Operation "Deprived Swede" is in Effect

[lizard]

Erik: Items procured.

Box is labeled.

Retain utmost security precautions to preclude theft of said items.

That is all, roger and out.

 

[Erik]

roger that, sir

collection area is secured and active. all clear. over

 

[Conspicuously Absent]

just watch out for sneakious bastardous (and I don't mean me).

 

[cthulufhtagn]

operation deprived loser is currently in full effect right here

















nobody understands me but my porn

 

[Nico]

operation deprived loser is currently in full effect right here

This is a global operation, it seems.

 

[NAD]

hahaha

i ate cool ranch doritos yesterday, they were good.

also lizard dude i totally forgot to mail you a copy of that rollins band when i sent out a demo to you, D'OH!

 

[cthulufhtagn]

This is a global operation, it seems.

hahaha, yes we should start a support group...Get Rid Of Slimy girlS

 

[lizard]

hahaha

i ate cool ranch doritos yesterday, they were good.

also lizard dude i totally forgot to mail you a copy of that rollins band when i sent out a demo to you, D'OH!

!!!!!!!!!!
dude you are totally allergic to post offices.

Erik: a small package of value should be coming to you shortly. I mailed it on friday a.m. and they said it should take a week. I hope no fat guy sits on it or something.

 

[lizard]

this has been fun.

first, last thursday, a coworker asked me if I wanted to contribute to Hurricane Katrina relief efforts, and I said, "I'll have to wait....until I know how much it costs to mail Doritos to Sweden."

then when I went to Target to buy them, there were two Doritos delivery guys there so I got the FRESHEST cool ranch and spicer nacho.

Doritos Delivery Guy 1: hey, how are ya. let me get out of your way...
Me: no problem...hey guys, what's on sale...
Doritos Delivery Guy 2: those big bags up on the top...
Me: cool....I've got to mail some Doritos to Sweden.
Doritos Delivery Guy 2: WTF? Sweden doesn't have Doritos?
Doritos Delivery Guy 1: Man, I thought Sweden had one of the highest standards of living in the world!
Me: well, apparently they don't have Doritos!!


and then I had the box taped up and labeled, and I went to the post office:

Me: Hi, I've got to mail this box to Sweden.
Postal Clerk: have you filled out a customs declaration form?
Me: No...*starts scribbling out form*
Postal Clerk: We can send this parcel post for 7$, it will get there in three to five weeks...
Me: That's UNACCEPTABLE!! There is a Swedish guy who needs these Doritos ASAP!!
Postal Clerk: Well, there's air mail, that will be seven days or so...
Me: Thank you, my good man, there is a young Swedish gentleman who will be thanking you anonymously...

 

[NAD]

why do they always offer that 3 to 14 week bullshit when airmail is like 3 days and half the price? stupid!

Doritos Delivery Guy 2: WTF? Sweden doesn't have Doritos?
Doritos Delivery Guy 1: Man, I thought Sweden had one of the highest standards of living in the world!

seriously, anytime you can squeeze in the phrase "standard of living" into everyday conversation, it's been a good day.

 

[lizard]

well airmail cost twice as much but IT WAS WORTH IT.

 

[NAD]

i think i'm all backwards today.

although i'm pretty sure one time i tried to mail something and ... no wait, i remember now. like small puffy envelopes takes 4 to 42978 weeks for $1.20 and then airmail in 2 days 42 minutes is like $1.29. sorta dumb. real dumb.

 

[lizard]

I was filled with righteous indignation that this USPS tool thought weeks was acceptable, when young swedish youth IS GOING WITHOUT.

 

[NAD]

seriously, i mean doesn't sweden have one of the highest standards of living in the world, yet no doritos?

 

[lizard]

The Doritos guys were also speculating about how much money they could make if they started up a black market operation of Doritos.

 

[NAD]

oh man i want in.

dude we could literally make hundreds of dollars!!!

 

[lizard]

I suggest we follow the drug dealer approach...first we give kids at the playgrounds free doritos and then, they'll crave more, and break out into cold sweats and pay EXORBINATE prices for a lunch sized bag of salsa verde flavor....

 

[NAD]

erik, this starts with you. the doritos are on their way, please standby for further instructions.

 

[lizard]

what ever you do...don't let any Finns or Norwegians know about this, until we can fully develop our supply lines to all of Scandinavia.

 

[NAD]

for the time being, there shall be no cross-pollination. sweden is the first test market and depending on how much cash/women we get will determine whether or not m.lehto and henrik main will be able to share in our vast wealth.

today sweden, tomorrow the world!!!