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Reign in Acai

Of Elephant and Man
Jun 25, 2003
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Favela of My Dismay
God knows i'm not a prejudice man. Being a cultured culturalist involves dealing with people from all walks of life. Though at the end of the day, even the most tolerant man isn't blind to the tell tale signs of douchery.


Top Ten Signs a person is worthless just by looking at him.

1. Neck Tattoo
2. They wear knee high socks with jean shorts.
3. While passing them along the sidewalk you greet them, the gesture is not returned.
4. Their skin is a very very dark shade.
5. They sport a wifebeater in public.
6. The rear window of their vehicle is covered in decals the likes of "Get Rich, SoCal, and LA". The cartoon character (I believe it's "Hobbs") pissing on another person or object is also a sure fire sign of douchery.
7. Their wearing no shirt in their myspace page. For females this applies to cleavage and ass crack.
8. They pull in to a mall parking structure blasting metalcore, hip hop, alternative, or some other lame shit a civil person would not blast out of common courtesy.
9. See number #4
10. They use the term "boss" in greeting.
 
29 Random Facts

01.) The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; "7" was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. "UP" indicated the direction of the bubbles.

02.) Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.

03.) Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

04.) The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.

05.) American car horns beep in the tone of F.

06.) No piece of paper can be folded more than 7 times.

07.) Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

08.) 1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.

09.) You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

10.) Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.

11.) The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

12.) The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache

13.) A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.

14.) American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class.

15.) Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

16.) The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA."

17.) Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

18.) The 57 on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once had.

19.) The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

20.) Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

21.) The first owner of the Marlboro company died of lung cancer.

22.) Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

23.) Betsy Ross is the only real person to ever have been the head on a Pez dispenser.

24.) Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

25.) Adolf Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor. (Her doctor was a Jew!)

26.) Marilyn Monroe had six toes.

27.) All U.S. Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn't like being seen wearing them in public.

28.) Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

29.) The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands in jelly
 
Some witchery to metal things up.

Email - I've seen history shows about the Salem witch trials and the accusing girls' hysteria, but the narrative usually ends with the end of the trials. What happened to the accusers later? Did they recant or insist they told the truth? Were the girls shunned, or did people try to forget what had happened?


Answer from Cecil Adams
Let's see — 20 innocent people put to death, including 19 hanged and one crushed under stones. At least four others who died while imprisoned. The seizure of farms, equipment, and livestock from some of the families. Sorry, but you can't blame a lynching like that solely on the kids. A few of the players expressed remorse or otherwise paid a price, and collectively the colonists made a modest attempt to put things right. But if you're asking whether the guilty got their just deserts, e.g., disgrace, etc, the answer for the most part is no.

None of the accusers was tried, punished, or publicly reprimanded. Early in the trials one witness, Mary Warren, tried to back out, suggesting that the accusations were bogus. Her reward was to be sent to prison as a witch herself until she miraculously escaped the devil’s clutches, confessed to her witchery, and was allowed to rejoin her fellow perjurers. Another accuser, Ann Putnam, made a public apology 14 years later — she asked the local parson to read a prepared statement in which she claimed she'd been deluded by Satan. A halfhearted measure, you may say, but none of the other girls did even that much.

One judge, Samuel Sewall, admitted he'd done wrong, but others, such as the presiding justice, deputy governor William Stoughton, remained stubbornly unrepentant. Members of the jury said they’d been unable to "withstand the mysterious delusion of the power of darkness and prince of the air." In other words, the devil made them do it. Though largely uncontrite, parson Samuel Parris, a driving force behind the witch hunt, did receive some punishment when the town, cash-strapped and feeling a little used, decided not to pay his salary. His congregation largely abandoned him, and he was finally paid about 80 pounds (roughly $24,000 now) to get lost.

Restitution was meager and long in coming, especially considering that even those found innocent had to pay their jailers for keeping them in prison. Owing about two shillings sixpence ($37.50) per week, many of those released had to mortgage their farms, borrow money, or sell themselves into indentured servitude. Philip English claimed 1,500 pounds in damages when his property was confiscated by sheriff George Corwin but was denied compensation. English got his revenge in the end, though. When Corwin died in 1697, English seized the body, holding it till the sheriff's family paid him 60 pounds 3 shillings ($18,045). After English himself died, the colony paid his heirs 200 pounds in compensation.

The colony declared January 15, 1697, as a day of fasting to repent the crimes, which I'm sure was a great comfort to the families and friends of the victims. Finally, in 1711 the sum of 578 pounds 12 shillings ($179,580) was allocated to compensate the survivors. The payouts seem a little hit-and-miss: some received 70 pounds and up, others got less than 8. An act pardoning only those witches whose families petitioned on their behalf was sent to the governor in 1710, but for unknown reasons he never signed it. Massachusetts didn't officially clear the names of all the convicted witches until 2001.

Confessions by witchcraft accusers historically have been rare, maybe because they figured they were in too deep or else honestly believed what they’d said. My assistant Bibliophage found just one instance, that of Elizabeth Blanchard of Littleton, Massachusetts. In 1720 she and two other children accused a local woman of tormenting them with witchcraft. No one was arrested, and years later the conscience-stricken Elizabeth came clean.

The Salem witch trials, incidentally, were no isolated incident. In 2004 Prestonpans, Scotland, pardoned 81 witches convicted in the 16th and 17th centuries for everything from allegedly brewing storms to sink King James VI's ship to owning a black cat. None of the descendants received any money, but a plaque was dedicated to the victims — small compensation considering that during Scotland's witch-hunting heyday 2,000 or more innocent people may have been executed.

More recently, Helen Duncan was arrested during World War II after holding a seance where she claimed the spirit of a sailor from HMS Barham told her his ship had been sunk. Problem was, the Barham’s sinking was then still a military secret, and authorities feared Duncan might reveal details about the impending D-Day invasion, presumably also obtained from supernatural sources. She was tried under the Witchcraft Act of 1735 and sentenced to nine months in jail. Although the act was repealed in 1951, the UK has refused to grant Duncan a posthumous pardon. With that ol' devil you never know.
 
I was going to mention that.

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How fucking STUPID!
 
Every place I've lived, it's just been the norm to say "Hello.", nod, something if you're passing somebody walking along. Fucking drives me insane that these nips don't comply with this.

Bro. You will not see that in Los Angeles either. Maybe some of that Hiroshima radiation traveled westward 62 years ago, leaving Angelenos with the same frame of mind.