Jesus Christ!!! No Really!!

[Towelie]

I had fucking Mormons come to my house today giving me there crap about how I should be mormon and stuff... I almost got my shotgun... but then I remembered... I don't have one. They had their 4 year old kid even dressing up in a suit and tie handing out information. What a fucked up world.

Zack

 

[RogueSpirit]

Grabbing a shotgun seems somewhat drastic don't you think?

Couldn't you have just asked them to leave?

 

[yourdeadgroom]

I have to back Towlie up on this one- shotgun is the way to go!

 

[Towelie]

You don't understand... you have to resort to extreme measures with these people... they don't leave... until they suck your blood... and you are in hell because they won't leave you alone. So in ways... if you don't become Mormon... you do go to hell... because listening to them blabber is worse than any hell i've ever heard of. So I just say find a shotgun and put everyone out of their misery.

 

[bleedingskeptic]

oh man, another religion thread. i wonder how long this one will last? oh well, they are probably the most interesting and hilarious. i guess i'll start with what'd you expect? the whole point of any religion is to spread it and recruit new members. its called a power struggle. you know whats funny though? instead of grabbing shotgun you should've spoken to them in growls. i did that to a jehova's witness that came to my door once and you should've seen his face. it was great.

 

[Towelie]

I really wanted to bring MAYH out and let them listen to When... they'd probably be rejoicing to their savior listening to the nice little acoustic part... but I woulda loved seeing their face when they break into "RED SUN RISING!!!!" hehe... still... you don't put your 4 year old in a suit and have him hand out stuff... i wish i coulda seen you growl at those johovas!!

 

[Lina]

Originally posted by bleedingskeptic
you know whats funny though? instead of grabbing shotgun you should've spoken to them in growls. i did that to a jehova's witness that came to my door once and you should've seen his face. it was great.

that's hysterical. cheers!

i saw some in my neighborhood too as i was driving to work today. i find it amazing that these straight-laced white guys in suits have no qualms about going to the blackest, poorest, most ghetto neighborhoods and knocking on doors. they seriously have no idea that these people answer the door GUN IN HAND. i mean, can you imagine those conversations? the blind leading the blind. in fact -- hey, i suppose they have good luck in the ghetto since the population on average isn't very educated. i laugh my ass off every time i watch them walk around, bible in hand, as hoopties drive by blaring rap. it's so obvious they car-pooled in their church van, dropping these little duos off in "high-risk areas." lol,

 

[Misanthrope]

You should remember to be a polite host at all times....

 

[Xtokalon]

...thinking even further, I'd think maybe I'd get my 12 gauge shotgun (i actually have one) instead. Because it's like positive reinforcement, you mess with one Mormon and pretty soon the entire church will be knocking on my door and frankly I don't have enough bags of tea! And then pretty soon I'd be on their Mormon assasination hit list, and I happen to have this personal fear that one day I'm gonna get assasinated by fundamentalist Christians.

 

[bleedingskeptic]

yes, Xtokalon, that is also a favorite past time of mine, but at that time i had to get to a guitar lesson and wanted him off my porch as quickly as possible.

 

[Towelie]

I told you... putting up with there stuff is worse than hell... but it would just be GREAT to break one of them and make them realize they've been living a lie their whole life!!

 

[musicholic]

I would do what I do to telemarketers {another form of personal battery}... I tell them to wait right there...and then slip out the back door and take a nice refreshing walk... :hotjump:

 

[bleedingskeptic]

you do know that they are paid by how long they stay on the phone, right? you might actually be helping them that way!? hurry! hang up the phone quick!

 

[Jayde]

what's fun is when you answer the door with a dagger in hand and say "can you come back later? We're not done with the virgin."

 

[musicholic]

Its not the poor slobs on the phone I hate...its the company {or religion} they work for...delaying them costs the company money without costing the worker...

 

[MetalManCPA]

That is the sad part about religion - if you read between the lines, religion is supposed to come from within, but then the Jehovah's Witness come by it make it like a K*Mart blue light special.

You have to admit - the kid in the suit is a nice touch, although a little cheesy.

But the shotgun - nah, that would be too easy. The game is to brainwash them.

 

[Demonspell]

Take the second M out of mormon and that perfectly describes what they are.

 

[veil the sky]

I would do what I do to telemarketers {another form of personal battery}... I tell them to wait right there...and then slip out the back door and take a nice refreshing walk...

Not bad, but I think the best thing to do to telemarketers who call to try to sell you something is to try to sell them something back, or tell them you could offer them a better job.

Maybe you should ask Mormon's if they've ever considered letting Satan into their lives and hand them the leaflet you have prepared.

 

[Algol]

I just let my dog answer the door............................................................not even Jesus can save them from a 70 pound Pitbull!

 

[Blackspirit]

Every once in a while I get christians walking up to me and they
start to preach about their God and how good he is...
They say I look like I NEED him since I'm so depressed!!
Every time I can't hide my laughter... I just start laughing and
then say I believe in something else...
Of course then they label me as a satanist, which is all right,
because then they shut their mouths.

One day they came to my house and I decided to look like I was
going to collapse at any minute being so depressed I could
hardly stand on my feet! >P They were like "are you all right?
You neeeed God! God is always with you" etc etc.
After a little while they just got bored cause I didn't care.
Whatever they said I just looked at them >)) Hehe...
Works every time...

I wonder though...that if I walk around smiling;
will they stop bothering me?
Do I look like some satanist who needs to be saved?

What I like about some of these people who hand out flyers
and stuff is that they always tell you to have "a very nice day!".
That always makes me smile and I wish them a nice day as well....
We should all wish eachother a nice day, it helps! )