My lolnewyears

FretsAflame

Undercover Shredder
Sep 8, 2003
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Funkytown
So I figured I'd share my New Years adventure with everyone now that I'm recovered from it ;)

How is it that one stupid fucking drunk can ruin an otherwise great evening?

So I was invited to some 'semi-formal' at my friends place. Lemme just say, lol. I could've shown up in a polo and jeans. Instead I went with a button down and jeans. If I had put on my stetson I would've looked like I was goin to a rodeo. Anyhow, the intent of the 'semi-formal' dealie was probably two-fold; people who don't look like slobs acting classy playing beer pong and drunk girls in skirts and dresses falling down after too much champagne.

So the whole night was pretty kickin, had a good time. When I showed up, I of course didn't know 90% of the people running around... and neither did the host it turns out (recipe for a nice housewrecking). Case in point why I don't throw parties. At midnight we all crowded around a t.v. to watch the ball drop, and then everyone went back to their primary objective: getting wasted. Still, there were no beligerent drunks about, and everything was pretty cool.


Fast forward to 2am, and people start clearing out. The host goes to pass out, and leaves us to get people the hell out of his house. Well, we managed that... except for this group of 4... 1 drunk boyfriend just asking to be markered, a sober girlfriend, your standard drunk girl, and then... omfg... your completely messed up girl.

So what was this chick's story? Well, no one knew her except for the girlfriend and the other random girl. The people who brought her to the party had driven off drunk and fucking left her there. She started complaining about allergies (lemme tell ya, that was a lie, she was just an attention whore hypocondriac). So her stupid friend went and got her some claritin. GREAT IDEA LEMME TELL YA. This girl just got psycho. My favorite quote of the night from her had to be this; "I'm fucking allergic to dogs! I need to get out of here! Seriously if you just let me lay down with the dogs for like... 5 hours, I mean just lay down for like 8 hours, then I can go home!" Anyhow, I'm trying to explain this whole situation to somebody, cause these people need to leave, and she runs off into the freezing rain in her bare feet and tries to drive off.

Long story short; after that point I dragged her back to the house and stared at her sitting in place till 5:30 a.m. when the cab finally showed up to cart her away. Then I found that someone had thrown my pillow in a fucking beer. Then I went to sleep on a couch. Then another retarded drunk girl woke me up at 6:30 am to ask me where her purse was. Then I woke up at 9 am and waited for the person who double parked me to wake up so I could fucking go home.

Next year I'm staying home. I envy each and every one of you who had a benign new years.
 
I never go to parties like that...I've been to tons of them and there are always fucked up people doing fucked up things and annoying me.

Years ago when I was in Alaska, a friend of mine was a stripper and invited me and my friend to her New Year's party. Well, we were friends with all the strippers because in Alaska, if you're under 21, you can't do anything but go to the strip club...so that's where we went. Let me tell you, after seeing the same people get naked in front of you for a solid year, you start to not even care about it and we kept going there because the strippers were mostly metalheads and would dance to Megadeth, Pantera, old Metallica, Type O, etc. It was the only place we could go to that would play metal...so it wasn't so bad.

Back to the story, the problem with going to a party whose host is a stripper is that there are going to be lots of other strippers and there are things about those strippers that you'd rather not know. Things like drug addicts, drug dealers, scummy friends, etc. But here's the kicker:

After drinking ourselves silly, my friend and I decide to pass out in the living room, and when we wake up, it's just us and her in the living room; we're sitting in the recliners and she's sitting on the couch watching tv. Ok, she was hot, mind you, and her boyfriend was really cool and a friend of ours so it wasn't awkward or anything like that...but we never imagined what was to come next. We wake up and start talking and asking what we missed after we passed out, happy new year, etc., when she takes out her false teeth and puts them in a glass of water on the table next to her. Mind you, this girl was really, really hot. We're staring at her like it's a joke or something, and she says, "You guys didn't know I had false teeth"? We reply, "Oh yeah, don't worry about it..."(yeah right). We look at each other in horror because she didn't have partials or anything like that...SHE HAD *NO* TEETH. NONE. Gums only. Then we kinda laughed about the fact that we knew why her boyfriend stays with her, lol. Apparently, she had a really bad drug addiction (big surprise) and had all of her teeth pulled from doing so much crack earlier in her life...at that point, we realized that these people really were out of our league and we really didn't want to hang out with them anymore. Consequently, we never went to another new year's party thrown by her or her friends. Then of course, she tells us about all the girls who were our friends...ones who were secretly prostitutes, some who were certifiably insane, others who were crackheads, meth heads, drug dealers, etc....and I'm not talking coke or speed dealers...I'm talking crack whores. Boyfriends who were fugitives from the police, hiding out in Anchorage, boyfriends in the mafia, etc. Lots of things that we didn't know and would rather have not known, but were grateful to find out for future warning. We went home the next morning and decided to stay away from that place for a while, lol.
 
lol, crazy story.

yeah it's not that I think I had a crazy night, I just hate drunk bitches, and I never really stay up past 3 in the morning.