1001 Ways to Kill Rusty

[Niklas]

wud be more painful feet first, wudnt die till waist or sumthing

 

[Steve]

castrate him

 

[Steve]

chop him up with a sword and put the pieces in a bag*

*throw the bag in a lake

 

[Spike]

Carefully walk him unbound up to a cliff overseeing a lake with what would appear to be rickety skiff at the bottom. Tell him that he has one choice of escape, the leaky boat or walking back down the cliff, and that you will take the alternate route to what he does... which means he can just walk away.....

Watch with amusement from the boat as unbeknownst to him, he tries to traverse the MINFIELD that you had carefully made your way through earlier.

(You don't HONESTLY think he's going to be game enough to risk the lake with all these OTHER watery experiences behind him, do you?

 

[embattler]

lock him in a room with some real fanatical christians who preach and preach,and preach and preach and preach and preach until he just gives up and dies

 

[NaTaSMAI]

Rape him, then chop him to bitty pieces and feed him to the pigs

 

[duckattack]

Build a dam at the point where a river flows into a lake. Wait for the lake to dry up. Lure Rusty into the dry lakebed, then open the dam. If his body washes ashore, throw it back into the lake.

 

[Spike]

Rape him, then chop him to bitty pieces and feed him to the pigs

[Bricktop]You're always goin to have problems lifting a body in 1 piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up the corpse into 6 pieces and pile it all togetha. And when you got your 6 pieces you gotta get rid of'em 'cause it's no good leavin' it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs, you gotta starve the pigs for a few days then the sight of a chopped up body will look like curry to a piss head. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggie's digestion. You could do this afterwards o'course but you don't wanna go siftin' thru pig shit now do ya. They will go thru bone like butta. You need at least 16 pigs to finish the job in one sitting so be wary of any man who owns a pig farm. They will go thru a body that weighs 200 pounds in about 8 minutes. That means that a single pig can consume 2 pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression 'as greedy as a pig'.[/Bricktop]

 

[embattler]

i have heard that dumping a body in mangroves is the best way cuz it is all gone in 24 hours and i mean all. crabs, fish , all the sea life just strip it down and take it all away even the bones. Now Spike is in the tropical north heaps of mangroves, up there ,ahhhhhhhhh the possibilties

 

[Niklas]

rape him with a broken bottle

 

[Steve]

make him eat poisoned potatoes

 

[Niklas]

hard boiled egg in the ass

 

[ante]

install loudspeakers in his head with annoying rap music

 

[Niklas]

lock in room with elton john

 

[Profanity]

Make him try and rape a lion and if he doesn't you'll kill ALL his family and friends.

 

[Niklas]

make him sit on litebulbs

 

[Niklas]

light bulbs*

 

[Steve]

give him poisoned beer*

*then throw him in a lake

 

[Niklas]

smother him in chocolate and mail him to a fat camp

 

[Steve]

mail him to a fat camp where he won't be allowed to eat.