Note to self...

[Brett]

Always shave using shaving cream.

I was in a rush this morning and decided to shave without using cream... what a mistake that was. OUCH! My whole face felt like it was on fire after I was done.

The thing is, it didn't start hurting until a few minutes after I was done shaving.

 

[unknown]

*uses an electric razor and water*

 

[metal17]

ouch!poor guy

 

[Guerrilla]

I shave using this

You're all pussies.

 

[unknown]

"You call that a knife? This is a knife!"
"But that's a spoon"
"Apparently you've played Knifey Spoony before"

 

[Brett]

I shave using this

You're all pussies.

Yeah, but I can probably kick your ass... at nintendo (/simpsons)

 

[unknown]

Haha!

 

[Captain Beard]

NoLordy shaves with this:

That is his servant Rarnarg holding it for him.

 

[Guerrilla]

When I feel particularly gory I shove my face in a meat grinder.

 

[Captain Beard]

Wow, I thought only I did that, what do you use for aftershave?

 

[Guerrilla]

Menstrual blood and breast milk.

 

[Captain Beard]

Not bad, I use Christian spinal fluid and a spattering of Pope's blood.

 

[Guerrilla]

Yeah, it's incredible how many uses you can find for the pope.

 

[PlatypusJesus]

"That is his servant Rarnarg holding it for him."

What else does he hold?

 

[Captain Beard]

He's so senile, he doesn't even notice.

Dear sir, he doesn't need tohold that, I have womenservants for that job. He is the Shaverholder and Court Jester.

 

[PlatypusJesus]

Oh, and it looks like Jesus uses a little of the man milk as shaving cream.

 

[Lies and Perfidy]

My accquaintance Phil is very highly Christian, and all that needs to be done to send him into an absolute rage is suggest that Jesus availed himself of male comforts once in a while. That, and remind him of his Arabic heritage (at least one of his parents is Syrian). The only problem is that he'll start hitting you then. He also mocks Jews all the time.

You know, it occurs to me that Phil's really kind of a dick.

 

[PlatypusJesus]

"You know, it occurs to me that Phil's really kind of a dick."

Really....you're just know getting that? It occured to me when you said:

"My accquaintance Phil is very highly Christian"

 

[Lies and Perfidy]

My grandparents are highly Christian too (Catholic, actually), but they're cool and very far from being dicks.

I don't really hang out with Phil much (he's a friend of a friend, except it's more like tool of a friend), so I didn't really think of his dickish qualities until I wrote them out just now.

 

[Chromatose]