All Hail Food Tim!

[Malergion]

(6:41:27 PM) NoLordyCapone: food tim brb
(6:42:11 PM) Alfrinn: You'll have to introduce me to Food Tim sometime.
(6:42:43 PM) Alfrinn: I'll bet he's a jolly fellow.

Bow before your overlord, gents.

 

[Det Som Engang Var]

 

[Krigloch the Furious]

 

[Captain Beard]

He tried to eat my sandwich. I was displeased.

 

[Anvil]

Ah, the antics of Food Tim strike again. He once ate my party's entire supply of Pizza in two bites. I needed to pressure wash my bathroom because the aftermath.

 

[Malergion]

He's a tricky one, Food Tim is. He can eat a foot long sub sandwich before he orders it.

 

[Captain Beard]

I ordered 500 pieces of chicken for a gathering once. Tim whined that he wasn't on a diet and asked how anyone ELSE planned to eat.

 

[Malergion]

He typically measures his meals by pounds.

 

[Captain Beard]

I think MST3000 borrowed from him. I swear I heard him go to a restaurant and say "I'll have what I'm having" on at least 10 separate occasions.

 

[Malergion]

I served this to Food Tim as an appetizer for his birthday once.

 

[Captain Beard]

I fed him this last night:

Then he had this for dessert:

 

[Malergion]

After which he polished off a gross of these.

 

[Captain Beard]

He downs one of these during his morning pie.

 

[Captain Beard]

He made this his midday snack:

Reference:

 

[Malergion]

It took weeks of milking this cow ( unfortunately now deceased ) to get the requisite amount of milk.

 

[Anvil]

His minions brought him this sacrifice as a hope to quell his hunger for just one meal.

After consuming the giraffe in under 52 seconds, he asked for a second helping.

 

[Malergion]

And lo, his hunger would not be quelled; no, it would not be quelled by confection nor pastry nor spirits. It would not be quelled. Men saw this and they did fear Food Tim.

--Book of the Eaten, 1:13

 

[Anvil]

Food Tim once sat on this for some gratification.

It is now lodged 3 feet deep in one of his rolls.

 

[Shpongled]

I heard Food Tim uses crispy bacon to pick his teeth. And then eats it.

 

[Malergion]

That may be a bit of an understatement. See, there was an incident where Food Tim couldn't find a towel big enough at the local spa and sauna to wrap himself in, so he went to the local bacon plant and "borrowed" a pork belly. He was arrested a few minutes later, because before he'd returned to the sauna, he'd managed to entirely eat his body covering.