Asshole Things My Friend Who's Getting Married On Saturday's Fiance Has Done

[azal]

goat.

 

[mousewings]

Eeew. Totally ick @ his picture...

just thinking about anyone marrying that makes my skin crawl

 

[xfer]

At this time...I will witness their wedding before I see my home again.

 

[xfer]

it happened.

the speeches by the best man and the (honorary) matron of honor were basically just anecdotes about the bride and groom...halfway through, Bill leans over and says to me, "Ummm...so all the stories about Trish are about how nice/cool she is and all the stories about Adam are about what a dick he is?"

such as:

- became "the first person we knew to get thrown out of an intramural wiffle-ball game" because he threw the bat at the pitcher and charged the mound after becoming convinced that the pitcher was aiming at him. with the wiffle ball.

he was like 23.

 

[avi]

that's really sad

 

[FalseTodd]

I'm not sure who I think it would be kinder to assassinate, him or her

 

[xfer]

this isn't really "asshole" behaviour, but:

- when Dan went down to the hall to check out the piano he would be playing during the ceremony, Adam pulled him aside and said confidently, "Don't worry--it's a Hyundai"

(Adam drives a Hyundai)

 

[The Dope]

I'm surprised somebody who is so uptight about appearing masculine would dare drive a Hyundai.

 

[The Dope]

Hell, I wouldn't even drive a Hyundai. This Adam guy is a total wuss.

 

[lizard]

xfer, just out of curiosity...what kind of music does this guy like?

 

[gekko]

- here is his picture:

Ok I'm sorry, I'm coming to this late but I must comment. The stories you have been telling make me want to cry. But I laughed for about 5 minutes after seeing this picture. HUNTING LESSONS!? WTF!? As someone who actually hunts, I am offended, I am also ready to declare him the biggest douche in the universe. Also, he is the sort of guy who ends up shooting somebody cause he's an idiot. Maybe I should call this guy up, take him hunting, and make sure that he has a 'hunting accident'. I mean that in the feudal sense, you know when the lord oddly forgets which end of his boar spear is sharp and forgets that you stick it in the animal and not himself.

 

[xfer]

i actually don't know! anything i say would be a guess!

 

[gekko]

I didn't even noticed he had a scope. What a dumbass. You really need a scope when a flock of geese fly 20 feet from you....

Tell Tom from Myspace that he is totally right!

HOLY SHIT! I just now noticed the scope! I laughed even harder this time. Not only do you not need it, it would be detrimental. A shotgun has no effectiveness at the distance a scope becomes necessary, at the distance one uses a shotgun you wouldn't be able to stay trained on your target, it would zoom through your viewfinder in basically zero time. WHAT A DUMBASS. I bet the gunsmith who attached that thing for him almost crapped himself he was laughing so hard.

 

[xfer]

yeah, his excuse when i brought it up was "we use slugs!" but i don't think a scope is even necessary for a slug because of the range thing!

 

[gekko]

For the things this guy does to your friend, he is also officially the worst human being on earth. I didn't think cavemen like that even existed anymore.

 

[gekko]

If he is using slugs then he's deer hunting, and if he is using a scope to hunt for deer with a shotgun then he's an even bigger douche than I thought. The deer run right by you!

 

[minxnim]

that's it. i am putting a curse on the bride and the groom. they both deserve one another. so i am going to make sure they suffer together forever!

xoxo minX

 

[mindspell]

Slugs has nothing to do with anything. He is probably the kind of guy to use slugs while hunting game to make sure he totally shreds to pieces the poor partridge or hare he managed to hit, by the sheer luck.

 

[lizard]

I'm not sure who I think it would be kinder to assassinate, him or her

unfortunately its better not to kill her. think about it; he'd make money off insurance, and then he'd be let loose on the women of america once again!

 

[goatschool]

so alex, are you prepared for the lengthy and drawn out break-up process that ends in divorce 6-15 years from now?