this hazily familiar name just logged on IM

[xfer]

and i THINK it was this girl i hooked up with in a bar a year ago in NYC when aysha and i were on the outs.

of course i got back together with aysha two months later and i'm happy not being broken up anymore.

i still kind of want to IM her and see what's up. or if she even remembers me.

is this a bad idea Y/N

 

[The Dope]

Well, if you only THINK that's who this person is, then the primary purpose of IMing her could ostensibly be to see who this "hazily familiar name" is.

 

[0sm0se]

Worst idea ever. Aysha will find out, she will hold a grudge, she will murder you, but only after killing Toby first in case of mistaken identity, she'll be forced to consume both of your bodies. She never gets caught, or frames the other girl. OG goes to jail, Aysha gets fat on human flesh, you and Toby are dead, and we miss out on great vocals, guitar, and impeccable, nigh-obsessive posting. Its a lose-lose-lose-lose. I can't condone it.

 

[xfer]

well i'm not going to try to strike up a sexual relationship with this girl!

dope, indeed, but will she maybe be offended i forgot who she was?

i seem to recall her parting words to me were something like "don't forget about me!" which i promptly did. we were both drunk/high/rolling/coked up/who knows what so maybe she doesn't remember me at all!

 

[xfer]

tonight is memory lane night, it seems. i randomly thought of a girl who i had forgotten existed completely who i used to MUD with and chat with on AIM (we were just levelling friends, of course).

 

[Astral Poetry]

This reminds me of a Shaq song:

Funkmaster, Big Dawg
Flex, Sonja Blade
Freestyle, uhh, uhh
Wha-wha-what-what?

Show your best, Shaq shit'll blow your chest
Go through your vest one time flow correct
Brick City style talk with flair, walk on air
Sumo, your Halle Berry coochie wear was just a rumor
Crazy raw, blaze the hardwood floors
Shut out a whole country two, days before
Slay your whore, like you never heard of the man
Rap, Roberto Duran, you, Davy Moore
So much dough, I could buy a third of the land
Crash my Jeep jump out, my Suburban you ran
If you ask me, Shaq ain't flashy
One piece of platinum make my whole body ashy
Nigga what?

 

[xfer]

I'm like the Pythagorean theorem--there is no answer.

 

[xfer]

since aysha and this girl are both on AIM should i invite them both into a chat room and then when they enter not say anything and let them talk at each other confusedly for a while Y/N

 

[The Dope]

yeah, that could work i suppose

 

[0sm0se]

You are so going to be in someone's digestive system soon.

 

[gekko]

Shame on you Astral Poetry for quoting Shaq, even in jest, shame on you. I am now dumber and less cultured from reading just the opening to that atrocity. I'm going to go scrub my mind with astringent chemicals now.

 

[The Dope]

I need to download some Shaq songs, I think.

 

[0sm0se]

You wouldst be tasting steel, villain, should you playest such rubbish in my presence.

Can I MUD with you now Alex? You know, before you're devoured by your vengeful significant other?

 

[xfer]

i don't MUD anymore. too dorky!

 

[mindspell]

i don't MUD anymore. too dorky!

Best line ever!

 

[lizard]

so Aysha isn't out in California permanently?

it sure seems like she gets mad at everyone eventually. in your update from your west coast trip you mentioned at least two people she was pissed at!

 

[xfer]

no, she's coming back in two weeks! she's going to live with me for a while while she tries to find an affordable apartment in Boston.

i don't remember mentioning two people she was pissed at? possibly her friend rebecca who showed up with her boyfriend and then completely disappeared even though we had made concrete plans to go to san diego together, so i don't blame her for being annoyed at rebecca.