"Reminds me of something my grandfather used to say to me. He'd look at me, ya know, and he'd say 'I'm going upstairs and fuck your grandma.' He was a really honest man. . . he wasnt gonna bullshit a four year old."
Random/Funny/inspirational/etc quotes thread
- Thread starter Dred
- Start date
HEY!!! You guys stole all my Johnny Depp quotes! 
Anyway, these are my favourite quotes...
"Why don't you try sticking your head up your ass, see if it fits." - Tony Montana: Scarface
"You die, motherfucker! What do you think I am, huh? What do you think I am, fuckin' worm like you?! I told you man, I told you don't fuck with me! I told you no fuckin' kids. No, but you wouldn't listen! Why you stupid fuck, look at you now!" - Tony Montana: Scarface
"I'm Tony Montana! You fuck with me you're fucking with best!" - Tony Montana: Scarface
"Say hello to my little friend!" - Tony Montana: Scarface
"Vanity, definitely my favourite sin." - John Milton: Devil's Advocate
"Never let anyone know what you're thinking." - Don Corleone: The Godfather III
"When you have to shoot, shoot, don't talk!" - Tuco: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
Anyway, these are my favourite quotes..."Why don't you try sticking your head up your ass, see if it fits." - Tony Montana: Scarface
"You die, motherfucker! What do you think I am, huh? What do you think I am, fuckin' worm like you?! I told you man, I told you don't fuck with me! I told you no fuckin' kids. No, but you wouldn't listen! Why you stupid fuck, look at you now!" - Tony Montana: Scarface
"I'm Tony Montana! You fuck with me you're fucking with best!" - Tony Montana: Scarface
"Say hello to my little friend!" - Tony Montana: Scarface
"Vanity, definitely my favourite sin." - John Milton: Devil's Advocate
"Never let anyone know what you're thinking." - Don Corleone: The Godfather III
"When you have to shoot, shoot, don't talk!" - Tuco: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
A few of my favs for the crazy Scotsman.......
Jack Sparrow: Stop blowing holes in my ship!
-Pirates of the Caribbean
Jack: No. Not good. Stop. Not good. What are you doing? You've burned all the food, the shade, the RUM.
Elizabeth: Yes, the rum is gone.
Jack: Why is the rum gone?
Elizabeth: One, because it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. Two, that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire royal navy is out looking for me; do you really think that there is EVEN the slightest chance that they won't see it?
Jack: But why is the rum gone?
-Pirates of the Caribbean
----------
Bill: Soup's on!
Edward: I thought this was shish kabob?
-Edward Scissorhands
----------
Raoul Duke: Bazooko's Circus is what the world would be doing every Saturday night if the Nazis had won the war. This was the Sixth Reich.
-Fear and Loathing...
"We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of uppers, downers, laughers, screamers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon."
-Fear and Loathing
Raoul Duke: A drug person can learn to handle such things as seeing their dead grandmother crawling up their leg with a knife in her teeth. But no one should be asked to deal with this trip
-Fear and Loathing
Jack Sparrow: Stop blowing holes in my ship!
-Pirates of the Caribbean
Jack: No. Not good. Stop. Not good. What are you doing? You've burned all the food, the shade, the RUM.
Elizabeth: Yes, the rum is gone.
Jack: Why is the rum gone?
Elizabeth: One, because it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. Two, that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire royal navy is out looking for me; do you really think that there is EVEN the slightest chance that they won't see it?
Jack: But why is the rum gone?
-Pirates of the Caribbean
----------
Bill: Soup's on!
Edward: I thought this was shish kabob?
-Edward Scissorhands
----------
Raoul Duke: Bazooko's Circus is what the world would be doing every Saturday night if the Nazis had won the war. This was the Sixth Reich.
-Fear and Loathing...
"We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of uppers, downers, laughers, screamers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon."
-Fear and Loathing
Raoul Duke: A drug person can learn to handle such things as seeing their dead grandmother crawling up their leg with a knife in her teeth. But no one should be asked to deal with this trip
-Fear and Loathing
^ Heh... Scarface is my favourite movie. I guess I like the entire script for that movie. What can I say... he has most of the greatest lines in his films...
