OT: Guys, would you become a father late in life?

[Melisan]

Just saw on Neil Peart's personal page he's about to become a father again. Wonderful news, given he was so hesitant following the death of his wife and daughter in the 90s. He remarried a woman from LA and lives in Santa Monica now and he had mentioned in another site update that he and his wife were talking kids, but after burying one, he was finding the idea of another child very difficult to deal with.

No doubt Neil's wife will be financially secure should he check out earlier than anyone would like. Thing is, he turns 57 in September. His wife, IIRC, is in her early 40s. That means dealing with a teenager when he's in his 70s. Ouch. Guys, would you want to do that? At some point, would you just say no, I'm past the point of fatherhood? Curious to hear what the ladies here think as well.

 

[Hallowed be my name]

Well, I'm 43 and to this point I've had no desire to be a parent. (Still too selfish and juvenile. Don't have the time or the self-discipline to devote my every waking moment to the development of another human being; which is what is required, but rarely achieved). However, not only do I believe I could want to be a parent later in life, but I believe its the ideal time.

Once you've become who you are and gained your maturity and some financial wherewithall, then you're much more prepared to devote yourself to someone else and be responsible for them. I believe that after you've established your "life's work", that's the moment when you'll actually have enough time to give to a child (they require so much more attention and love than the average American family gives them).

I hope we're moving into a new paradigm, where people will be more likely to have families past 50. Hopefully with advancements in genetic medicines, we'll be able to extend the fertility period for women, thus allowing them to have careers when they're young and then rear their children later in life.

The right age to be a parent is probably when you're old enough to be a grandparent. (Haven't you seen how they DOTE on their grandkids?) Just my crazy world-view, but I believe people would be freer in life if they spent their first 40 or 50 years enjoying becoming themselves and then took on the responsibilities of children when they were more emotionally prepared to do it.

Peace

 

[Doodoobubbachuck]

I have just seen someone graduate high school who's parents are mid 70's and early 50's and she is one of the most amazingly balanced, sharp and just an overall great person that I have ever met at age 18. If raising a child is done correctly, which also has to do with the child him/herself too tho, I don't think age really matters.

Yes, you can say it is not fair to the kids that they will be given less time with their parents than other kids who's parents may have started family life much much earlier, but there are no guarantees of how long anybody is here.
Physically I can see it much more difficult to keep up with little kids if you are older, but................I don't know. Pro's and cons galore.

 

[Big Momma Nav]

If you can afford it, and this kid will most likely be richer than all his classmates -- go for it. It's all about whether you can provide and be a good father to your kid, and if you can, more power to ya. My grandfather lived til he was 99, still doing daily walks and being active.

The other flipside, people have kids when they're 16.

n

 

[Melisan]

Well beyond the problem of dealing with kids at an age when you should be dealing with grandchildren, children born to parents over 40 are at higher risk of birth defects, as the Palins found out. So there's that on top of everything else.

I joked with a friend and fellow Rush fan earlier that in a few years, Rush are going to HAVE to tour whether they want to or not. And something tells me Neil might just want to get out of the house for a while.

His site updates make me feel stupid. I learn more in one update than I did in 11 years of living in Marina del Rey.

 

[NeonAngel]

I agree with "Hallowed Be Thy Name", since I am in a similar life situation. I'm also in my 40s, and I do not want to have kids right now either. I'd have to get more set in my own life before I can handle kids. If my circumstances were to change, I'd certainly consider it. After all, my father was 63 when I was born!