News story of the week...

EricT

Don't you ever get...
Aug 25, 2005
11,326
38
48
Lost In Necropolis
http://www.miamiherald.com/news/florida/AP/story/1179234.html

MELBOURNE, Fla. -- A Florida woman was duped into changing diapers and providing care for a man she met through Craigslist who feigned disabilities.

Turns out the man who hired Janet Schulte to look after an adult brother with diminished mental capacity was the same guy she bottle-fed and treated like a child for 3 months.

Schulte says the worst thing is that authorities can't go after the man because he appears not to have committed any crime. Though the man lied, he typically paid the agreed $600 weekly for her services.

Schulte said he never broke character, and on the phone always gave an excuse when she tried to meet his "brother."

She and her husband got suspicious and found the man out after subtle behavior changes and a few late payments.

In second place, also from our most fucked up state (Florida) :

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,538760,00.html?test=latestnews

ODESSA, Fla. — Authorities say a 34-year-old southwest Florida man shot a teenager in an apparent road rage incident and then killed himself.

Pasco Sheriff's deputies say the unidentified driver got angry when a 17-year-old driver did not pull up far enough at a stop sign. The man shot the teen, hitting him twice in the leg. The shooter then turned the gun on himself, killing himself inside his car.

Authorities do not believe the two knew each other before the shooting. The investigation continues. The teen was taken to the hospital. His condition is not known.

:lol:
 
A new candidate appears:

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/crime/article6791242.ece

A man died when he was impaled on a large shard of glass after throwing a woman through the window of a shop in the West End of London early this morning.

The 30-year-old victim was seen arguing with the woman in the Regent Street area of London’s West End shortly after 2am today.

Witnesses told police he hurled the woman against the window of a branch of Banana Republic up to three times. After several blows, the glass shattered and the couple fell through, leaving the man fatally wounded.

Members of the public flagged down a police patrol, which went to the shop at the junction of Regent Street and Great Marlborough Street.

Paramedics also attended but the man was pronounced dead at the scene. A post-mortem examination will take place today.

The woman, also aged 30, who lived in Central London was released from hospital after receiving treatment for multiple cuts.

A Metropolitan Police spokesman said: “Shortly before 2.15am, officers on patrol were informed by a member of the public of an altercation in Great Marlborough Street.

“When officers arrived at Great Marlborough Street, they found a male, believed to have gone through the window of a shop. A woman was also found at the scene, suffering cuts.

“London Ambulance Service attended but the man, aged 30, was pronounced dead at the scene. The woman, also aged 30, was taken to a Central London hospital. Her injuries are not thought to be life-threatening.

“Officers believe they know who the deceased is but await formal identification and next of kin to be informed."
 
I can top all of those with the CRIME OF THE FUCKING CENTURY. From lovely Niagara Falls, NY:

http://www.buffalonews.com/437/story/758630.html

Racks of ribs taken from grill on patio
August 09, 2009, 6:22 AM


NIAGARA FALLS—Neighborhood youngsters are suspected of stealing two racks of ribs from a grill outside a Ninth Street home Thursday afternoon.

Police said that a woman was cooking on the patio of her home between 12:30 and 1 p. m. and left momentarily —enough time for three teens to make off with the ribs, valued at $10. The thieves fled through neighboring yards, police said.
 
I don't have any thoughts on the second story, my natural response was to just laugh my ass off.

This. The mental image was too much.

lololol stealing ribs


Not half as good, but some 90-yr-old ex-Nazi got a life sentence, which was slightly amusing.
 
Here's my favorite of the day:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2009/08/08/national/a001558D30.DTL&tsp=1

Obese Texas inmate hides gun in his flabs of fat


An obese inmate in Texas has been charged after officials learned he had a gun hidden under flabs of his own flesh.




Twenty-five-year-old George Vera was charged with possession of a firearm in a correctional facility after he told a guard at the Harris County Jail about the unloaded 9mm pistol. The Houston Chronicle reported Thursday that Vera was originally arrested on charges of selling illegal copies of compact discs.

The 500-pound man was searched during his arrest and again at a city jail and the county jail, but officers never found the weapon in his rolls of skin. Vera admitted having the gun during a shower break at the county jail.
 
When he was a kid, his parents couldn't afford a picture of jesus, but got one of ronald mcdonald instead, and then it just went downhill from there...
 
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5j4Yro6Ud7UfE0yfLcauWjgYuuWRgD9A0V9Q00
"Wis. girl, 13, charged in fatal stabbing over milk

By DINESH RAMDE (AP) – 17 hours ago

MILWAUKEE — A long-simmering feud between a 13-year-old girl and her step-grandfather erupted after the man allegedly poured her milk down the drain, prompting the girl to fatally stab him in the neck, court documents said.

Labrina T. Brown, who allegedly threatened Robert A. Moon with knives before, told an officer who responded, "I killed him," and said to a neighbor, "I'm not afraid to go to jail for this," according to the criminal complaint against her.

