I can help you here. Hopefully Glenn has left and doesn't have a chance to see this post right away.
Here is the history:
Glenn was born a poor black child in the south.
From an early age, it was clear that Glenn was destined to forever speak like a redneck so underwent a pigment change operation. A perfectly nice white family adopted him as their own.
Glenn was introduced to heavy metal through hours of listening to the Allman Brother's Live at Fillmore East. He was in high school before he discovered that the south lost the civil war and that the Allman Brothers were not technically a metal band.
Glenn's first favorite metal band was Poison. He then progressed to Bon Jovi (You know you are gay if you envy his collection). From there the next logical step was Blind Guardian. To this day, he claims to have been a Metallica fan, but he only ever liked one song and I'm not telling which one.
The Internet came to the south approximately 134 years after the Union Army. Someone helped Glenn sign up for it (the Internet - not the Union Army).
Glenn got on the Internet and began bickering with prog fags about the greatness of gravelly singers like Hansi Kursch and Matt Barlow.
Glenn was converted to the greatness of prog when listening to an unknown German band torture cats in a Lovecraftian manner.
Glenn ventured off to Europe to meet said band and returned more smug than ever about the superiority of power metal after hating a Devin Townsend CD playing over the loudspeakers at a concert.
Glenn later repented this early hatred. His penance has been to feign a love for Jimmy Buffett.
Glenn ventured off to Baltimore to a metal festival featuring power metal and progressive metal bands. He wore rabbit skins over a Manowar t-shirt and drooled and drank heavily.
Glenn noted that the festival was slightly disorganized. He offered to help. His offer was declined. It may or may not have included a willingness to copulate with livestock.
Glenn attended this festival for two more years taking copious quantities of notes on what worked and what didn't work. One set of notes was notably thin.
Glenn figured out that the secret to promotion was telling everyone "fuck you I'm the damn boss" when he ran the perpetual motion music awards. Since he routinely won in every category except for biggest metal promoter and largest penis, he decided to take action on the one thing he could change.
Glenn scheduled a heavy metal festival as a lark in the hopes of sexually assaulting all the members of Virgin Steele.
Glenn was rebuffed in his sexual advances, but successful in his musical promotion.
Glenn made a decision that the south would rise again so he moved the festival to Atlanta, Georgia.
Glenn continued the festival in Atlanta for several years during which time his bank never foreclosed the mortgage on his house.
Glenn knows absolutely nothing about anything (especially quality in music) but allows his crew to do everything for him. He admits as much each year. His owes all his success to that Starbucks commercial.
Glenn is also a male nurse, but that has nothing to do with his musical promotion success so please don't make fun of it. It's a noble profession you might want to consider to duplicate his success fully. I'm sure he looks every bit as good in his fuschia scrubs as he does his hawaiian shirts.
Let me know if you have any more questions.
Joe
