Jesus Christ!!! No Really!!

[Lina]

My campus is littered with these "saviors." And I always fall for it and stop to talk. I always think they're going to ask me directions or the time! Dammit! Then they gracefully invite me to their bible study class. Ugh.

And a couple days ago I was going into a fast food restaurant, and this homeless guy outside was asking for change. When I didn't give him any, he wished me all kinds of nice things: "May God bless you. Have a nice Thanksgiving. Merry Christmas. Be blessed." yada yada yada. On my way out of the restaurant, I gave him $2 and he GRUNTED. Barely got a thank you. I thought that was kind of funny.

On a related note -- one time at a stoplight these guys were collecting money for their basketball team. And I actually rolled down my window and dropped a dollar in his bucket, for which I got NO thank you. not even an acknowledgement. So I said, "Come back here!" And I reached my hand in that bucket and took my fucking dollar back. Damn, that felt good. Ungrateful bastard.

LOL. I'm the type who ALWAYS brakes to let someone on the road get in front of me, but if they don't wave thanks, I will fucking tailgate the hell out of them. Like, I'm militantly polite.

 

[HoserHellspawn]

Well, as far as the Jehova's Witnesses go, just leaving a blood donor card in your window tends to do it... I haven't seen any around here for the longest time, and I'm a little disappointed. I really want the chance to mock some of them openly.

I should carry around some copies of The Satanic Bible just to counter-offer them to religious sorts.

Actually, what would be really funny (in this scenario, or many others) is to speak to them using only the word "fuck".

"Hi, have you heard the good news?"
"Fuck? Fuck fuck fuck... fuck fuck."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck... uhhh.. ah! Fuck."

 

[Towelie]

I love when people try to tell me that there is proof that Jesus did all these things and that God is the supreme being... I ask... what proof?? They say... the Bible... I then say... how is a text written by people often on drugs that are now illegal proof? The fact is... there is no physical proof... yet they dismiss stuff like the big bang... aliens... as impossible because there's not enough proof... well the proof is mounds more compared to God... etc... and when people say "the proof is in my heart"... I laugh in there face. Oh man... I could talk about this forever!

Zack

 

[Evisceratrix]

hehe i love mormons! they are walking down the road, or riding their bikes. and here i am driving along and OF COURSE you know im rolling down my window and beeping and screaming one of three things-

-HEY SEXY!!!! WOOOO (this one is great for construction workers too . but its especially fun to scream at mormons because they are celebate while on their 'mission.' and i think they all drop their name and go by 'elder' on their mission as well. how weird is that!? and well, i dont know about out there but around here ive seen some HOT mormons.

-BLAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

-RAISE HELL!

ah, screaming at mormons! its the greatest i tell you!

 

[Satori]

Silly primates, hehe.

My overwhelming pity of the religious sorts prevents me from having confrontations with them, the way I see it is this: anyone who is whacked enough to actually try to recruit strangers into their sect is obviously much too far gone to be helped by anything I'd say so it's not worth the effort or time on my part.

When a religion has blinded someone to reality, trying to get them to face reality will not usually work, they've trained themselves to reject common sense so talking to them is absolutely impossible.

I just it's really sad every time I see some Jehovah kids roaming the streets with their nap-sacks and ties in like 30C (which is something like 90F for you poor metric-deprived bastards, hheehe) I wonder to myself, why the hell aren't these kids in school? Their lives are put on hold while they scurry about rounding up new recruits, brainwashed beyond all sensibility, how truly sad. I feel too sorry for them to talk to them, amusing as it is, I also find it rather depressing.

Satori

 

[Hail Eris!]

Yeah, some mormons came to my freinds house once while I was there. We stole there little mormon bikes and threw em in a dumpster. I hope there isn't a hell.

 

[Sympozium]

Originally posted by Hail Eris!
Yeah, some mormons came to my freinds house once while I was there. We stole there little mormon bikes and threw em in a dumpster. I hope there isn't a hell.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Thats would have been some funny shit!

 

[luke]

Ahhh, I feel so much better after reading this thread, and having a little rant of my own.... there's some great ideas here for what to do if they come to your door, but what happens when you see them on the street?
This reminds me of when I was in Malaysia (if I'm starting to sound like a dawdling old man, stop reading) at this cafe where my metal buddies and I would jam out on some satanically heavy riffs and this pack of mormons walk in (another good Muslim country for mor m ons to hang around).
We let them order first, so they would have to pay, and then entertained them with talk about how my buddies had to spell the name of their band backwards for promoting their record because the name of the band was socially sensitive and would otherwise be sensored.
ONe of the fools actually let on that he could play guitar, so we invited him to jam, and when he started strumming off this wanker hymn country western crap we cut it up with Am I Evil.

AM I EVIL? YES I AM