, and the numbers for hating correspond to that also.

I've also been thinking - how come nobody has posted Lemon Party?