...I missed one quote...
"Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in." - Michael Corleone: The Godfather III.
...I missed one quote...
"Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in." - Michael Corleone: The Godfather III.
BodomPrincess
bunnies rock my socks
"um... excuse me, I believe you have my stapler.."
- Office Space
I love that movie.
and my friend said the other day "This is the last straw!... and it's NOT made of plastic!" heh... I thought it was hilarious but corny.
- Office Space
I love that movie.
and my friend said the other day "This is the last straw!... and it's NOT made of plastic!" heh... I thought it was hilarious but corny.
Tut Ankh Amon
I See You Masturbate!
"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"
-Guybrush Threepwood, MI 2
-Guybrush Threepwood, MI 2
Malevolence
Heaven's Damnation
Fenrir13
safe in the cornfields
I also like "FOR GREAT JUSTICE!!!" probably one of my favorite battle-cries ever. 
For some reason, one I said the other night had my friend cracking up enough that he wanted to use it on a message board...so what the fuck, i usually don't post my own but now that I look at it....
"All I fuckin' do is smoke guitars, play vodka and drink ciggarettes. I have no life!!!!" I don't know WHAT I was thinking... i suppose that's a sign of "playing' too much alcohol...
And finally:
"I love God. He's my favorite fictional character."-Homer Simpson
For some reason, one I said the other night had my friend cracking up enough that he wanted to use it on a message board...so what the fuck, i usually don't post my own but now that I look at it....
"All I fuckin' do is smoke guitars, play vodka and drink ciggarettes. I have no life!!!!" I don't know WHAT I was thinking...
i suppose that's a sign of "playing' too much alcohol...And finally:
"I love God. He's my favorite fictional character."-Homer Simpson
Tut Ankh Amon
I See You Masturbate!
"VICTORY OR VALHALLA!"
A latin lover's brain when he's almost passing out during a sexual intercourse
A latin lover's brain when he's almost passing out during a sexual intercourse
-Gavin-
Gavornator
-Gavin-
Gavornator
From Super Troopers
"WHAT THE SHIT?!?! Why'd nobody call me"
[In an Irish accent] "I'll believe ya when me shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbet."
"Don't call me radio, unit 91"
"Then don't call me unit 91, radio."
"Are you done?"
"Oh, look, a bar of soap."
"oohoohoh shit. I got you good, you fucker."
"...and that was the second time i got crabs."
"Gimme a liter-a-cola."
"What?"
"A liter-a-cola."
"Just order a large, Farva."
"I don't want a large Farva. I want a god damn liter-a-cola."
"I don't know what that is."
"Liter is French for give me some fucking cola before I break both fucking lips!"
"WHAT THE SHIT?!?! Why'd nobody call me"
[In an Irish accent] "I'll believe ya when me shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbet."
"Don't call me radio, unit 91"
"Then don't call me unit 91, radio."
"Are you done?"
"Oh, look, a bar of soap."
"oohoohoh shit. I got you good, you fucker."
"...and that was the second time i got crabs."
"Gimme a liter-a-cola."
"What?"
"A liter-a-cola."
"Just order a large, Farva."
"I don't want a large Farva. I want a god damn liter-a-cola."
"I don't know what that is."
"Liter is French for give me some fucking cola before I break both fucking lips!"
Profanity
The Post Master
_Zsuzsa_
Dumbo
-Rivfader-
Klingons on Uranus
"If I was on that Real World show, I wouldn't speak I would just go take a shit in the middle of the floor every episode and I will makesure it is when some stupid cunt is yelling at some dumbass poser over something nobody cares about. Then I will return to my room and crank some CoB!"
- My friend John making fun of The Real World
- My friend John making fun of The Real World
-Gavin-
Gavornator
If the grass is greener on the other side, then the guy with the greener grass doesn't think your grass is greener now does he, asshole?
-Maddox
-Maddox