Arrrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhh

[bleed for me]

i found these reviews on www.teufelstomb.com...

Opeth - Still Life
UUUGGGHHH... yet another worthless fucking release from this rock and roll "black metal" band. I can appreciate some of the other Opeth albums because they do have feeling and emotion in them, but this album is pure bullshit. From just listening to the entire album I can definitely see that this was created purely for profit, not for any other reason. If you happen to see these worthless piles of horse shit on the street one day, please throw a rock at them for me.

In Flames - Colony
They should take the tank from the cover of the last Marduk album, line up all of the bands in Sweden and CRUSH THEM ALL! Why must we be bothered by all of this crap? From Dark Tranquillity, to Opeth, to Marduk, to this horrible band In Flames, we are constantly bothered by these worthless Swedish bands. I hope everyone in this horrible band gets cancer.




that guy should have been aborted

 

[musicholic]

I have read dozens of Opeth reviews and that is the first bad one I have seen. The "reviewer" may be one of those whorish media types who is waiting for a "payoff" to write something nice. I guess no Swedish band has sent him anything yet...

 

[Blackspirit]

Is it just me, or is that whole site filled with hate?

 

[aegis]

lol, thanks for the links, it made me laugh !!!

just for fun, some other extracts :
Cradle of Filth - Cruelty and the Beast :
"This CD is horrible. I won't even waste my time. If you buy this and enjoy it you are more than likely a fucking fag, so there is no reason to try to insult you"

In Extremo - Verhert und angespien :
"Oddly enough the music is rather catchy, and I could easily see people picking this up and enjoying it, however, rest assured should anyone I know enjoy this album or band, I will gladly put them out of their misery with a single gun shot to the back of the head."

Stratovarius - Infinite :
"I think the major US labels should pull their offices out of Germany and relocate them to countries with decent taste in music. Anyone living in a country who's people once followed a short man with silly pants and an ugly mustache should not have the authority to sign any bands"

Tristania - Perpetual Desolation :
"If everyone who passes this mongoloid yakpiss off for metal took a bullet in the back of the head, this world would start looking a lot fucking better in a very fucking short while. So FUCK YOU, Napalm and FUCK YOU, The Sins of Thy Beloved. FUCK YOU, Dismal Euphony, Mactätus, Obtained Enslavement, Siebenbürgen and Tristania and a massive FUCK YOU to every single idiot out there that can sit and look at this without fucking breaking something in two. Yes, THAT MEANS YOU, MOTHERFUCKER. FUCK YOU!"

Tristania - Beyond the Veil :
"IF YOU ARE NOT IN THE LEAST BIT INTERESTED IN HATING AND KILLING PEOPLE, DO NOT ASSOCIATE YOURSELF WITH HEAVY METAL"

Immortal - At the Heart of Winter :
"AHAHAHhAhaHaHaHaHAH... look at these two fat fucking losers. These fat idiots decided to take pictures of themselves with silly looking clown paint on and their leather pants, but no shirts. Those tight pants make them look even sillier, did they think that people would fear them because they look like complete and total fucking dipshits?! Maybe people in Norway don't find big fat clowns funny, but I know I certainly do. Oh, by the way, the music is gay too."

for Immortal it isn't an extract, it's the full review

 

[mindflesh]

I knew this site before...
Their only intention seems to be to annoy people by claiming that almost every band that isn't extremely brutal heavy satanic death or black metal and sells more than 1000 copies sucks. Well, that's the impression I get anyway...
I think the one responsible was basically just pissed off about everything, including himself. If you look at the staff page, you will see - on top of the page - something like a death-metal-fred-durst, including baseball cap. That seems to be "teufel"

 

[_Transparent_]

at least its better than being ranked along the lines of bands like linkin park, and limp shitdicks

 

[Misanthrope]

Not better...maybe equally bad

 

[Bleakest Harvest]

But surely *nothing* could be a sbad as nu-metal...

...except maybe rap...

...and theres rap+nu-metal = rap metal....ughguhguggughgughuh

 

[Demonspell]

I agree, someone should put that pseudo-Aryan fucker out of his misery.