Can you honestly say you can vividly remember your emotional response to an event when you were only 3 or younger? are you saying you were NEVER smacked, only spoken to?
I thought I remembered my childhood pretty well and was pleased with myself thinking I was never smacked as a child, untill i mentioned this in front of my Mum and she laughed her tits off! I was smacked a bit under the age of 5 apparently. lol
I have not only rolling memories since I was two, I have vivid memories of my child hood since I was three. I actually remember things that my mom doesn't including names of neighbors, weird perks about them (medical conditions, they were weird, drank too much, racist etc.). Like I mentioned in a post earlier that I was a very difficult child to deal with, I used to throw tantrums, where I was sent to my room, I would trow the heaviest toys possible at my door and actually putting a hole in my door when I was 5. My mom had to literally lock me in my room by tying the door knob to another door with dog leashes because I would walk out even though she would beat the living shit out of me every time, to the point where she would hurt herself and go for a belt. I will say first hand I deserved every bit of it. Even after all of that, as I got older, the things she told me began to click and I understood. It took until I was about 6 before such lessons began to click but she made sure that I knew that what I did was wrong.
That's the strange thing, when adults don't thing talking to the kids works, it does in way. When you tell them that something they did was wrong, even if they keep doing it, what you did tell them registered, they don't comprehend it. It will take a few years until they witness that lesson first hand before what you told them finally sticks, until then, you have the smacks on the butt to curb the behavior until then (for the most sever offenses).
You are completely right though, parents have to be consistent with punishments. You can't spank them for everything they do wrong, its an eye for an eye when in comes to punishing children and it has to be very consistent. That was my moms on fault as I got older, she stopped listening to me and punished blindly, which she will admit to now, but in the end as I got older she compensated a lot and the level of communication was so great that I was trusted and when she would punish me for something I understood. The corporal punishment stops as soon as the child knows what they do is wrong and actually understand. With most children its usually about the time they start Kindergarten (and whatever the EU/aussie guys call it). By that age you can actually carry conversation with them.
Funny thing is, since I was about 11, I have helped my mom raise my three cousins, really weird story, but long story short my three cousins have spent most of their lives in our residence. In our household my mom treats them like she did with me and I do the same. Since I was about 16 I have done my fair share of enforcing spankings, time outs, taking toys away etc for offences and so has my mom. Ironically enough, even though we are way more strict than their parents are, they feel more comfortable talking to us, the level of communication is there and we don't treat them like dumb shit as if they are too young to talk to. Funny thing is, their parents can't keep them under control, as soon as they stay with us, not a problem out of them, they respect the adult authority without question.
