Soda Popinski

Blessed are the fat.

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New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg was denied a second slice of pizza today at an Italian eatery in Brooklyn.

The owners of Collegno's Pizzeria say they refused to serve him more than one piece to protest Bloomberg's proposed soda ban,which would limit the portions of soda sold in the city.

Bloomberg was having an informal working lunch with city comptroller John Liu at the time and was enraged by the embarrassing prohibition. The owners would not relent, however, and the pair were forced to decamp to another restaurant to finish their meal.

Witnesses say the situation unfolded when as the two were looking over budget documents, they realized they needed more food than originally ordered.

"Hey, could I get another pepperoni over here?" Bloomberg asked owner Antonio Benito.


"I'm sorry sir," he replied, "we can't do that. You've reached your personal slice limit."

Mayor Bloomberg, not accustomed to being challenged, assumed that the owner was joking.

"OK, that's funny," he remarked, "because of the soda thing ... No come on. I'm not kidding. I haven't eaten all morning, just send over another pepperoni."

"I'm sorry sir. We're serious," Benito insisted. "We've decided that eating more than one piece isn't healthy for you, and so we're forbidding you from doing it."

"Look jackass," Bloomberg retorted, his anger boiling, "I fucking skipped breakfast this morning just so I could eat four slices of your pizza. Don't be a schmuck, just get back to the kitchen and bring out some fucking pizza, okay."

"I'm sorry sir, there's nothing I can do," the owner repeated. "Maybe you could go to several restaurants and get one slice at each. At least that way you're walking. You know, burning calories."

Witnesses say a fuming Bloomberg and a bemused Liu did indeed walk down the street to a rival pizzeria , ordered another slice and finished their meeting.

New York's so-called "soda ban" would have limited the size of sweetened beverages served in restaurants to 16 oz (0.5 liters). The plan, backed by Mayor Bloomberg, is currently being held up by a U.S. district court.

Bloomberg has been the mayor of New York City since 2002. Theretofore he was the CEO of Bloomberg LP, the world's leading financial data firm. His personal fortune is estimated at around $27 billion.
 
Paul Inman Dies After Drinking Three Litres Of Coca-Cola A Day

A man who drank three litres of Coca-Cola a day has died from drinking excessive amounts of liquid, a coroner has ruled.

Paul Inman, who had Aspergers syndrome, would leave his care home each day to go out and buy the drink, which he would gulp alongside water.

The huge volume of liquid caused his lungs to swell to four times their natural weight and the 30-year-old died in his sleep, pathologist Dr Deirdre Mckenna was quoted as saying by the Telegraph and Argus.

Although Mr Inman suffered from epilepsy and had to have his cigarettes taken from him so he would not smoke 20 an hour, the pathologist ruled the cause of his death was down to excessive drinking, behaviour motivated by his Aspergers.

His mother said after the inquest: "I've said all this time the cause of it was he drank excessively, absolutely excessively.

"He had done since he was 10 years old. We used to say he had a self-destruct button."

His is not the only death to be linked with an addiction to the drink. A mother-of-eight had a fatal heart attack after drinking up to 10 litres of Coca-Cola a day, an inquest heard in February.

The large quantities of the drink were a “substantial factor” in Natasha Harris’s death, a coroner said.

The 30-year-old New Zealand native, who had a history of ill health, died three years ago.

She was known to have smoked around 30 cigarettes a day, suffered from blood pressure problems and had had her teeth removed because of decay. One or more of her children had been born without tooth enamel, it emerged during the inquest.

Coroner David Crerar said Harris’s addiction to Coca-Cola had given rise to cardiac arrhythmia.
 
hahaha

I know a guy who has had several strokes because he sucks down too much Diet Coke.

You'll notice that "sucks down" remains in the ongoing present, and not a former habit.