The Milwaukee girl is charged as an adult with first-degree reckless homicide, which carries a maximum penalty of 60 years in prison. At an initial appearance Tuesday in Milwaukee County Children's Court, she was ordered held on $150,000 cash bond.

Her mother and grandmother declined to speak with The Associated Press after the hearing.

Public defender Joy Sherard told the AP that county officials had intervened in the household on several occasions in the past but she declined to elaborate, citing concern for the family's privacy.

"This is about more than spilled milk," she said. "The family would like everyone to know there's a history here."

In their criminal complaint, prosecutors said the confrontation began Saturday after Brown went shopping with her mother and Moon's stepdaughter, Denitra Aldridge, and brought groceries back to the house.

Aldridge and Brown poured bowls of cereal, but when they tried to add milk Moon sarcastically told Brown she could have some only after Aldridge's child was served, authorities said.

Aldridge told investigators Brown responded with a profane outburst, adding "Next time I'm going to bust you."

Prosecutors said the 48-year-old Moon dumped what was left of the milk down the drain and turned his back, taking a glass of milk into the living room, apparently to prepare it for the baby.

"Why the ---- would you do that?" Brown said, according to the complaint.

Aldridge told authorities Brown grabbed a paring knife with a 2- to 3-inch handle from the sink and charged after Moon. Aldridge told investigators she previously had seen Brown threaten Moon with knives but never use them.

Brown knocked the milk out of Moon's hand, and when he turned, she swung at him, according to the complaint. Aldridge said she thought Moon had been punched in the face, but then saw he was covered in blood.

"She stabbed me, she stabbed me in the neck," Moon said, his voice weakening as he collapsed, the complaint said.

Authorities said a neighbor heard a commotion, then saw Brown step outside with blood on her.

"I told you, I stabbed him! I cut his throat! He's dead," Brown told the neighbor, according to the complaint, later adding, "I'm not afraid to go to jail for this."

State law mandates that children older than 10 accused of first-degree intentional or reckless homicide be charged in adult court, said district attorney John Chisholm. He said the case should remain in adult court, although he expected the defense would seek to have the case returned to juvenile court.

"I would oppose that at this stage," Chisholm said.

Although Brown was charged as an adult, she would either be held in a juvenile facility or be segregated from other prisoners in an adult facility, he said.

The Associated Press resumed identifying Brown after Chief Judge Marshall Murray granted the media permission to use her name. Judicial Court Commissioner Kevin Costello had earlier imposed a ban on identifying her, and the AP challenged that decision."
 
This is one fucked up week, haha:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/aug/11/brazil-wallace-souza-police-investigation

A Brazilian politician who fronts a popular television crime show is being investigated for allegedly ordering a series of executions in a bid to boost his ratings.

Wallace Souza, a former police officer who used his lunchtime television slot to rail against the violence sweeping the jungle city of Manaus, is suspected of commissioning at least five murders to prove his claim that the region is awash with violent crime.

"Manaus can no longer live with this wave of crime," Souza, 50, frequently told the audience of his daily show Canal Livre. "Nowadays everyone is killing."

In a 2008 speech at Manaus's local parliament, Souza boasted that Canal Livre enjoyed complete editorial freedom and was conducted with "journalistic responsibility".

But prosecutors in the remote Amazon city say the politician's actions went far beyond the call of journalistic duty, accusing Souza of links to drug trafficking, death squads and organised crime, and possessing illegal arms.

"Our investigations indicate that they went as far as creating facts," Thomaz Augusto Correa, the local police intelligence chief, told a Brazilian news channel. "Crimes were committed in order to create news for the group and for the programme."

Souza was the most voted-for politician in the last elections in the state of Amazonas and is in his third term. But his transformation from politician and TV presenter to suspect began last October when his former security guard Moacir Jorge da Costa, an ex-police officer, was arrested and accused of nine murders. Costa reportedly confessed that at least one of the murders had gone to air on his employer's TV show.

The arrest triggered a police raid on Souza's house that uncovered more than £100,000 as well as an arsenal that included several high-calibre assault rifles. So far nearly 20 people have been arrested in connection with the case, including Souza's son and several senior police officers.

Francisco Balieiro, Souza's lawyer, said that his client denied the charges, blaming them on a political campaign against him. Souza's private secretary, Isabella Siqueira, told the Guardian yesterday that Souza was being targeted because of his involvement with investigations into the smuggling of drugs and weapons into prisons in Manaus.
 
Here's my favorite of the day:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2009/08/08/national/a001558D30.DTL&tsp=1

Obese Texas inmate hides gun in his flabs of fat


An obese inmate in Texas has been charged after officials learned he had a gun hidden under flabs of his own flesh.




Twenty-five-year-old George Vera was charged with possession of a firearm in a correctional facility after he told a guard at the Harris County Jail about the unloaded 9mm pistol. The Houston Chronicle reported Thursday that Vera was originally arrested on charges of selling illegal copies of compact discs.

The 500-pound man was searched during his arrest and again at a city jail and the county jail, but officers never found the weapon in his rolls of skin. Vera admitted having the gun during a shower break at the county jail.

Obesity and firearms, ah the American dream.