I'm starting to remember hork stories now. It takes a LOT of booze for me to hork, and hasn't happened for very many years. Put it this way, I've consumed entire 750mL bottles of scotch in one sitting and not horked afterwards (giant hangover the next day), but used to hork several times a month while in college. Probably took several years off my life, d'oh well!
Puked out a car window on the freeway once on the way back from the bar, somehow was able to push the window down button thingy AND keep my hat on at the same time. I have very little memory of this night, but at one point I'm puking in my friends yard and he's pacing back and forth saying "we have to take him to the hospital we have to take him to the hospital we have to take him to the hospital" and I finally just yell "SHUT UP I'M FINE!!!" and then hork for the schfourteenth time.
Every few years I get this violent 8 hour flu, and this one happened shortly after drinking a Samuel Smith nut brown ale (just one). I think food poisoning caused this, but either way I actually went blind for about 20 minutes during said 8 hours, writhing on the floor in the bathroom, in the hallway, in my bedroom, knocking shit over and just wanting to die. Also was shitting my brains out the whole time, fun stuff.
Horked in my 6th grade classroom once, I said "teacher I don't feel so BLEAEREARDRDH" all over the damn place, then managed to hork one more time right before reaching the exit I was running toward. Everyone screamed EWWWW!!!!! and I can still pick out the voice of the girl I had a crush on in that class, haha.
That big write up on my friend horking out my car, then horking again on the freeway, then horking on the side of the road somehow with shit landing INSIDE my car the last time. Had to flick onion bits off the roof as he's horking, and myself and the other 2 passengers got a bit of splashback. Ugh.
Got REALLY REALLY REALLY high with 2 friends one day, so high that we started making weird sounds in sequence, and the one dude thought we were speaking in some language he didn't know, so kept yelling SPEAK ENGLISH!!! to us, very frightened. Then he started rocking back and forth, moaning, and we thought he was imitating "a monkey fucking a football fucking a monkey" as my unsick friend put it. Then BOOM he horks everywhere, we get up and run away, scared of this gross horking monster, and he continues to puke. Made a gigantic pile that was so disgusting I had to get a picture of it, and I did.
Playing beerpong one night, my friend said "okay I'm going to inhale this joint, chug this beer, then exhale the smoke." He did, and 15 minutes later he was lying down in the driveway puking his damn guts out forever. I've seen him do this countless times, but for someone new to it, they'd probably think he was dying or summoning the Beast or something (very gutteral sounds). So my other friend is freaking out, and I say "okay okay I'll help, let me go to my car and get something" to which I decided to take a nap in. He panics again, wakes me up, so we drag the dude into the garage and hose down the driveway, after my friend says "I'm too stoned to operate a hose!"
Duhhhh oh yeah I brought this chick with big hooters to a party one day, she got wasted so it was time to bring her home. The whole ride back she said "oh good we're leaving and now we're gonna have sex and it's gonna be great you're gonna score so am I blah blah blah" and a few minutes later I'm carrying her passed out body up the stairs to her second floor apartment. Spent the next several hours making sure she could get up in time to puke and not choke on her own vomit. No, didn't score that night.
For me, weed + beer = instant sleep
Marksveld said:
I have never had a hangover either...
DRINK MORE, WUSS!!!
