Well I´ll post this here, ´couse I know everyone will read this thread... AND if you are this hard metal man that thinks that when you are into metal, then you should be a hard and nonemotional, please, stop read, ´couse this is important to me.
Well, just need to lighten my heart a bit, and you ppl might understand me a bit. I´m not asking of you to feel sorry for me in anyway, ´couse I know I could have it worse and this is a shit thing, but it just made my life miserable and shit. Just when I was about to enter the transport towards the happy feelings again...
Well first some backgruond history; Me and me exgirlfriend was going steady for like three years, then suddenly she diceided to move (this was this autumn). We still considered us a couple, but with her studies and stuff like that, + the fact that we probably had fell out of love made the desicion to brake up for good during the winters holiday not that sad it could have been (eventhough I feelt like shit for weeks, and still do)
Anyways... I was strugling to get on with my life, and I was determined to not let myself fall into this deep depression, which I am suffering from time to time (With like two year periods) I decided to BE happy, even if it felt like shit. I got along, and I was acctually starting to feel good, when suddenly, today at the pub (yeah I am drunk right now, and I will be sorry that I wrote al this tomorow, but whata heck! You guys are my friends, and it might be that I get the support from you that I couldn´t get from my other friends, ´coz they are either to drunk or to busy to hear my whining)
Where was I? Yeah at the oub. Well I saw this FABOLOUSLY beutiful speciment of the female sex. I looked at her for a time and she looked back (yeah this is whining, but hey! Stop reading if you cannot take it!) THe suddenly she stod up and came over to me, she took my head and said "I just wanted to tell you that you are very beautyful" I went totally red, and said something like "thanks you are very pretty yourself" Woa! I felt great! But then She went to her seat (she was sharing thetable with two guys)
We continued to exchange clanses, and I took the currage to walk over to her and talk to her. She looked at me for a while, and then she asked me "what" I went like, "errmm" And she said, "maybe you dont like that girls tell you that you are pretty, you maybe like harder stuff", and then she hit me. I stod up and walked awayfrom there. Sha sat there periodicly clansing at me (I was observing her al the time) I thought that maybe that was her boyfrined over there or something... So I tried to figure it out. I didn´t so I wnet over to ask her. her answer was "hell noo, but he is buying me drinks, so i prefer his company before yours" menaing that "you have not bought me drinks therfore you are scum" And that´s it.
A stupid tale, but it made me more sad than I have been for two years, and I do not like that feeling. I am torn, inside out. I am shattered. Even the old thoughts where coming hunting me when i walked home (far, cold) That was when I decided to write this. Instead of doin´anything stupid.
I bet non of you acctually read it all.
-phyros (not the cheering one he wants to be)