Another Poetry Game, only one word at a time please.

[Opet]

mind if i suggest some grammatical alterations? Not at all.

Dazzled by her fragile scent
Eternity seemed to embrace the night
As she danced, forever hopeless
I cried beneath the pale moonlight
Pleasantly awakening summoned stars

Why...

 

[Xtokalon]

Originally posted by TyrantOfFlames
mind if i suggest some grammatical alterations?

Dazzled by her fragile scent
Eternity seemed to embrace the night
As she danced, forever hopeless
I cried beneath the pale moonlight
Pleasantly awakening summoned stars

well?

Hate to intercede to correct you, but the corrections you have made were unneccesary.

"seem" should be "seem*S*" However, it need not be "seem*ed*"

pleasant need not be pleasant*ly* since awakening can be a gerund (a noun ending in "ing") and not a present participle ( a verb ending in ing)

Which raises the point anyway. Poetry defies basic grammar. It is not strictured to such rules, at least not strictly. Though some rules of grammar must always be observed. hmmmm....

 

[Xtokalon]

Dazzled by her fragile scent
Eternity seemed to embrace the night
As she danced, forever hopeless
I cried beneath the pale moonlight
Pleasantly awakening summoned stars

Why must I......

 

[Russell]

Dazzled by her fragile scent
Eternity seemed to embrace the night
As she danced, forever hopeless
I cried beneath the pale moonlight
Pleasantly awakening summoned stars
Why must I feel

I think when we read this, we all see different things. I said feel, so it could be read, as why must I feel this way. but I'm sure whoever replies will think of it iun a different way... thats why people replies don't always make sense, as peoples ideas are different

 

[S4R]

The reason I started this thread four score and 125 posts ago was for everyone to create something together, some of you fail to see this is a work of all of us and it means different things to different people, and individuals may want it to go in a certain direction, but it does not, that is the fun in games such as these; to see who thinks and has feelings similar to your own, please, no corrections of the input of others, if something is to your disliking, write your own shit, or add a word to try and move it in a direction of your liking.

 

[Russell]

Originally posted by Soul4Raziel
The reason I started this thread four score and 125 posts ago was for everyone to create something together, some of you fail to see this is a work of all of us and it means different things to different people, and individuals may want it to go in a certain direction, but it does not, that is the fun in games such as these; to see who thinks and has feelings similar to your own, please, no corrections of the input of others, if something is to your disliking, write your own shit, or add a word to try and move it in a direction of your liking.

I see that, my point was TyrantOfFlames was complaining

This game is hopeless. It seems as if there are a number of people who dont have the best grasp on English...or they just choose not to use it.

and I was suggesting an explanation, I wasn't complaining. I like the way this works

(And if this post wasn't aimed at me (which I don't think the last bit was) )

 

[_Transparent_]

fuck this lets fight!

 

[Russell]

Originally posted by _Transparent_
fuck this lets fight!

Yeah? 'cmon then, wanna take this outside? I'll chop off ur legs and sell them to the black market.....

 

[HarmonyDies....]

Dead

 

[MarigoldInBloom]

Pitiful.

 

[HarmonyDies....]

Flowers

 

[discouraged1]

Smiling

 

[Muhcashin]

Dead pitiful flowers staring...

at

 

[Muhcashin]

It`s more like

Dead pitiful flowers smiling at