Another Poetry Game, only one word at a time please.

[S4R]

Dazzled by her fragile scent
Eternity

 

[Orchid]

Dazzled by her fragile scent
Eternity seems

 

[Russell]

Dazzled by her fragile scent
Eternity seems too

 

[_Transparent_]

Dazzled by her fragile scent
Eternity seems too embrace

 

[Ihsahn]

Dazzled by her fragile scent
Eternity seems to embrace the night

meaning the night, symbolizing darkness, seems like eternity to the speaker

 

[Orchid]

Dazzled by her fragile scent
Eternity seems to embrace the night
As she

(heheh, I can't help of thinking "and the night sets fore-veeer.. I stray in the quiet cold.." )

 

[Blackspirit]

Dazzled by her fragile scent
Eternity seems to embrace the night
As she danced

 

[Russell]

Originally posted by _Transparent_
Dazzled by her fragile scent
Eternity seems too embrace

Gah I mean too, as in 2 short or sumthing. Oh well And we're skipping tenses a bit here but:

Dazzled by her fragile scent
Eternity seems to embrace the night
As she danced, forever

 

[Ihsahn]

Dazzled by her fragile scent
Eternity seems to embrace the night
As she danced, forever hopeless

this is like a 15 year old's version of an Opeth song; I think we should start adding some BM influences (ie. forests, winter, cosmos, 'beyond'), just to experiment a little.

 

[D Mullholand]

Dazzled by her fragile scent
Eternity seems to embrace the night
As she danced, forever hopeless
Saturn

 

[Ihsahn]

Dazzled by her fragile scent
Eternity seems to embrace the night
As she danced, forever hopeless
Saturn L-200

 

[Aaron]

Dazzled by her fragile scent
Eternity seems to embrace the night
As she danced, forever hopeless
...beneath the pale moonlight...

 

[discouraged1]

Dazzled by her fragile scent
Eternity seems to embrace the night
As she danced, forever hopeless
I cried beneath the pale moonlight

I think it's better to put 'ich form' somewhere, otherwise the structure will be.........eeerrrrrrr.........less emotional

 

[_Transparent_]

Originally posted by godisanathiest


Gah I mean too, as in 2 short or sumthing. Oh well And we're skipping tenses a bit here but:

Dazzled by her fragile scent
Eternity seems to embrace the night
As she danced, forever

, even by my standards thats poor, maybe thats why i didnt do well at English As.

 

[Russell]

Originally posted by _Transparent_
, even by my standards thats poor, maybe thats why i didnt do well at English As.

Mayb u should hand this in to the teacher and see what they say?

 

[_Transparent_]

Originally posted by godisanathiest


Mayb u should hand this in to the teacher and see what they say?

well i quit now, so... lets not bother.

Dazzled by her fragile scent
Eternity seems to embrace the night
As she danced, forever hopeless
I cried beneath the pale moonlight
Pleasant

 

[Cainite]

Dazzled by her fragile scent
Eternity seems to embrace the night
As she danced, forever hopeless
I cried beneath the pale moonlight
Pleasant awakening

 

[S4R]

Dazzled by her fragile scent
Eternity seems to embrace the night
As she danced, forever hopeless
I cried beneath the pale moonlight
Pleasant awakening summoned

 

[TyrantOfFlames]

This game is hopeless. It seems as if there are a number of people who dont have the best grasp on English...or they just choose not to use it.

but whatever.

Dazzled by her fragile scent
Eternity seems to embrace the night
As she danced, forever hopeless
I cried beneath the pale moonlight
Pleasant awakening summoned stars

 

[TyrantOfFlames]

mind if i suggest some grammatical alterations?

Dazzled by her fragile scent
Eternity seemed to embrace the night
As she danced, forever hopeless
I cried beneath the pale moonlight
Pleasantly awakening summoned stars

well?