bar jokes hmm...
so a guy is out drinking with his buddy, before long they're doing shots of tequila and falling all over the place. he comes back from the bathroom having puked all over his shirt and says to his friend, "man my wife just bought me this shirt, she's gonna kill me!"
and his friend says, "heres what you do, take a $20 from your wallet and put it in your pocket. when you get home tell your wife that some drunk puked on your shirt and gave you the money for the cleaning bill."
so the guy goes home and tells his wife, "yeh some drunk puked on my shirt, but he gave me $20 for the cleaning bill, here."
and she says, "but there's $40 here."
"yeh, he shit in my pants too!"