Weird sexual stories

[Raoul J.]

My friend's father is a doctor and he says that many times, people/couples come in with some "private parts" problems.

Once a man came in with a barbie doll stuck up his behind.

Once a man came who's work-mates had used an air-gun to blow air up his asshole... he died.

Know any stories?

 

[RETIREDTrapped]

Ouch... That bottle looked rather.... err..... painful?

 

[Wolff]

Looks kinda trapped there.

Looks like there's some Coke left there.

Yummy

 

[RETIREDTrapped]

 

[Sullen Jester]

Where can I get a bottle like that?

 

[Wolff]

Trapped: That picture could well be yuor avatar. It looks kinda cool, it fits your name, and will score high points with freaks.

Plus bleu is better than red/brown



Sullen: Try the local hospital.

 

[Sullen Jester]

kthxbye

 

[RETIREDTrapped]

...I wonder if that's a glass bottle? If so, did he leave the metal cap on when he... uh.. misplaced the bottle? Ouch. THat would be sharp as hell. What happens if he sits down and the bottle SHATTERS in his asshole?

Shit eh?

 

[Kushantaiidan]

Oh here's a weird sexual story.. when I was about 7, there was this older kid and he...


FUCK YOU.

 

[Wolff]

took you aside to a drak place ...

 

[Kushantaiidan]

The same kid also taught me how to hypnotise chickens.

 

[Wolff]

Kewl

 

[Sullen Jester]

There was this one time.. at band camp..

 

[MetalManCPA]

Originally posted by Wolff
Kewl
http://www.ultimatemetal.com/forum/attachment.php?s=&postid=210163

That picture cracks me up.

When my son was less than a year old, I, the new Dad, was home alone with him while my wife was at work. I was watching a hockey game, and had just cracked open a beer, while my son was sitting on the floor next to me playing with some toys.

I had to go to the bathroom, so, without thinking, I put the beer on the floor, and proceeded to do my thing. First, I left him unwatched - mistake #1 - for a few minutes. When I got back - he was just sitting there. After a few minutes, I decided I needed some refreshment. Well, wouldn't you know, that full bottle of beer was 3/4 empty - mistake #2.

Well, I watched an entire hockey game, and so did my son - and he barely moved a muscle. That beer was the best babysitter I ever knew.

 

[RETIREDTrapped]

Uh... MetalmanCPA... You sure it wasn't the braindamage caused by the beer that kept him quiet?

 

[MetalManCPA]

Originally posted by Trapped
Uh... MetalmanCPA... You sure it wasn't the braindamage caused by the beer that kept him quiet?

Exactly. 3/4 bottle of beer in a baby keeps 'em quiet and motionless

 

[moonchild]