Small Band bio for myspace - grammatical correction needed;)

[Felix Neumann]

Hi dudes

I had written a small band bio for my band. It would be very cool, if someone of you english or american fellows could look at some errors. I´m sure, there are some. I don´t want, that it is ridicoulus or something

Here we go:



ACT OF RAGE was founded 2004 after a spontaneous telephon call to Johnny Brugger (vocals).
I was the one who needed a singer to complete a song. After a funny "studio session" we began to thought about forming a Band.
Some crappy Bandnames like "Bastard Chor" & "Mendulla Oblongata" were to debate After all we deceided to baptize us with the powerful Bandname ACT OF RAGE! Johnny & I had the luck, that we knew a really excellent drummer, called Maurice Müller alias Monne (Ratsbane, Bang, Bang you are dead). Our common denominator definitivly was our love to Iron Maiden, Slayer & some great Death Metal.
At the first jam session we all 3 had the same Maiden wristband randomly(!) I knew this was a more than good omen haha.

2006 we had our first remarkable success, as the spanish magazine "sangre..e fuego" discovered our band.
Our complete E.P ACT OF RAGE (sold out) was added to all magazine units so that we spread our thrashin..message out.
After years of hanging in the studio, making lot of recording experience etc, the wish to play our stuff also LIVE grew on and on.
2007 we met Robin Mayer, a loyal and true Metal passionate with great guitar skills. He first played the bass, before he deceided to change the instrument (guitars).

But there was still a lack of musicians..we absolutely needed a bass player and a time of despair began. We tried a lot of bass players, but we did not find THE ONE. Finally NOW 2009 we found our "Mr. holy grail", the one who gave us the ability to play live: Angelo Giordano. Thanks a lot, man. Greetz Felix

 

[NickL]

ACT OF RAGE was founded in 2004 after a spontaneous telephone call to Johnny Brugger (vocals).
(I was the one who needed a singer to complete a song)???. After a funny "studio session" we began to think about forming a Band.
Some crappy band names like "Bastard Chor" & "Mendulla Oblongata" were debated. In the end we decided to baptize ourselves with the powerful band name ACT OF RAGE! Johnny & I had the luck of knowing a really excellent drummer named Maurice Müller aka Monne (Ratsbane, Bang, Bang You Are Dead). Our common denominator was definitely our love of Iron Maiden, Slayer, & some great Death Metal.
At the first jam session we all randomly had the same Maiden wristband (!) I knew this was more than a good omen haha.

In 2006 we had our first remarkable success when the Spanish magazine "Sangre..E Fuego" discovered our band.
Our complete E.P., ACT OF RAGE, (sold out) was added to all magazine units so that we could spread our thrashing message.
After years of hanging in the studio, gaining lots of recording experience etc, the wish to also play our stuff LIVE grew on and on.
In 2007 we met Robin Mayer, a loyal and true Metal (passionate)? with great guitar skills. He first played bass before he decided to change instruments (guitars).

But there was still a lack of musicians..we absolutely needed a bass player and a time of despair began. We tried a lot of bass players, but we did not find THE ONE. Finally NOW in 2009 we found our "Mr. holy grail", the one who gave us the ability to play live: Angelo Giordano. Thanks a lot, man.

Greetz, Felix







some of the sentences I wasnt sure of exactly what you meant to say, or were worded strangely so I let then in parenthesis with question marks around them

 

[Felix Neumann]

Hello Broodwich And thank you, very, very fucking much for your time & help!!

Damn!! I knew, this correction had to be done! How much errors I had made?? It´s a shame..haha.

Best wishes,

Felix

 

[-Gavin-]

Tip, talk about yourself in the third person... sounds more pro.

Felix decided to...

And it was decided by XX and Felix that...

 

[-Gavin-]

ACT OF RAGE was founded 2004 after a spontaneous telephone call between Johnny Brugger (vocals) and Felix Neumann (Guitars).
Felix was looking for some vocals to complete a song and shortly after ensued a fun studio session.
After going through a lot of sub par band names like "Bastard Choir"(Chor/Choir?) & "Mendulla Oblongata" it was decided unanimously to baptize the band with the powerful name; ACT OF RAGE!
Soon, thereafter, a mutual friend of Felix and Johnny's called Maurice Müller alias Monne (Ratsbane, Bang, Bang you are dead) was brought into play, the band's common ground had roots in a love for Iron Maiden, Slayer and some great Death Metal.
At the first jam session, the band all appeard wearing the same Iron Maiden wristband, a good omen!

