Song lyrics...criticisms, comments, flames?

[Lies and Perfidy]

I've been writing a lot of lyrics lately...mostly out of boredom, and the occasional burst of creative inspiration. Figured I'd post at least one song...tell me what you think, post your own lyrics.

We Are the Warriors

Fury dreams and napalm screams set the world alight
Predestined fate of processed hate driven down into nght
Living demons from an earthly hell
Here at last, their shadows cast to block out your sight

They speak the words
We do the deeds
Because we are the warriors

Tides of blood, this mine’s a dud, cast it into the sea
The prophecy’s true, I weep for you and what will never be
Tears touch the crimson, the tide begins to swell
The fight for peace will never cease but the bomb will set us free

They make the deals
We pay the price
Because we are the warriors

Going mad, you’ve been had, there’s nothing left to save
Embers smolder, heroes molder in an anonymous mass grave
Called again to march at the tolling of the bell
Hear the tread of the walking dead, hear the madmen rave...

Saying “We are the warriors.”

 

[a guy...]

Good rhyme scheme.

 

[PlatypusJesus]

I very much agree with a guy... Rhymes all over the place.

 

[azal]

very Manowar

 

[a guy...]

^ that was my second thought.

 

[Imperiled Earth]

Old Savatage meets Manowar ...

 

[Chuut-Riit]

Yey, that is a really TRUE metal songtext
Its cool

 

[Lies and Perfidy]

Thanks, dudes...Manowar. Hmmm. All I need to do now is write some riffs...wait till my rhythm guitarist friend is ungrounded...find a bassist whose parents don't morally disapprove of his musical tastes...find a vocalist who's not an alternative rock dude...find a lead guitarist who knows how to play lead guitar...and then get all four of these dudes together at least once a week.

Ah, fuck.

 

[a guy...]

And put an extra long solo instrumental middle too!

 

[En Vind Av Sorg]

*insert random gratuitous "flame" here*

Seriously, not bad though.

 

[ledmag]

not bad dude.

post some more.

 

[Lies and Perfidy]

Will do. This one would be fast...kinda Slayer-ish, but with a middle eastern-type riff and a big extended-note intro. I have no idea of what the technical terms would be, because I'm a stupid drummer who forgot everything he learned in band class since he switched schools.

Holy Land Bleeds

Draw a line in the sand for all to see
Ask “Are you with them or me?”
In the name of the dead at the wailing wall
Say “It’s time to kill them all!”

Holy war, holy war
It’s a sacred massacre
Apex of eons of hate
Reached in this small desert state

Blind deaf God, blind deaf God
Two priesthoods of holy frauds
Preach about brotherly love
Then send down death from above

Chorus:
Fighting for freedom or protecting the state
Whatever the words, it’s the same dark fate
Unreasoning killing, the death machines feed
Razored by madness, the holy land bleeds

Terrorists, terrorists
Pipe bombs for the innocents
Driven to insanity
Beyond bounds of humanity

Army cops, army cops
Here to make the killing stop
Striking out without remorse
Coming down with brutal force

Chorus

Money games, money games
For oil cast them all to flames
All the world’s become entangled
Stop war? Hey, it ain’t so simple!

Chorus x2

Draw a line in the sand for all to see
Will the holy land ever be free?

 

[En Vind Av Sorg]

Theres a band Called Meads Of Asphodel who call themselves "True Islamic Black Metal" and have a song called "Holy Lands Bleeding (Jihad)", but it dosent sound much like you song. just thought id mention that.

 

[Chuut-Riit]

True Islamic Black Metal
Doesn't this violate the understatement that Black Metal is antireligious?!

 

[rebirth]

ok

 

[Lies and Perfidy]

Oops. Didn't know about that one...ah well, bands steal song titles all the time.

 

[Unregistered]

Originally posted by Chuut-Riit
True Islamic Black Metal
Doesn't this violate the understatement that Black Metal is antireligious?!

Ever heard of Golgolot? Hebrew black metal thats extremely anti-christian. The question is: Are black metal bands all anti-religious, or just anti-christian?

 

[Mark McMahon]

Originally posted by Pyrus
Oops. Didn't know about that one...ah well, bands steal song titles all the time.

Testament - Burnt Offerings
Iced Earth - Burnt Offerings
Megadeth - Burnt Offerings (might just have been a cover, but I own a file which has them playin this.)

 

[Chromatose]

theres also a song Burnt Offerings by Christian Death



but I wouldnt think it was likely that with the song title Burnt Offerings it would be a case of bands "stealing song titles" .... its a commonly used phrase

 

[ledmag]

Pryus>>good stuff once again..i really liked the phrase "apex of eons of hate""" great one there.