Love v. Compatibility

[Dick Sirloin]

NOT AN EMO THREAD.

I was thinking about this the other day when I was on a long flight and reading that dumb US Airways magazine they leave at every seat. In it was an ad for one of those dating services that takes all your information and tries to find people who are "compatible." In other words, chicks who would have similar relationship goals, career goals, taste in music, method of wiping ass, etc. These ads are all over TV and the internet.

But why do these agencies assume that these things automatically equal love (or STRONG FEELINGS or whatever you want to call it)? I've always found that the girls I've fallen for in life have zero-to-no common interests, didn't like my music, didn't read books or watch sports, didn't do anal.... Whereas I was recently in a relationship where we were completely compatible in all those ways and didn't really love each other (though the sex was great).

What have been your experiences on this subject? Especially would like to hear from those of you who are married or in long-term shitz (<---- lame way of asking dorian to post teh funny).

 

[Demilich]

I'm not gonna say too much 'cause I don't want to offend anyone who may or may not still be posting here, but compatibility is definitely not a very important factor when it comes to love.

 

[Krilons Resa]

Let'er rip Matt!

I spent 4 years in a relationship with a chica who I was extremely compatible with but wasn't much attracted to her and was never "in love" with her. There was no "spark", so to speak....at least on my end.

Sure, compatibility helps A LOT, but what you really need is that special X FACTOR.

 

[einride]

let's just say it really sucks when there is both love, attraction and 95% compatibility but a few fundamental incompatibilities that ruin everything else

i am not happy to admit it -- although i'm sure some of those of you who "know" me (even if it's just how i post on this here forum) would not be surprised -- but i have a real hard time even accepting that some people are different than me and like different things, so i can't say i could imagine myself being happy with a girl who's really into a lot of different things than me, especially not things i dislike, even if it's just music or something stupid like that. i'm working on becoming more tolerant about stuff like that but progress is slow sometimes.

 

[Demilich]

Let'er rip Matt!

I spent 4 years in a relationship with a chica who I was extremely compatible with but wasn't much attracted to her and was never "in love" with her. There was no "spark", so to speak....at least on my end.

Sure, compatibility helps A LOT, but what you really need is that special X FACTOR.

Exactly what I've been realizing lately. Going with a gut feeling seems to have served me right in most aspects of my life in some way, and I gotta start doing it more often. Problem is when the spark is there and then it isn't, even when you can guess at the reasons.

 

[Johanna]

Well I don't think compatible necessary (or even in most cases) means having similar interests at all. But yes, the interests and goals have to work together somehow, otherwise I think it will lead you down misery lane.

 

[lurch70]

going with your gut is the best.
i had numerous love at first sight and very "compatible" relationships that really were disguised as "misery loves company"

if you can picture your s/o sitting with you on a porch when you are 70 ... you're on the right track

 

[Ellestin]

This IS an emo thread

 

[einride]

tl;dr: all human relationships are tedious and unrewarding

 

[Ellestin]

most yeah.

 

[Demilich]

tl;dr: all human relationships are tedious and unrewarding

says the people who have never been in a good one!

 

[Krilons Resa]

yeah -- stupid thing to say

 

[einride]

i was totally serious btw (i always am)

 

[Reign in Acai]

NOT AN EMO THREAD.

I was thinking about this the other day when I was on a long flight and reading that dumb US Airways magazine they leave at every seat. In it was an ad for one of those dating services that takes all your information and tries to find people who are "compatible." In other words, chicks who would have similar relationship goals, career goals, taste in music, method of wiping ass, etc. These ads are all over TV and the internet.

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid12786658001?bctid=26762052001

 

[General Zod]

Been with the wife, all told, nearly 20 years. I'd say we have a very good balance. She genuinely is my best friend. Example... even when I was totally rocking out at HC1, I couldn't help but think about how my wife would have enjoyed it. While she wasn't a Metal fan at all when we met, she's very cool about my music. She likes more of the Prog Metal stuff (Vanden Plas, Riverside, Symphony X). And although she would never queue up Amon Amarth on her iPod, she loves going to the shows. We get along great, barley ever fight, and no how to give each other space.

Marry a chick you actually want to hang with.

Zod