In 2006, Act of Rage had their first remarkable success when the Spanish magazine "sangre..e fuego" discovered the band.
The completed E.P ACT OF RAGE (sold out) was added to all magazine units so that the band could spread their thrashin' message!
After years of hanging in the studio, making lot of recording experience etc, the time to play live felt right for the band and so in 2007 they met Robin Mayer, a loyal and true Metal passionate with great guitar skills.
He first played the bass, before he deceided to change the instrument to guitars.

But there was still a lack of musicians... Despair began to sink in when no suitable bass player could be found. After thorough auditions, no suitable player who felt like "The One" showed up, however, Finally in 2009 the band discovered "Mr. Holy Grail", the one who gave ACT OF RAGE the ability to play live: Angelo Giordano.
-Greetz Felix

 

[NickL]

Hello Broodwich And thank you, very, very fucking much for your time & help!!

Damn!! I knew, this correction had to be done! How much errors I had made?? It´s a shame..haha. I will copy your correction and paste it.

If you want to see your great work, you can visit http://www.myspace.com/actofrage

Best wishes,

Felix

No problem dude. I have girl issues at the moment I need things to keep me occupied bahaha.

 

[Felix Neumann]

ACT OF RAGE was founded 2004 after a spontaneous telephone call between Johnny Brugger (vocals) and Felix Neumann (Guitars).
Felix was looking for some vocals to complete a song and shortly after ensued a fun studio session.
After going through a lot of sub par band names like "Bastard Choir"(Chor/Choir?) & "Mendulla Oblongata" it was decided unanimously to baptize the band with the powerful name; ACT OF RAGE!
Soon, thereafter, a mutual friend of Felix and Johnny's called Maurice Müller alias Monne (Ratsbane, Bang, Bang you are dead) was brought into play, the band's common ground had roots in a love for Iron Maiden, Slayer and some great Death Metal.
At the first jam session, the band all appeard wearing the same Iron Maiden wristband, a good omen!

In 2006, Act of Rage had their first remarkable success when the Spanish magazine "sangre..e fuego" discovered the band.
The completed E.P ACT OF RAGE (sold out) was added to all magazine units so that the band could spread their thrashin' message!
After years of hanging in the studio, making lot of recording experience etc, the time to play live felt right for the band and so in 2007 they met Robin Mayer, a loyal and true Metal passionate with great guitar skills.
He first played the bass, before he deceided to change the instrument to guitars.

But there was still a lack of musicians... Despair began to sink in when no suitable bass player could be found. After thorough auditions, no suitable player who felt like "The One" showed up, however, Finally in 2009 the band discovered "Mr. Holy Grail", the one who gave ACT OF RAGE the ability to play live: Angelo Giordano.
-Greetz Felix

THANK YOU, Gavin This is pure gold! What a great help for me, guys. I appreciate that a lot, Broodwich and Gavin.

Cheers to you

I have girl issues at the moment I need things to keep me occupied bahaha.

Hahaha

 

[Metaltastic]

See, I always found that 3rd-person thing to be really fucking pretentious, especially when it's so obvious that the band wrote the bio. Looks good otherwise Felix, nothing to add!

 

[-Gavin-]

And it looks amateur as fuck if its "and i did this, and i did that!"

Pretentious/Professional over amateur any day dude!

 

[STINNETT]

See, I always found that 3rd-person thing to be really fucking pretentious, especially when it's so obvious that the band wrote the bio. Looks good otherwise Felix, nothing to add!

I agree, but in this case, he can always say that Gavin wrote the bio.

 

[Metaltastic]

And it looks amateur as fuck if its "and i did this, and i did that!"

Pretentious/Professional over amateur any day dude!

Well I prefer to think of it as "honest, humble, and down-to-earth" rather than "amateur," but to each his own

 

[Keregioz]

I think both ways can sound professional if they are done correctly and vise versa. That said, in this particular case I think I prefer Gavin's version.

 

[Felix Neumann]

See, I always found that 3rd-person thing to be really fucking pretentious, especially when it's so obvious that the band wrote the bio. Looks good otherwise Felix, nothing to add!

Hi Marcus

Hmmmm I could give some credits to Gavin. That would solve the problem, I think.

@Gavin, would you mind, if I´d add your name under your text? And really..I think, your contribution should not be unmentioned.

