post jokez
- Thread starter Josh Seipp
- Start date
Firedwarf
sock puppet
Ahahaha I discovered this last week or so and have been having lots of fun leaving messages with it. I use this: http://www.sprintrelayonline.com/lizard said:
ahahahahah SAM!!
ps I love Isaac Bashevis Singer
pps tell the joke about the two guys wearing a star of david and a cross
ps I love Isaac Bashevis Singer
pps tell the joke about the two guys wearing a star of david and a cross
inkybmistro
self-surgeon
Baliset
guitar deity
Baliset
guitar deity
lizard
Member
gekko
Much less calm than you
- Sep 14, 2004
- 352
- 0
- 16
Once there were a horse and chick living on a farm. They were the best of friends. They went everywhere togethor. Then one day the horse fell into a swamp at the edge of one of the pastures. He called out to the chick, "Help! I'm stuck and I'm being sucked down!"
The chick immediatly runs to look for the farmer. Unfortunately, no matter where he looks he can't find the farmer. All he can find is the BMW the farmer drives into town on weekends. Suddenly he has an idea. The chick drags some rope into the car, hops into the drivers seat, and carefully maneuvers the car over to the pasture. There he ties the rope to the bumper, tosses the other end to the horse, and drags his friend out of the swamp. The horse is very grateful.
Now as luck would have it a while later the chick manages to trip and fall into the same swamp and he calls out to the horse for help. At first the horse doesn't know what to do. The farmer has taken his car to town for the day. Then he has an idea. He moves carefully to the edge of the swamp and flicks his dick out to the chick, who grabs hold and is pulled from the swamp.
Now this just goes to show you, if you're hung like a horse you don't need a BMW to pick up a chick.
The chick immediatly runs to look for the farmer. Unfortunately, no matter where he looks he can't find the farmer. All he can find is the BMW the farmer drives into town on weekends. Suddenly he has an idea. The chick drags some rope into the car, hops into the drivers seat, and carefully maneuvers the car over to the pasture. There he ties the rope to the bumper, tosses the other end to the horse, and drags his friend out of the swamp. The horse is very grateful.
Now as luck would have it a while later the chick manages to trip and fall into the same swamp and he calls out to the horse for help. At first the horse doesn't know what to do. The farmer has taken his car to town for the day. Then he has an idea. He moves carefully to the edge of the swamp and flicks his dick out to the chick, who grabs hold and is pulled from the swamp.
Now this just goes to show you, if you're hung like a horse you don't need a BMW to pick up a chick.
xfer
I JERK OFF TO ARCTOPUS
Ellis told this one at the wedding. He had to explain who Paula Radcliffe is to the Americans because we had no clue who she was (she's a British runner who dropped out of a race halfway through during the Olympics and took a lot of shit about it).
How is Paula Radcliffe like Hitler?
Neither of them could finish a race.
How is Paula Radcliffe like Hitler?
Neither of them could finish a race.
Draft Dodging Scarecrow
Year of Mao Zedong
what's a black kid getting for christmas?
YOUR BIKE!
sorry to go into the racist jokes, but i am from texas.
YOUR BIKE!
sorry to go into the racist jokes, but i am from texas.
FalseTodd
Skirt Wizard
An American Indian comes back to the Reservation to visit with his parents after spending some time in New York. He says to his father that he's fallen in love with a nice Jewish girl. His father is mortified and says " You're betraying your heritage and you'll break your mother's heart that you're not marrying a nice Indian girl. You know how Jews are, they'll feel the same way and you'll be ostracized in both camps."
The son reassures his father, "Don't worry. They must have already accepted the situation because they have already given their daughter an Indian name." "Really?" says the father. "What name?" The son answers, "Sitting Shiva."
The son reassures his father, "Don't worry. They must have already accepted the situation because they have already given their daughter an Indian name." "Really?" says the father. "What name?" The son answers, "Sitting Shiva."
lizard
Member
JOKE FOR AZAL
Q: Why do Herzegovingian husbands always die before their wives?
A: Because they want to.
*Insert hearty serbian laughter here!*
Q: Why do Herzegovingian husbands always die before their wives?
A: Because they want to.
*Insert hearty serbian laughter here!*
FalseTodd
Skirt Wizard
azal
love is the answer
xfer
I JERK OFF TO ARCTOPUS
my joke is not really either racist or dirty so i'm not taking the blame for the devolution of this thread.
xfer
I JERK OFF TO ARCTOPUS
political humor forwards! from this morning!
On Election Night 2004, the returns showed Kerry 50% , Bush 50%. To
>>> avoid another Supreme Court case, it was decided that there should
>>> be an
>>> ice fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the
>>> final
>>> winner.
>>>
>>> The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week
>>> would win.
>>> After a lot of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the
>>> contest
>>> would take place on a remote and cold lake in Wisconsin. There
>>> were to
>>> be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately
>>> on this remote lake and return daily with their catch for counting
>>> and
>>> verification.
>>>
>>> At the end of the first day, Kerry returns to the starting line
>>> and he has
>>> 10 fish. Soon, W. returns and has zero fish. Well, everyone
>>> assumes he is
>>> just having another bad day or something and hopefully, he will
>>> catch up the next
>>> day. At the end of the 2nd day Kerry comes in with 20 fish and W.
>>> comes in
>>> again with none.
>>>
>>> That evening, Dick Cheney gets together secretly with W. and says,
>>> "I think
>>> Kerry is a lowlife cheatin' son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out
>>> tomorrow and
>>> don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see if he is
>>> cheating
>>> in any way.
>>>
>>> The next night (after Kerry comes back with 50 fish), Cheney says
>>> to Bush,
>>> "Well, what about it, is Kerry cheatin'?"
>>>
>>> "He sure is, Dick, he's cutting holes in the ice."
On Election Night 2004, the returns showed Kerry 50% , Bush 50%. To
>>> avoid another Supreme Court case, it was decided that there should
>>> be an
>>> ice fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the
>>> final
>>> winner.
>>>
>>> The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week
>>> would win.
>>> After a lot of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the
>>> contest
>>> would take place on a remote and cold lake in Wisconsin. There
>>> were to
>>> be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately
>>> on this remote lake and return daily with their catch for counting
>>> and
>>> verification.
>>>
>>> At the end of the first day, Kerry returns to the starting line
>>> and he has
>>> 10 fish. Soon, W. returns and has zero fish. Well, everyone
>>> assumes he is
>>> just having another bad day or something and hopefully, he will
>>> catch up the next
>>> day. At the end of the 2nd day Kerry comes in with 20 fish and W.
>>> comes in
>>> again with none.
>>>
>>> That evening, Dick Cheney gets together secretly with W. and says,
>>> "I think
>>> Kerry is a lowlife cheatin' son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out
>>> tomorrow and
>>> don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see if he is
>>> cheating
>>> in any way.
>>>
>>> The next night (after Kerry comes back with 50 fish), Cheney says
>>> to Bush,
>>> "Well, what about it, is Kerry cheatin'?"
>>>
>>> "He sure is, Dick, he's cutting holes in the ice."
azal
love is the answer
xfer
I JERK OFF TO ARCTOPUS
TheStrugglingStandUp
New Metal Member
Similar threads
