mwahaha

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Tom Brokaw, in drunken celebration of his recent retirement, accosts girl whose eyelids were glued shut while sleeping in an Oktoberfest prank, insisting he is her seeing eye dog and will lead her to "enlightenment", referring to his hotel room
 
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new bride makes chupe happiest man in 5 mile radius. he passes out shortly thereafter, having his greatest fantasy ("beer wench fantasy #42") fulfilled. new bride is repaid in large insurance policy.