 

[spioraid]

ACT OF RAGE was founded in 1704 after a spontaneous hand written letter to Johnny Brugger (dulcimer).
(I was the one who needed a dulcimer player to complete a song)???. After a funny "oops did we totally hit that person with our carriage?" we began to think about forming a Band.
Some rather impolite and obnoxious band names like "You Fetch the Piss Pot" & "Slavery FTW" were debated. In the end we decided to baptize ourselves with the powerful band name ACT OF RAGE! Johnny & I had the luck of knowing a really excellent violinist named Maurice Müller aka "The Müll" (Mozart, Bach, Rolling Stones, etc). Our common denominator was definitely our love of dress hoops, powdered wigs and the economics and philosophy of a ruling class.
At the first chamber music rehearsal we all randomly had the same red and blue cockade on our waistcoats (!) I knew this was more than a good omen, teehee.

In 1706 we had our first remarkable success when the Spanish Inquisition discovered our band.
Our complete whole first performance, ACT OF RAGE, (sold out) was added to all local newspaper constabularies and editorial tracks so that we could spread our absolutely thrilling message.
After years of hanging other people, gaining lots of experience etc, the wish to also play our stuff for LIVE people grew on and on.
In 1707 we met Robin Mayer, a loyal and true high and mighty twit with great harpsichord skills. He first played Celloforté before he decided to change instruments (haprischord).

But there was still a lack of musicians..we absolutely needed a flutist player and a time of despair, wailing and nashing of teeth began. We tried a lot of flutists, but we did not find THE ONE. Finally NOW in 1709 we found our Monsignour Deo Cuppus, the one who gave us the ability to play to live people: Angelo Giordano. Thanks a lot, you great ol'e chap you.

Greetz, Felix

 

[abyssofdreams]

Who the fuck reads a bio anyways?
I'd prefer this:

ACT OF RAGE was founded in 1704.
We play metal. Period. Now go fuck yourself

Or even shorter:

ACT OF RAGE = METAL.

 

[Felix Neumann]

ACT OF RAGE was founded in 1704 after a spontaneous hand written letter to Johnny Brugger (dulcimer).
(I was the one who needed a dulcimer player to complete a song)???. After a funny "oops did we totally hit that person with our carriage?" we began to think about forming a Band.
Some rather impolite and obnoxious band names like "You Fetch the Piss Pot" & "Slavery FTW" were debated. In the end we decided to baptize ourselves with the powerful band name ACT OF RAGE! Johnny & I had the luck of knowing a really excellent violinist named Maurice Müller aka "The Müller" (Mozart, Bach, Rolling Stones, etc). Our common denominator was definitely our love of dress hoops, powdered wigs and the economics and philosophy of a ruling class.
At the first chamber music rehearsal we all randomly had the same red and blue cockade on our waistcoats (!) I knew this was more than a good omen, teehee.

In 1706 we had our first remarkable success when the Spanish Inquisition discovered our band.
Our complete whole first performance, ACT OF RAGE, (sold out) was added to all local newspaper constabularies and editorial tracks so that we could spread our absolutely thrilling message.
After years of hanging other people, gaining lots of experience etc, the wish to also play our stuff for LIVE people grew on and on.
In 1707 we met Robin Mayer, a loyal and true high and mighty twit with great harpsichord skills. He first played Celloforté before he decided to change instruments (haprischord).

But there was still a lack of musicians..we absolutely needed a flutist player and a time of despair, wailing and nashing of teeth began. We tried a lot of flutists, but we did not find THE ONE. Finally NOW in 1709 we found our Monsignour Deo Cuppus, the one who gave us the ability to play to live people: Angelo Giordano. Thanks a lot, you great ol'e chap you.

Greetz, Felix

Hahahahaha no joke, dude..I will use your text! That´s funny & a good gag

 

[Felix Neumann]

Who the fuck reads a bio anyways?
I'd prefer this:

ACT OF RAGE was founded in 1704.
We play metal. Period. Now go fuck yourself

Or even shorter:

ACT OF RAGE = METAL.

Hahaha ACT OF RAGE = METAL is good, too. But the people, friends, couple of fans asked me some questions and it´s good, when I can refer to a short bio.

 

[Habsburgs]

Spioraid's bio is the best haha

 

[Felix Neumann]

Spioraid's bio is the best haha

I really took it for the bio Thanks Spioraid. It´s THE SHIT !

You can see it here: http://www.myspace.com/actofrage


@spioraid, should I mention your name under the text? That´s good comedy quality.

 

[Metaltastic]

HAhahahahaha, love it Andrew