Thanks for all the help guys but I fixed the problem. How? Replaced that mother fucker with a standard phantom powered condenser Props to "Musikbörsen" in Sweden for providing such good customer service. They didn't even question me for returning it but immediately tried to find a different mic for me instead. I was sort of more or less settled on an AKG Perception 120 or 200 since my friend has a 100 and it sounds alright and best of all - you can rely on it. But instead, the seller offered me a Supreme CU1 which I had never heard about but he was speaking so highly of it and I warned him that if he is fucking with me, I'll be returning it immediately
So what did I do? I immediately went to my rehearsal room and hooked up the borrowed AKG Perception 100 and the newly bought Supreme CU1 next to each other and just screamed as loud as I could to see if there'd be any distortion. I also tried some "normal" volume vocal stuff, just fooling around. See the thread below for comparison between the two mics!