50 ways to annoy metal fans

[soundgarden]

I always find black metal and the people who listen to it amusing. However, a few years ago I found metal and people who listen to it amusing. If I ever start liking it can someone please kill me

 

[wayne the goblin/robot]

pretty funny, I am about to post my 50 rules of neoclassical

yes, do 50 rules of prog too that list is too broad as i do not listen to venom therefore i can not relate.

 

[wayne the goblin/robot]

I always find black metal and the people who listen to it amusing. However, a few years ago I found metal and people who listen to it amusing. If I ever start liking it can someone please kill me

i used to like black metal.............until i found symphony x...........well symphony x and jesus that is........and dream theater.........and other bands too

 

[Beelzebub]

Everyone go read this now:

http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2645

 

[Rose Immortal]

I just read it.

God, that's pretty pathetic, that bit about Mogwai's behavior.

What's funny is that PROG metal is not listed as one of the "bad" genres. Guess we're doing something right...

As for that entire article...what a sad, misanthropic case this guy is. Surely he doesn't hate all music. He probably just says that to piss people off.

 

[Beelzebub]

Actually I found it to be pretty funny and it's quite obvious that one shouldn't take what he says seriously. He makes very valid points about grind and 80's hair metal.

 

[soundgarden]

What kind of music do YOU listen to?

Well, Ryan, I listen to a whole bunch of music. How would I be able to make fun of all these different sorts of music unless I’d heard them all? I listen to more music in a day than you listen to in a year. I play LPs at 45 RPM just to get through them faster (my brain automatically adjusts the speed so I hear them correctly). As I’m writing this, I’ve got three different CDs playing at once. I listen to every style, from Snoop Dogg to Schoenberg. But, wait, are you asking me what sort of music I enjoy? Nothing! I enjoy nothing!

I found the article amusing up to this point. This guy is full of sh*t.

 

[Rose Immortal]

Heh, maybe so...but I still think he just looks stupid.

(BTW, I'm waiting for Mogwai to send me my flame-mail now. Misanthropic losers. )

 

[Thraxz]

You are pretty dense if you can't tell he's kidding about everything. Goddamn... no can pick up on dry humor anymore.

 

[Lord Of Fire]

Those are very funny, great find!

One thing though: I thought metal WAS partially inspired by the blues, I recall reading something similar to that on another message board once, though I never knew whether that was true or not.

 

[Strychnos]

Good one, man. Funny and true for most of us...myself included.

 

[The Stormbringer]

One thing though: I thought metal WAS partially inspired by the blues, I recall reading something similar to that on another message board once, though I never knew whether that was true or not.

Every powerchord and basically every simple rock structure isn't only inspired by Blues, it's derived from it.

 

[MorphineChild205]

9. Record over their Cannibal Corpse albums with other Cannibal Corpse albums and see if they ever notice the difference.
15. Point out how stupid Manowar is. If they agree, which they shouldnt, tell them the only thing more stupid is Black Sabbath with Dio.
18. If they say they love 80s metal, ask them what ever happened to Poison.
19. Tell them you like underground music too, like Godsmack.
20. Point out that Tarja from Nightwish can't sing.
23. Divert their CD shipments to the local Jewish community center.
24. Write "God Loves You" on their Venom backpatch.
31. Tell them you're not hiring and to try the other Cinnabon down the street.
34. Ask if Randy Rhoads was on the same flight as John Denver.
44. Say you love Metallica's debut, The Black Album.
45. Notice that Lemmy hasn't moved his left hand in 30 years of playing bass. Haha.

Brilliant!