kevin - you seem really easy-going, intelligent, comfortable with yourself and obviously A LOT of fun to hang out with and you also seem to be genuinely concerned about people, which i think is wonderful to find in a person nowadays.
At this point, your insecurity is the first thing I think of whenever I see your name listed as a the last person posting in a thread. I usually think to myself "I wonder what sort of self deprecating things she's saying now?" and it sucks to see that I'm generally correct in that assumption more often than not. Your recent haircut thread is a shining example. I was going to post in that thread about what I'm saying now but I decided it wouldn't help much because I've already tried so hard to help and encourage you. But since you posted in this thread I guess that means you're at least willing to hear what I have to say.
When I saw your hand covering your face in all those photos I felt like everything I've ever said to you in hopes of helping you better yourself and your issues was for nothing. To be completely honest Laura, there's not much else out there that's more of a turn off than such an explicit lack of self confidence and complete insecurity. YOU ARE NOT AN UGLY PERSON. You're obviously far from supermodel status just like every single other person that posts here and 99.9999 percent of the rest of the world's population. I really think you'd do well to stop worrying so much about how others perceive you and just take what you've got and run with it. I relate to you in this circumstance a lot more than you might realize. I know I'm not a good looking guy by society's standards, but there ain't shit I can do about that. I used to care SO MUCH when I was younger, but eventually it just clicked that that sort of shit doesn't matter in the grand scheme of your life, so might as well make due with what you have. ANd what you have is good. It seriously hurts to see you not believe that. I really wish you try. You'll have to work hard to push the negative thoughts away, but it can be done. I did it. I'm not good looking and I'm happy. I'm not afraid to show my face anywhere because it's my face. It's me. If people don't want to like it, fine. I don't have to like them either. I'm not going to let that deter me from being happy and being myself.
Aside from that, I think you would do well to not be so easily bothered by unsubstantial things, like the crazy bitch that came into your work. You made a whole huge post about how rude she was and how much it affected you, and all the replies were basically encouraging you to lighten up and not let stuff like that bother you. She's the one with issues, not you (at least in this instance). You just happened to be at the right place and the wrong time. She'd have done that to ANYONE working there.
So, in summary, I think you've got it in you to be a totally rad, pretty girl... but you do have work to do (not physical appearance work, that's fine already.. you just need to believe that). It all starts with being happy with who you are and what you have and if that doesn't sound like much to you, just think about how many people have so much less. You really are fortunate. Your post that I quoted here is proof that you can be great if you want to. Maybe you should try your hand at complimenting people more often and see if and how it changes your general interactions with people.
I'd notice right way if you stopped posting. You're integral to this board and it definitely wouldn't be the same without you.
I still want to see the smiling mirror picture