Worst thing youve heard in bed?

[The intruder88]

Eh........ -that was actually quite funny...

 

[LiB]

2. Ahhhh, it's cute.

5. Make it dance.

6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?

9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?

20. It looks so unused.

Had those, i swear every fucking girl has said "can i paint a smiley on it". WTF just shut up and spread your legs. And i actually have the uncanny ability to move my dick at will, i can make it go in all directions and thrust up hard to give girls the extra thrills *grins*.

 

[Lethe78]

- After the intercourse the man says: "I'm too tired to do anything for you, let's go to sleep". This has happened more than once... :Smug:

Women need satisfaction too.

Isn't that what they make dildos for...?

 

[The intruder88]

 

[Lolita Vampiriá]

Isn't that what they make dildos for...?

Yeah, if I really want it fast, handy and without too much ado then yeah :Smug:.

 

[Silver Sable]

Thank you Hearse for laughing at what was one of the most humiliating degrading incidents of my short marriage. THAT is what happens when you wait till marriage to have sex. :Smug: By then it is too late to know that you got a LOSER! But that is why we have divorce! Yeah yeah... laugh at my expense... and yes it is hard mental image to get out of your head...

 

[Lethe78]

Yeah, if I really want it fast, handy and without too much ado then yeah :Smug:.

That is how I get it as well. My hand sucks when it comes to foreplay.

 

[Alyona]

worst thing I've ever heard in bed was:

erm...one of my ex boyfriends had a really attention starved little brother...and when we were having sex in his bedroom (which was right under my mums bedroom we lived in the same house..erm...different floors) the little boy was left alone in the rest of the house and because he "wanted to ask" my ex "something" and kept banging on the door and screaming his lungs off...really annoying! my ex was trying to ignore him and kept going...erm..at me........but it really is horrible when you can hear a little boy screaming for someone to talk to....



*orders a new dildo from an online sex store*....bliss!

 

[OfficerDown]

I don't hear anything because I'm like...asleep and stuff.

 

[Alyona]

hey marky boy

 

[Lolita Vampiriá]

Hearse is going to get Beth fornicated? :Smug:

 

[veil the sky]

worst thing I've ever heard in bed was:

erm...one of my ex boyfriends had a really attention starved little brother...and when we were having sex in his bedroom (which was right under my mums bedroom we lived in the same house..erm...different floors) the little boy was left alone in the rest of the house and because he "wanted to ask" my ex "something" and kept banging on the door and screaming his lungs off...really annoying! my ex was trying to ignore him and kept going...erm..at me........but it really is horrible when you can hear a little boy screaming for someone to talk to....



*orders a new dildo from an online sex store*....bliss!

oh man that reminds me, i was getting it on with this ex girlfriend of mine who had a similarly attention starved little brother. one time he just walked into the room without us knowing while she was on top. all of a sudden we heard this blubbing going on so we both stopped and turned around.

this 6 year old kid was standing there in his pyjamas crying saying "what are you doing to my sister??" and he went up to her and gave her a hug....... while she was still 'anchor down'


..................VERY disturbing stuff

 

[veil the sky]

er... no i wouldn't recommend it.

the last thing you want to see when you're about to blow your load is a half naked 6 year old boy crying uke:


well .......it is for some guys, but not me

 

[Beth]

Better read this Beth

hahahhaha....gee, thanks...for the warning



I don't care

 

[veil the sky]

don't care? about what?

 

[Alyona]

oh and apperently my little brother walked in on me, veils and my eastern europian girlfriend once


I can't say its true as I couldn't see anything with them both on top of me

 

[veil the sky]

hahaaaa yeh that was classic!!!!

the little guy jsut started faffing around on the internet for a few minutes then left, i didn't realise that neither of you had noticed!!!! lmfao!!!

 

[LiB]

what what WHAT?, threesome?

 

[Beth]

don't care? about what?

This:

Quote: Originally Posted by Silver Sable
Thank you Hearse for laughing at what was one of the most humiliating degrading incidents of my short marriage. THAT is what happens when you wait till marriage to have sex. :Smug:​

Better read this Beth











But what Silver was talking about, I can't recall anymore.

 

[Alyona]

hearse....pretend to be my little brother.



I can't understand....didn't he realise that...erm.....everone was naked apart from him? and what was he looking at on the internet?......my porn sites? :zombie: