Another fucking story thread!

[ThisIsACoolName]

***There are plenty of "story" threads in here, but they all impose limitations on how one can contribute. "Three words", "song title", and so on. This one is completley free-form. Add a word, a sentence, a paragraph or more. Add a drawing. Add a sound recording. Add whatever you want. The only rule here is that your contribution(s) must be origional and must further the story. I'll begin.***

5:37 AM, Tuesday morning. It was still dark in my small, dank room when the telephone began to ring. Having no close family and no intimate relationships, I knew that this call was something serious. Something big. I knew before I even answered that whoever was on the other side was about to tell me something that just couldn't wait.

I was ahout to have a very big day.

"Hello?"

 

[Pessimism]

This is an awesome thread, screw everyone else!

"Hello my son" barked the reverend, he was once again drunk on liturgical delights. I could smell the liquor on his breath as he threw his bible on the table.

"What are you here for father"
"I heard that your time was almost up, and I felt morally obligated to find out exactly what you plan to do..."

The fucking pedophile couldn't stand to know that I was going to be free.

"Well father, if you must know..."

 

[chris-o-fer]

"...I'm going to stab your testicals with shards of glass."
The Revend replied in horror;

 

[Pessimism]

"My son, you cannot stab my testes; what else will the children play with in sSnday school!?"

"Eat my ass father"

Just then,........

 

[Mythos Inibri]

I heard a knock at the door.It was the cleaning woman but for some reason she was covered in blood and smiling wickedly.I noticed the Reverend was becoming aroused at the sight of the maids nipples poking out of her blood spattered shirt.The reverend pulled out his cock and said,..

 

[Valerie]

"I need this thing reattached. Do you have any superglue?"

 

[chris-o-fer]

"No" he said, "No Glue. But I do have some grape jelly you could try to smear on there."

 

[Mythos Inibri]

she then proceeded to take the grape jelly applicator from him with trembling hands.There was a chill in the air and the room was dimly lit by a candalabra.The reverend shuddered as she reattatched his penis and started swaying back and forth reciting satanic prayers.

 

[chris-o-fer]

Just then, Satan popped out from the bowels of Hades. He passed gas almost immediately, killing massive amounts of onlookers.

 

[Vimana]

Then I woke up from the dream. I realized I had wet the bed. I thought "Not again" as I got up to change my pants. Just as I reached in my dresser...

 

[chris-o-fer]

I tripped and busted my face open on the corner of the bed. After a few minutes of bleeding profusely...

 

[Vimana]

I realised I was naked. Then I realised a beaver was munching away on my nipple, so I walked away to..

 

[cadavria]

save my nipples,i got into the bathroom to clean myself from that horrible smell but when i was enjoying the water coolness i felt sthn touching me.i had soap in the eyes so i couldn't see what it was i only felt ...

 

[Vimana]

extremely Emo. I wanted to cut my hair so it was over one eye, and dye it black. And complain all the time about how I was missing one nipple, in a desperate hope to get girls.

 

[cadavria]

but then i remembred that girl next door, that brunett so i went out of the shower n run to her house naked knowin she's there, i sneaked into her house from the window

 

[Vimana]

and it turns out she was home alone when she answered the door, then she asked me to come upstairs and...

 

[Jetzelsberger]

eat some peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches while she jerks me off. I proceeded to go forth into the dimly lit house, bumbing my leg on something that seemed to moan. I looked down and saw...

 

[gatedropper]

The Reverend laying there with his penis in one hand and a jar of jelly in the other. I wasn't that hungry now for the PB&J sandwiches but had an appetite for destruction. I grabbed the nearest heavy object which was......

 

[maiden1]

A f*cking axe, as we all know her farther is the locale woodsman, and was the wood chopping champion for the....

 

[Vimana]

Jelly people. So then I walked upstairs and...