Mark's Maiden Predictions For 2003-4

[Mark]

Hi kids!

Here're my unsolicited predictions for Iron Maiden for the next couple of years. Please note, my crystal ball is hazy, so some details may be a bit out.

- Iron Maiden will release their next album with much fanfare from Sanctuary
- The album will be a disappointment to many fans expecting amazing things from the 3-guitar lineup
- The three guitars will sound like 2 guitars
- Bruce will claim it's the best album they've ever done since 1982 (ie, when he joined), and that Iron Maiden are going to kick everyone's metal ass.
- The release will be met with little interest outside of Maiden's immediate fanbase
- Steve and Bruce will state they intend to tour extensively, including Australia and New Zealand, "where they love to play"
- Bruce will re-iterate this on his 1-day press stop-over in Sydney
- They will perform 1 high-profile gig in London before setting off to play festivals and their own large outdoor shows throughout Europe.
- They will then spend 2 months touring the USA in medium-sized venues, while also claiming to be retaking the USA for Metal, away from MTV-drones.
- Bruce will slag off MTV at every gig
- Bruce will appear at the next year's MTV awards
- Bruce will slag off non-Metal acts like Linkin Park, Limp Bizkit, Weezer etc
- Bruce will appear as a guest on a non-Metal act's video clip
- They will play a setlist comprising of new classics, 3 8-minute + songs, and old standards
- They will play this exact setlist again at the next show
- They will play this exact setlist again at the next show
- They will play this exact setlist again at the next show
- They will play this exact setlist again at the next show
- etc...
- Eventually they will return to the UK (after spending 2 months in the USA, one month in Europe, and 2 weeks in Japan) for 3 sellout shows performing the same setlist they played in London a few months earlier.
- Sanctuary will announce a live album to be recorded at a huge arena-sized show, and that Kevin Shirley will produce
- Steve will speak on how great Kevin is to work with
- Steve will remix everything Kevin does
- Sometime within this period, someone will finally realise that Maiden don't actually intend to tour Australia
- Australian fans, who've spent hundreds of their own money to promote the band due to EMI being slack cunts, will get really really pissed off
- Other fans, who get a Maiden show every tour and don't have to worry about never seeing the band live, claim the Aussie fans are pussy crybabies.
- Rod Smallwood denies there ever being plans for an Australian tour, and doesn't know how the fans ever got that idea
- Steve claims the plans were there, but for some reason Rod never followed through
- Aussie fans don't know what the fuck is going on. But still really really pissed
- The tour ends, with all in the Maiden camp claiming it was a brilliant tour
- Back catalogue is reissued because Maiden change labels in the USA *again*
- After 7 months work, the band go on a 12 month break


....


Oh wait, the crystal ball is back to front - that's actually the 2001-2002 predictions Sorry!

 

[Spiff]

- The band release a CD and DVD of a show recorded 18 months earlier.

 

[Mark]

But that's just silly. What would be the point?

 

[Sydo]

All true.
However you did forget to mention the following very important points.

- Iron Maiden still rocks
- Killers still rocks
- Number Of The Beast still f'king rocks
- Piece Of Mind still f'king rocks
- Powerslave still rocks
- Live After Death still f'king rocks
- Somewhere In Time still rocks
- Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son still f'king rocks

 

[Spiff]

They're not predictions though!

 

[Sydo]

I guess not. How about;
- Iron Maiden will still rock
- Killers will still rock
- Number Of The Beast will still f'king rock
- Piece Of Mind will still f'king rock
- Powerslave will still rock
- Live After Death will still f'king rock
- Somewhere In Time will still rock
- Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son will still f'king rock

Anyhoo.. anyone else think Kevin Shirly should seriously consider dumping Maiden? I'm sure they're paying him a shitload, but at the same time they'd have to be hurting his reputation as a top producer.

 

[Mark]

Well, I think his work on BNW is actually *very* good - it's just that the band didn't use the opportunity like they should have. Here's a guy who's worked with artists of different styles, who knows a shitload about studio work, and what do they do? "Stretch" themselves to recording live (and how many overdubs did they do, hmm?) and have all three guitars play exactly the same parts 90% of the time! DOH!

 

[Southy]

hmmmmmm

 

[Mark]

 

[spawn]

F**K Kevin Shirley!
They need to get Andy Sneap or Roy Z to produce.

And Sydo is right, Maiden can screw up all they like, it doesnt change how amazing the albums are, even BNW is good (though not a great one, but its good enough I think)

And if they record the live album in Brazil, you KNOW ill buy it

 

[Spiff]

They should get Paul Northfield

 

[Southy]

Steve wouldn't get Z to produce, because he would try to get a heavier sound and Steve doesn't want that IMO

 

[Spiff]

I don't know why Steve doesn't just go ahead and make a 70s prog album, seeing as he loves it so much (that's not a bad thing, btw, unless he liked post-"Going For The One", pre-"Drama" Yes).

 

[Hanso]

The only risk Maiden has taken since 1990 is hiring Blaze
Seems like they are really happy just to go through the same motions and keep the money comming in.
I mean so what if they loose a bit of money touring Australia and NZ. They have a shitload of cash from all those safe Europeon shows they do each tour. Why not take a gamble and come here. Wo knows .... they might make more money with a Aussie tour then they do reissueing their back catalog every 6 months

 

[spawn]

Id like Maiden to do a full on concept album, it could be interesting, to say the least, but I dont think Bruce and Steve would ever see eye to eye on any one concept

 

[Spiff]

They did one already.

 

[spawn]

Yeah but despite some AWESOME songs, its the most half assed attempt at a concept album ever

 

[Mark]

 

[TinMan666]

yes.

 

[Tough As Steel]

Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son is their best album IMO.

I dont care if it's a half assed concept album or not. The band have never said it was meant to be a full-on concept album. The press, stated it was so.

Yeah Southy, i agree about Steve not wanting a 'heavy sound'. The strange this is, that they have never come close to being as heavy as they were in the 80's. Steve says his fave album is Piece Of Mind, so why have they never had any albums in the 90's that had a guitar sound as heavy as that? I understand the band dont want to re-hash old stuff, i mean thats why they write new songs yeah? But in terms of sound, I still say Janick has alot to do with it, or rather the absnce of Adrian Smith. NPFTD, FOTD, XF and VXI - i am dissapointed with the guitar sound on all those albums, but when Adrian comes back on BNW, for the most part the guitars sound great.

Mark, it seems safe to say, you have issues with Maiden?