What do your farts smell like?

Susie said:
Whiles in glastonbury, i waited 2 days before using one of those porty bogs for a shit, i was bracing myself for the big day and when i got in there, there was a turd as big as a large cucumber, with a pile of sweetcorn threaded through it not in the toilet but in the sink :yuk: i stood there and puked me fuckin gutts right up :puke: when all i wanted was a dump.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 
I went to the Download festival a couple of weekends ago and just didnt eat so I didnt need a shit. I hate taking a shit in porta loo's, I hate taking a piss in them aswel but a shits particularly unpleasant..
I did wake up cos sum bird was taking a piss next to our tent n fell over n screamed cos she pissed on herself. That was pretty hilarious.
 
BTW anyone wanna buy a fender guitar case signed by DUNCAN PATTERSON (ex anathema/antimatter)and used on silent enigma/eternity/alternatvie four/dark side of the moon etc etc??
 
saint vincent de paul, jayzuz youse culchies know nothing at all *shakes head*

trouble? in so far as he cant be arsed?? :tickled: I'll need a signed letter passing over ownership to you. And dont try forge the signature either :Smug:

Anyway im off surfing this w/e and i dont know what you look like so feck off outta dat ya chancer!! do ye think i just came up the liffey in a fecking bubble yesterday?
 
a likely story. your only hope is thursday night, grafton street, with a permission slip and a copy of 1987 signed by david coverdale and mel galley for my troubles