I'm a gambler and a drinker but my "hobbies" are only done in my sparetime and does not affect my daily life because i have more will power and self control though i do get the "urge" ... anyways the one thing everyone seems to fail to mention is that your father is your Family as well... and to cut him out of your life would be like cutting a important part of your life that if he dies you will never get another chance to say to him im sorry that i cut you off and i love you... I think you should keep him in your life with boundaries (call or visit only when not drinking, gambling or asking for money that particular day) ... when someone has a "problem" like he has they need their Family more then ever... after all if your child was now grown up wouldnt you be devastated if he/she cut you off? or your wife? .. My own father was a alcoholic years ago and he managed to get sober... once in a blue moon he may have a drink with his dinner or get drunk at a special function like a family member's birthday party etc.. but for the most part he's not a problem drinker anymore though he will always be a "alcoholic".. as they say... but me and my mother never cut him off regardless because he is family and we love him... and even though im not especially close to my father I know that I would always regretted it later if i had cut him off and he died without me being in his life and vice/versa... And though others have told you about there bad experiences with their fathers and alcohol you yourself said your father is not a physical threat like other UM member's fathers... I wouldnt cut him off just because another UM's father beat his wife and kids ... everyone has different experiences and your father isnt like that from what you have told us... just keep him at a distance and welcome him when he is sober and not gambling.. who knows maybe someday that phone call will not be for money but for help to stop his vices and to say that despite my problems I love you son... <shrugs> ...
off topic - a serious question for you guys
- Thread starter tedvanfrehley
- Start date
sixxswine
rockandrollazine.blogspot
UM...
Drinking is a hobbie?! What planet are you from?!
Collecting records is a hobbie, following sports is a hobbie...
Anyway, get one thing clear here. You mention your father is an alcoholic, but not a problem drinker?! That's impossible! You either are or you're not, you can't be "kind of" bisexual or kind of black...
Drinking is a hobbie?! What planet are you from?!
Collecting records is a hobbie, following sports is a hobbie...
Anyway, get one thing clear here. You mention your father is an alcoholic, but not a problem drinker?! That's impossible! You either are or you're not, you can't be "kind of" bisexual or kind of black...
Well,
Thanks again to all who have contributed...here's the latest and greatest:
My dad actually called me tonight (sober) and thanked me for the letter. He said that even though a lot of it was stuff he didn't like reading, he didn't deny any of it. I basically told him that we could try to get along if he wouldn't call/come around when not 100% sober and not talk money. He said that that sounded good and that he would not break the rules any more...So this is good in that it's a step in the right direction and I feel I am doing all I can to "honor my father" and be a good son. BUT he is still gonna keep drinking and still gamble even though he has declared bankruptcy so I know this is nowhere near a "happy ending". It'll be ongoing...but I guess my hope is that by showing him some love he'll come around.
Faith
Hope
Love
That's all we've got...
Thanks again to all who have contributed...here's the latest and greatest:
My dad actually called me tonight (sober) and thanked me for the letter. He said that even though a lot of it was stuff he didn't like reading, he didn't deny any of it. I basically told him that we could try to get along if he wouldn't call/come around when not 100% sober and not talk money. He said that that sounded good and that he would not break the rules any more...So this is good in that it's a step in the right direction and I feel I am doing all I can to "honor my father" and be a good son. BUT he is still gonna keep drinking and still gamble even though he has declared bankruptcy so I know this is nowhere near a "happy ending". It'll be ongoing...but I guess my hope is that by showing him some love he'll come around.
Faith
Hope
Love
That's all we've got...
Igor_Cavalera
Member
That is a step in the right direction Ted.I'm glad that you can have peace in knowing that what you're doing is the right thing to do.
I hope it all works itself out soon.
Bryant
Mr. Sleepy
That is great news Ted. My view may have been a little pessimistic, but just keep in mind that alcohol is a big monster and people can make a serious effort to control it and it works for a while, then slowly things turn back into the same. I am not saying that will happen by any means because each individual is different.... I just want you to be prepared for the monster to raise it's head again because it happens more often than not.
Bryant
Bryant
Bryant,
Yeah...I gotcha. He is still gonna drink and gamble...no question about it. But I guess the hope is that he'll do it without bringing everyone else down with him. I know he won't quit until he wants to...but I gotta find peace too.
Yeah...I gotcha. He is still gonna drink and gamble...no question about it. But I guess the hope is that he'll do it without bringing everyone else down with him. I know he won't quit until he wants to...but I gotta find peace too.
sixxswine said:
I'm not going to argue with u Sixx.. If I want to call it a hobby in my own life in my spare time when I am not working that is my choice... as for my father, I'm guessing you misunderstood what I said or didn't read it through before making your comment. Yes my father is a alcoholic by people's definitions.. he does not drink every day all day .. but he has a drink once in a blue blue blue moon (like once in 4 to 6 months) with his dinner or at a family function... and even if he never drank at all with his dinner or family function society would consider him a alcoholic the rest of his life which he is in my definition also.. is he a problem drinker? i dont think so.. he has one drink with his dinner like i said once in a blue blue moon or at a family function every few months... if that is your definition of a problem drinker (one who has a drink once in like 4 to 6 months) then I guess we are all problem drinkers who have a beer when out with friends or wine with our dinner at a restaurant... I'm not going to dwell on this subject any further.. Ted asked for advice and I gave him mine as well as the other UM's gave theirs.. did not expect to get attacked for it especially from you Sixx.. no reply is needed.. thank you.... Ted.. glad to hear you didn't come him out and hope it all works out for you and your father...
I appreciate all of your input, guys. Each and every one. It helps...Just in case anybody wonders, I have no problem with people drinking, gambling, etc. Whatever floats your boat. I only have a problem with my father drinking. It has gone past his life and is effecting others. That's my definition of a problem...any kind...when it hurts others. His gambling and drinking caused him to lose his wife, his HOUSE, lots of his possessions, and is about to cost him his job...We're talking about a man who made 6 figures just a couple years ago and now could be HOMELESS because of his habits..that's the only reason I am brokenhearted over all this!
But I would never preach to anybody. Dowhatchalike as hip hop clowns Digital Underground once said...but I just wonder how much farther can rock bottom be?!?!?!?
But I would never preach to anybody. Dowhatchalike as hip hop clowns Digital Underground once said...but I just wonder how much farther can rock bottom be?!?!?!?
sixxswine
rockandrollazine.blogspot
Hawk said:/me wipes tears from my eyes.
bite me old man... lets stick to ignoring each other like before...
Hawk said:I just did moron.
then again i forgot its difficult for u to do anything with just gums lining your mouth peabrain... pssst Europe still sux & no there not metal lol ....
sixxswine
rockandrollazine.blogspot
Well, thanks.Hawk said:Man I think its fucking hilarious!
Unfaithful, don't get all bent out of shape.
This didn't turn ugly, it's just an observation
I made. No harm was meant.
sixxswine
rockandrollazine.blogspot
Brother, this is fair warning, knock it off.Unfaithfully Metalhead said:then again i forgot its difficult for u to do anything with just gums lining your mouth peabrain... pssst Europe still sux & no there not metal lol ....
You are biting off more than you can chew...
Don't come off as an arrogant American!
Well me and Hawk are not fond of each other over a band like Europe (never had any reason to dislike him till that day he blew a fit because i disliked the band's music... contrary to belief not everyone must like the same bands he does <shrugs> ).. well that is how it started... but anyways back then I offered for both of us to ignore each other so as to keep the peace and not distrupt Old School the way GMD has become a warzone... but if he wants to make a comment towards me then I am not going to ignore it so in that respects I would say he is more arrogant then me... whatever misunderstandings that occurred on this thread was between me and you sixx and i have no ill feelings towards you and it was my bad.. i guess it was just the way you said it or replied to me... but he should of stayed out of it instead of adding fuel to the fire.. but if he's willing to ignore each other i'll just let it go.. not really worth it and its kind of childish at our age... i rather get back to chatting about music... it was my bad for mentioning anything personal about my life... just thought it would help Ted...
sixxswine
rockandrollazine.blogspot
Chill out & if you'like to ignore me & or Hawk so be it.Unfaithfully Metalhead said:
We like the "family" type atmosphere that this place has.
I think you saw what a certain bone head tried to do a number a
days back... Let's just forget about it. Cool?
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